Monday, May 6, 2013

Lauryn Hill Sentenced to Three Months in Prison

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Just last Friday, Lauryn Hill released a new song, writing on her Tumblr that it was something she "was ‘required’ to release immediately, by virtue of the impending legal deadline." Referring to her use of social media to publicise her song, she said she loved being able to reach people directly, but that in an ideal scenario, she would not have wanted to rush the release of new music.

She also referenced the tragic loss of former label mate Chris Kelly of Kris Kross, and wrote that she was "even more pressed to YELL" the song to "a multitude that may not understand the cost of allowing today’s unhealthy paradigms to remain unchecked!"

Lauryn Hill pleaded guilty last year to three counts of failing to file tax returns on more than $1.8 million between 2005 and 2007 and was to be sentenced today. According to CNN, she received a three month prison sentence, She must also pay penalties and taxes still owed, a $60,000 fine, serve a year on probation and possibly three months of home confinement.

Wesley Snipes is another celebrity among many that are found trying to evade taxes, deliberately not paying, or maybe they're simply ignorant of the tax system. I hope Lauryn Hill gets through this. Three months doesn't seem like too long...

Paul Okoye and the Paternity Issue

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I wrote about the news of Paul Okoye's first child outside of marriage last month, asking why it seems so common among young Nigerians that young ladies get pregnant before marriage. But getting pregnant and going ahead to marry or continue a relationship with your man is a different matter from carrying your baby to term and being abandoned by the father.

Recent news as reported by Sahara Reporters suggest that this may be the situation Elshama Igbanoi finds herself in with Paul Okoye.

A few weeks after welcoming his first new born baby in Atlanta, P Square – who is also known as P2 – had another baby delivered for him in a London hospital by a former beauty pageant contestant. However, this time, P Square has refused to claim paternal responsibility for the baby boy.

Our sources said the new mother had been in touch with P2, but he had not been forthcoming beyond telling her that he plans to arrive in London for a DNA test to ascertain paternity. SaharaReporters spoke to the woman’s father, Benson Igbanoi, in Abuja. Mr. Igbanoi stated that his daughter was faithful to the musician. He also revealed that he had sent several emails to P Square concerning his daughter’s pregnancy for him, but had received no response.

Guess What The Hairy Snail is?

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I have received dozens of messages on Facebook, Twitter and Email about my posts on oral sex, from calling my Nigerianness, faith or respectability in question, to giving or asking me more details on how to give good head, but I did not find any of them as funny as this twitpic someone RT to me on Twitter.

Indeed, it seems Nigerians, and even traditional types speaking in their local language, do know what oral sex is, even if they use a different vocabulary for it. The picture above is a screen grab from a Yoruba movie with subtitles. Let's overlook for a moment the way the actors are dressed, the whole hairy snail business, idk, but it got me choking on my drink, in a fun way sha, lol...

Who has heard that before, it was my first time :)

Marriage and the Age Question - Chris Brown and Rihanna

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Chris Brown brought up the age and marriage question [see post - Ideal age to get married] when answering questions about his relationship with Rihanna. He said to 2dayFm,

“The way I look at it is… I’m always going to love that person, but people have differences, and people have different wants and needs.”
“At the end of the day she’s a young girl. I can’t really be focused on wife-ing somebody that young… and I’m young too.”
“I just got to step forward and be a man and be the best Chris Brown I can be instead of worrying about whoever else is going to be in my side pocket.”

Chris Brown is 24 and Rihanna is 25. I am of the opinion that he has a point, but after seeing Rihanna during her interview with Oprah, I think she's much more mature than most women her age, and it does seem she's ready to get married. Chris, maybe not so much.

What To Do When Your Husband is a Serial Cheater

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This was the email I sent in reply to the lady who sent the Dear Myne - I don't know the man I married. I decided to share it here so others may read. Also, she needs names or contact details of sex addiction or couple and marriage therapists in the Lagos area. Thanks.

