Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Dear Myne - I am Bisexual, Should I Get Married?

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Hi Myne, I know this is not the type of mails you usually receive, and I hope you and your readers will not judge me. I will be 25 years old later this year, and I’ve been engaged for almost a year now to my wonderful fiance and we live together and are sexually active. We live in the UK. We were both born Christians but not really overly religious or anything, so that’s not a factor. However, he does not know about my sexuality, that is, that I'm also attracted to women.

When he proposed to me, I accepted it without thinking too much about it. I"ve done a lot of growing up in the past one year, I graduated Uni, we moved in together six months ago, now I understand more what it means to make a lifetime commitment. Don't get me wrong, I love my fiance very much. He’s my best friend and knows me better than anyone else.  He would make an incredible husband as we get along very well and rarely fight.. But at the same time, I don’t feel I should go ahead and get married to him, especially if he doesn't know I'm bisexual.

How do I know I'm bisexual? I'm sure some people reading can guess. It is the usual, I went to an all girls boarding school in Nigeria and before I completed secondary school, I had two female lovers. The first was a senior who taught me all about it. I won't say she corrupted me because I was already sexually attracted to some other girls in my school before she made her move. The second was my classmate, we drifted together, or I toasted her, and we were together till we graduated. We lost contact when I moved to the UK.

POLL - What is your Love Language?

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Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a book titled The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts and it became and still is, one of the go to books for counselling couples on how to keep their relationship fresh and nurtured. The love languages go both ways, the ones you like to receive and the ones you like to give.

Adventures of a Miss!! Episode 9

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I’m all sorts of confused right now, ok let me run this through my head again. Ok, Bolaji saw Zainab and Kola kissing, asked her why she was kissing another man. Yes that happened; I rub my head while trying to remember exactly what I saw. Then Zainab started crying begging Bolaji but she was calling him baby. Then she asked Kola to leave, tried to kiss Bolaji but he resisted after the kiss had gone on for about 10 seconds.

He asked her gently to stop and said they would talk later because Muhammad was inside the house. I am not sure what to make of this scenario; there are two things that are baffling me. Why is Zainab calling my fiancée baby and why does she think she can kiss him? It means that they have definitely kissed before. My mind is painting me so many pictures of Bolaji and Zainab in every compromising situation and it just gets me more and more upset.

Ok, I’ll run through it one more time; Ok I was hiding trying to text Dele while watching Semi explain to him that I had a family emergency. Zainab walks in with Kola, I figured it won’t be long before she runs into Muhammad. I’m walking back towards the house when I hear Bolaji ask Zainab why she’s kissing Kola, then they end up kissing. This is what I have been doing in my head for the past hour while watching Bolaji and his interactions with Zainab.

An Easy Way To Soften Naturally Kinky Hair

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By Chioma Iwunze-Ibiam

I wish I’d learned about the wonders of apple cider vinegar much earlier. All those years of groaning about hard it is to manage natural kinky hair would have been different. Last week, after I’d watched a How To Grow Beautiful, Softer and Shinier Hair video on Youtube, I decided to do something different.

First, I went to a department store. I bought 50cl of honey, 50cl of Aqua Rapha yogurt  and a bottle of Safari apple cider vinegar (and the ACV was so cheap. It cost less then N200 naira).  And I made my own conditioner.

First, I put a glop of yogurt in a cup. Then, I added a few spoons of honey, two tea spoons of apple cider vinegar, one table spoonful of mayonnaise (because it contains eggs and vegetable oils) and two spoonfuls of my Henna deep conditioner. I whisked these into a thick paste and proceeded to shampoo my hair. Again, I had put a few drops of the apple cider vinegar into my bucket of water.

Then, I parted my very think full head of hair and proceeded to wash and rinse. I wrapped a towel round my wet hair, just long enough to get excess water off my hair, before I brought in my homemade conditioner.

Monday, April 22, 2013

A Sex Manual For Beginner Couples

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Missionary Position

The title of the book is the "Newlywed's Guide to Physical Intimacy" and it was written by Jewish Rabbi and sex therapist, Dvid Ribner with Orthodox researcher Jennie Rosenfeld. The manual "starts with the very basics - explaining, for example, how the body shape of men and women differs". According to the author, "Judaism regards sex as something positive, but it has become taboo to discuss it openly," which reminds me a lot of the Nigerian cultural and religious stand on sex. According to the BBC,

Ultra-Orthodox boys and girls are educated separately, and have little interaction with the opposite sex until their marriage night, when they are expected to consummate their union.

Physical touch with the opposite sex - even something like a handshake - is only permitted with one's spouse and close family members. Access to films and the internet is often restricted.

"We wanted there to be a place where people could say, 'I know nothing and I want to know something,'" says Ribner.

