Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Bola Essien Nelson - Believe the Best of Your Spouse Always

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Formerly known as the Desperate Naija Woman, Bola Essien Nelson now prefers to be called Salt, and blogs at the Salt Chronicles. She is the author of three instalments of the Diary of a Desperate Naija Woman (2009, 2010 and 2011). She says of herself, "I am not perfect. I am no saint.I am not Maya Angelou. Nor am I Einstein. I am just a working wife and mom stumbling along, trying to make my way to heaven. I must see God. I just must." Enjoy her marriage avowals;

How did you meet your husband?

I met my mgm (mighty good man) at the University of Uyo, Akwa Ibom State, Nigeria where we were both students. I actually remember the first day I saw him because it was in my year 1 and I was with a group of friends and one of them, Rita Ezedunor (nee Ajufo), shouted out loud ‘NEPA!’ as he walked by because he was so fair! I found it quite amusing that they were all going on and on about how tall and handsome he was because I was not impressed at all! I think it was the air of confidence he seemed to have that put me off. To me, he just looked ‘full of him-self’ as most ‘Lagos boys’ did back then.

As these things go, he eventually started ‘toasting’ me and after a long time, I agreed. I remember Rita ‘vexing’ with me for ‘pretending’ not to like him and then going off to date him. The funny thing is that much later I found out that he only asked me out to win a bet! Can you beat that? His friend Kingsley had bet him some money that he would not be able to win me over (I was known to be this ‘prudish, fat, Yoruba girl’). He being a ‘Casanova’ did not understand how anyone could refuse him. So he agreed to the bet for a laugh but as God would have it, he fell for me in the process! Yes, the Ibibio James Bond fell for the Ekiti Little Red Riding Hood. Poetic Justice abi? Lol!

LinkedIn Bans Prostitutes From Using The Website

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LinkedIn, the website for connecting professionally, has banned users from promoting prostitution services on their website. LinkedIn just rolled out several changes to its privacy policy and user agreement, and if like me, you're on LinkedIn, you'll have seen the notice on their website. Most of the changes seem to be simplifications of the usual fine print, though one new item stands out and appears to be new. LinkedIn says users must not;

i. Even if it is legal where you are located, create profiles or provide content that promotes escort services or prostitution.

This kind of ban, according to ReadWrite, is not completely new. "LinkedIn previously forbade advertising "unlawful" services. However, prostitution is legal in some European countries, and escort services fall into a legal gray area in many jurisdictions." Also, the clarification became necessary, as it seems some LinkedIn members were being sneaky and offering escort and paid for sex through their professional profiles.

The Best Man Holiday Teaser Trailer

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The Best Man was one of the very first African American Romantic Comedies I saw and I fell in love with most of the actors, both male and female. I've since followed their careers in both romcoms, TV series and more serious films. Now, nearly 15 years after that first movies, Taye Diggs, Nia Long, Morris Chestnut, Harold Perrineau, Terrence Howard, Sanaa Lathan, Monica Calhoun, Melissa De Sousa and Regina Hall have just wrapped on shooting the sequel. The synopsis says;

When the college friends finally reunite over the Christmas holidays, they will discover just how easy it is for long-forgotten rivalries and romances to be ignited.

The Best Man Holiday hits theaters on Nov. 15, 2013, just before Thanksgiving in America, and then Christmas of course. That's where the Holiday in the title comes in. I can't wait. See the teaser below.

My Medical Choice - Angelina Jolie On Her Double Mastectomy

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I loved Angelina Jolie in Lara Croft, Tomb Raider. Then in Wanted, and her action movies including Mr. and Mrs. Smith. The whole scandal with Brad Pitt kind of muddied the waters, but in my opinion, she pulled through it pretty OK. She has since then gone on to star in, and direct more great movies.

Angelina Jolie is a hands-on philanthropist and humanitarian ambassador, and she's of course a role model for adoption, and I respect her for that. However, after reading this op-ed article she wrote for the New York Times, where she comes out about having both her breasts removed (double mastectomy) to reduce her chances of cancer, my respect for her has doubled if not quadrupled.

I wish her the best with her health and family. Please read and be inspired, and share.

MY MOTHER fought cancer for almost a decade and died at 56. She held out long enough to meet the first of her grandchildren and to hold them in her arms. But my other children will never have the chance to know her and experience how loving and gracious she was.

We often speak of “Mommy’s mommy,” and I find myself trying to explain the illness that took her away from us. They have asked if the same could happen to me. I have always told them not to worry, but the truth is I carry a “faulty” gene, BRCA1, which sharply increases my risk of developing breast cancer and ovarian cancer.

My doctors estimated that I had an 87 percent risk of breast cancer and a 50 percent risk of ovarian cancer, although the risk is different in the case of each woman.