Each mail I get is sad, but this must be one of the most touching. I love and believe in marriage and it always breaks my heart to know some of us are sailing in rough waters. And this is even more touching because of your pregnancy. I really care and I wish I was there to give you a hug.

I will publish this tomorrow. On my part, I will say do not be so quick to think of divorce, especially for the sake of the baby. And from your story, this is the verified first time you have caught on to his cheating. It's unfortunate that it's so massive.

Ways forward - have an in-house separation coupled with counselling. This means that though you both continue to live together, there will be some things you don't do as a married couple. No more sex, and cut back on your outings together. And to be sure you're not punishing him, please talk a lot. It is clear you care for him so tell him that and ensure he understands that you want to work on the marriage to be better, and for him to find healing and peace.

Dear Myne - My Girlfriend is Tied to Her Mother's Apron Strings

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Hi Myne, I'm in a little of a problem and need advice. I am ready to get married and I've been dating a friend for about 7mths. She's been supportive and we click in most issues but I'm not sure I want to be with her anymore. She can't cook and at 30 is still tied firmly to her mom's apron strings. She can't make 1 decision without consulting her mom, explaining her mom feels left out if she doesn't consult her.

I think that if I marry her, I would get irritated very soon and cheat, either because another woman offers good food or because "my wife's" mom's hold exists through the marriage. Also, my girlfriend had a little roue reputation. I wasn't really bothered about that. But will I, one day?

A Traditional Igbo Intercultural Wedding

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I came across this wedding photos and simply loved them. The lady is Igbo, Kelechi ‘Kecci’ and her groom is Sander. They got married the Nigerian traditional way and she brought her hubby, friends and family to her home town in Umuagwo Eziudo, Imo State for the ceremony. I wish them an awesome married life.

The Date: Easter Sunday, March 31, 2013
Photographer: Temitope Ajayi
Makeup: Kemmy Shona
Stylist: Esther Uka

More pictures below...

Sunday, May 5, 2013

What does a Couple's Sleeping Position Say about their Relationship?

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Spoon with man outside

Following a study of the positions in which couples sleep, Corrine Sweet, a relationship expert spoke to HuffPo, and is of the opinion that a couple's sleeping habits can reveal stresses and strains within their relationship.

"Couples fall into habitual ways of sleeping together that suits their personalities and personal preferences. These are negotiated at the outset, so if something changes in how they sleep together, this can reflect a change in their relationship and cause concern for the other partner.

"Individual psychological states also affect how we sleep and the positions we sleep in, so if we are stressed we may be irritable, and not want to snuggle up with our partner. Arguments often lead to sleeping wide apart, as people feel loathe to touch. Women's temperatures rise with menstruation, so they may want to sleep less entwined during their 'time of the month’.”

Couple Love - David Oyelowo and Wife on the Red Carpet

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David Oyelowo is a British actor of Nigerian ancestry. I've seen in several movies including Last King of Scotland, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and Jack Reacher. I was reading about him the other day and discovered that he is always on the red carpet with his wife of 15 years, with whom he has four children. He never misses taking her along for events. She is an actor also. So sweet.

Chimamanda Adichie on Americanah Lagos Tour

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So who has attended any of the book readings Chimamanda has given in Lagos over the past couple of weeks? I saw a TV interview where the presenters weren't very prepared and which made the interview come across as a rehash of others I've seen. I was reading an article about it and came across the following that I wanted to share;

Adichie describes herself as looking "at the world through Nigerian eyes," but she doesn't hold back on criticizing its culture that fosters widespread government corruption. Or what she perceives as the excessive, neutered politeness of "political-correct language" in the U.S.

"Nigeria wasn't set up to succeed, but the extent of its failure is ours. It's our responsibility," she said. "This country is full of so many intelligent people, so much energy, so much potential, so why are we here?"

That kind of truth telling isn't exactly welcome, even in a democratic Nigeria. Speaking Saturday night at a book signing, Adichie drew laughter and a few nervous looks from organizers by describing President Goodluck Jonathan as "not a bad guy, he just seems like he's floundering and has no clue."
What are your thoughts?