"Sex is only appropriate within a marital context," he says. "Beyond that it's not talked about. Because of that, it's become very difficult for people to have any kind of dialogue about it."

Different Seasons of Marriage - A Nigerian Perspective

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By Yetty Williams

Most people are aware of and have all read about the seasons of marriage and many times it is linked to the seasons of Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. The different seasons have their different characteristics and it is helpful to know what season you are currently going through in your marriage to determine what you need to do to maintain the season, get out of it or improve the outcome of the season.

Generally speaking we can agree on some common factors which are that Spring means a season of fresh or new love, eyes are starry and there is such promise for the future and love (perhaps more idealistic than realistic) is at the height. Summer is when your love is comfortable and relaxed, perhaps even heating up. Everyone is happy in the summer and you are generally in a happy place.

Fall will be when your love needs some tending so that all the branches don’t fall off in true “Fall” fashion. It can be beautiful in some parks during the fall when all the various hues of leaves have fallen on a pile, kids particularly like to kick and play in the fallen leaves. So even in fall there can be some enjoyment of the season. Lastly in the winter season the marriage can get chilly, but also if tended you can enjoy lots of cuddling moments to keep yourself warm. It doesn’t have to be an icy time.

Watch Araromire - The Figurine by Kunle Afolayan Free Online

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They say good things come to those who wait. I watched Araromire on the HiBuzz app in December 2011 after making a payment of $7 in October and enduring a couple of months of the site's technical issues. Now Aroromire is free on youtube for all those who have been waiting for it, and some of us who can't wait to see it again.

The movie is one of the two best Nigerian movies - the other is Ije [review] - I've seen in the past couple of years. This is one of the reasons other Nollywood directors have a lot of work to do to catch up, this movie is amazing. The actors are on point, the story twists and trips keeps you guessing and tense for most of the film and the end is a very satisfying. From the blurb;

Araromire is neither good nor evil; for anyone that comes in contact with her shall flourish for seven years and for another seven years that follows, Araromire becomes wrathful, unleashing terror and destruction on whoever has her in custody.

While serving at a National Youth Service Corps camp, two friends find a mystical sculpture in an abandoned shrine in the forest, and one of them decides to take the artwork home. Unknown to them, the sculpture is the same from the Yoruba goddess Araromire.

How I Make Palm Oil Bitter Leaf Soup

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I would have titled this Banga soup but I've noticed that the people to whom these named soups are supposedly native to are quite touchy when the soups are made from creative recipes different from the ones they're used to. When I was growing up, my mum would make something similar to this recipe and we would call it palm nut bitter leaf soup in Igbo which I later found was quite similar to what is called Banga. In this recipe, palm nut is replaced with palm oil.


5 pounds of beef
3 fresh peppers
1 medium sized onion
3 heaped tablespoons of crayfish
1 pack of frozen shrimp
1 pack of dried bitterleaf
1 teaspoon of mixed native soup spices
3 ladlefuls of cocoyam flour
5 ladlefuls of palm oil

Four Fruits Beneficial to Skin Care

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By Seyi Obasi

What do you know about fruits? They are healthy and provide lots of Vitamin C. They are very good for the body and do not require cooking or long processing. They help regulate our bowel movements. Did you also know that fruits are very good for our skin, and some fruits actually are cheaper alternatives to all the scrubs, masks and other chemicals we apply on our skins to look beautiful. Find below four of the most beneficial fruits for your skin, they are very popular and available in Nigeria too, and how they can help you look years younger!


Bananas are rich in Vitamin A, B and E; therefore they work as an anti-aging agent.
Mash a ripe banana and mix it with a spoonful of honey. Apply the mixture to your freshly washed face and leave for 20 to 30 minutes, then rinse off with lukewarm water.
You face will look and feel rejuvenated.


Oranges are rich in vitamin C and collagen that improves skin texture and slows the skin aging process respectively. Their astringent and toning properties help restore collagen in the body, improving skin firming and preventing early aging of skin.

The Body Glove Toughsuit Phone Case - Reviews

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My Samsung Galaxy S3 in the Body Glove Mobile
When I got my phone, the store rep emphasized to me how delicate the SIII screen is and how the large surface area makes it even more liable to being crushed. True to his word, the phone screen cracked within a couple of months, and I spent over $300 to repair it. So I was really on the lookout for a sturdier phone case to protect the quite expensive phone. This review is sponsored by the Body Glove Mobile online store who sent me a free toughsuit phone case for my Samsung Galaxy SIII.

The tough suit protection of this body glove phone case is made up of four parts:

- A transparent plastic sheet which protects the phone's glass front;
- A hard shell which protects the back, and which extends beyond the phone's front;
- A gel case which adds more protection to the front and back;
- A hard plastic holder which allows you to attach the phone to a belt