Agbani Darego on the TW Magazine Cover

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In the cover story, former Miss World winner, Agbani Darego "opens up like never before, sharing details about her journey from the pageant world to the modeling circuit her current evolution into a fashion entrepreneur with the launch of her eponymous denim line." TW Magazine.

Hafsat Abiola in Chime For Change's Mother's Day Tribute Video

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In her second Mother's Day as a mom of Blue Ivy, Beyonce is joining Gucci’s new Mother's Day campaign for Chime for Change in a tribute video celebrating mother's everywhere. Beyonce and other celebs including Cameron Diaz, John Legend, Blake Lively, Olivia Wilde and Ziggy Marley share their favorite things about their own moms, and the unique qualities that makes their moms so special. Hafsat Abiola, who has been featured before by Chime For Change, also pays a touching tribute to her late mom.

The theme for the video is “This Mother’s Day, I chime for you,”.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Facing Facts - 5 Myths About Women and Sex

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by Kristen Mark

There is so much misinformation floating around about women's sexual desire. It is built up to be so elusive, it is no wonder women feel restricted in their expression of it.

As a researcher who focuses a lot of my attention on sexual desire, I think it is important to set the record straight when it comes to misinformation regarding women's sexual desire.

Here are five myths decoded based on the science of desire:

Myth One: Women have lower sexual desire than men.

No! Research has found that women and men are equally likely to be the partner less desirous of sex. This hasn't been found in just one study, either. In my own research alone, I've found a non-significant difference between men and women in three different samples of couples.

Myth Two: Sexual response involves desire, then arousal, and then orgasm.

Should I Leave or Should I Stay by Ekene Onu

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Sometimes I get the question, should I leave or should I stay. I never give an opinion. I believe you should do as your heart, mind and spirit leads you to. What I do say is this...You can begin the healing process exactly where you are and as you heal and grow, the time will come when you know what to do and find the courage to make whatever choice you choose for yourself.

So how do you begin to heal even in the midst of crappy circumstances? Stop focusing on him(her) and begin to focus on you.

Refresh your spirit by;

1. Reconnecting to yourself. Be quiet. Breathe in and out. Reflect on how God made you and the woman that you still are down deep. I don't care how many mistakes you have made or how imperfect you may seem, you were created by a divine order and not in error. And every day you are given a fresh breath of life. A gift from your creator. Your life is not over. Even if you are constantly in tears...try to remember who you are. And be grateful for that.

2. Reconnect to the people around you. Sometimes we forget that love is all around us. We keep seeking it from one person. And that person may be too damaged to give you what you need. If he cannot or will not love you, it doesn't mean you are unlovable or even unloved. Look around you. Your family, your friends, your children perhaps. Receive their love and give back in return. Cultivate the relationships that feed your soul.

Ibifiri and Bolaji Kamson - We Make A Good Team

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Ibifiri is the blogger behind Secretlilies, she is also a writer and aspiring author. She writes of herself, "I love motivating people, I love women empowerment, I am a romantic at heart, I love fashion and I love creativity. Things I do: Fashion: Love making handbags. Writing: I love to write, even though I haven't published any novel yet. Reading...I long for days I can lazy about in bed reading a good romance novel. Very relaxing. God: hmmm Love Him. Temi: my knight." Enjoy her marriage avowals;

How did you meet your husband?
After uni we were told that we had to stay at home for an extra year before we could go for youth service, so I decided to be a photographer. Would I say it was fate or what there was an opening in one of the best photo studios in Port Harcourt and I sent my CV, went for the interview and was hired. That's how I meet my husband, turns out the owner of the photo studio was/is my husband. He was scoping me right from the day of my interview..lol

How long have you been married?
25th of October this year, would be 5 years.

How did your husband propose?
He tricked me into going to le Meridan hotel, when I got there, the head staff told me some story that some one asked to see me in the conference room. I wouldn't have gone in the first place but he was so polite that I obliged. Got into the conference room, which already had a romantic setting. I sat down still wondering what it was all about, and wondering who really wanted to see me while thinking that I must have missed the polo tournament. Lo and behold my husband then boyfriend came out from behind the curtains, got down on one knee and proposed. All the staff in the hotel knew about this except me.

Leonardo DiCaprio is Definitely Not The Great Gatsby

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The Great Gatsby is a great book. I enjoyed it when I read it, a long time ago to be honest, and I am looking forward to seeing it at the cinema soon. Two of the reasons drawing me to this movie version is Baz Luhrmann directing and Leonardo DiCaprio playing the title role.

After falling in love with his portrayal of Jack in Titanic, I've been a fan, and it's easy to think he's the same as the characters he plays on the big screen. That is, until you see pictures like the ones below.

Warning, you might be traumatized. :)