Monday, April 15, 2013

Boston Marathon Explosion: A Moment of Silence

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I was in a waiting room when the breaking news came on CNN, two explosions at the Boston Marathon. Two people were dead and about 20 injured. Every eye was glued to the TV and as each minutes passed, the number of those injured continued to rise. I went on Twitter and soon found that an 8 years old was one of those dead. Reading the clip below on the HuffPost made me even more sad.
Boston Children’s Hospital received eight patients injured at the explosion at the Boston Marathon. Patients’ conditions ranged from good to serious. There were no patient deaths among the patients brought to Boston Children’s from the scene. Our patients included:
A 9-year-old girl with leg trauma who is in the operating room.
A 42-year-old parent of a patient is being treated in the ED.
A 7-year-old boy is being treated in the ED for a minor leg injury.
A 12 year old with a femur fracture has been admitted.
A 2 year-old-boy with a head injury has been admitted to the Medical/Surgical ICU.
More on HuffPo

May the souls of those dead rest in peace, and God grant peace and healing to those injured and all their families.

Adventures of a Miss! Episode 8

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Saturday was finally here and regardless of all our issues, we all come together to help Semi prepare for her daughter’s birthday party this afternoon. I was helping with decorations, Tayo was cooking, Kehinde was running errands picking up last minute things like the cake, ice and other stuff while Semi was busy coordinating everyone else. I had just burst yet another balloon and I was running out of breathe so I decided to get a drink.

Semi: “Have you finished with the balloons, what are you doing here?”
Me: “Just so you know, we are not your hired help, we are volunteers” as I walk towards the fridge.
Tayo: “Amen to that.”
I start laughing while pouring myself a glass of water; “And this volunteer needed a glass of water.”
Tayo: “Don’t mind her, of what use are you here in the kitchen just sniffing the aroma of my food.”
Semi: “You guys are not serious oh, are you doing this for me or your darling Fiona, abegi jo.”
Tayo: “If only Fiona’s mummy wasn’t so bossy, anyways Toks, shey Muhammad is still coming today?”
Me: “Yes, I invited him on Tuesday so I believe so.”
Semi: That’s good then, no need to worry, everything will be ok.”

I went back to my decorating duties and started thinking about if the way I am handling this Zainab issue is the right way. As much as I want to empathize with her, her boldness of thinking her money can solve all her issues won’t let me. At this point, even if Bolaji broke up with me with everything that has happened, I would still go ahead with the plan because she definitely deserves it.

Overcomers Church Founder Speaks on Solomon Akiyesi

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In this video, the founder of Overcomers Church, Bishop Moses really lambasts Solomon Akiyesi's actions in fraudulently trying to marry another women while still married to another [read post]. IMO, Solomon Akiyesi is simply a love rat/scammer, and he almost got away with it with the lackadaisical attitude of this church. It is good they are standing by the women who as almost scammed into committing bigamy, she actually makes a cameo in the video. And BTW, she is not pregnant.

The video is accompanied by another statement from the church [read first one]. They have come down even harder on Solomon Akiyesi, but also express disquiet about his first wife's MO of disrupting the wedding. Well to each their own, and she was married to a Nollywood director :) Seriously though, I agree with the publicist, there are more dignified ways of stopping this wedding than seeking a public fight. Read the statement...

This is a follow up to our statement from Saturday, April 13, following the disrupted wedding of Mr. Solomon Akiyesi to Ms. Uloma Agwu.

In light of the media mayhem that has erupted with tabloids spinning their own version of events, we find it necessary to make a final statement on the matter and hope that listening ears and hearts will understand the decisions we have made as a church.

Let’s start by addressing some of the rumours that have been perpetuated on several gossip blogs and tabloids.

Mr. Akiyesi is not a member of the Overcomers Church World Outreach. We heard no word of an existing marriage to Mrs. Lilian Akiyesi.

When Are You Having Children?

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Some people keep saying how surprised they were, and still are that I came out about my infertility. For some, it's the whole religious "confess positively", which I actually understand, but by putting it out there, I believe I' getting even more positive thoughts and prayers from you guys, right? And for the others I have this following answer. It is easier to say it than to try to avoid the question and comments that almost always come when people  know you're married for up to a year.

"When are you going to have kids?"

"Are you pregnant, you look pregnant?"

"You like ice cream and chocolate? You must be pregnant!"

Atala and I celebrated four years of marriage last February, and we do not have kids. My infertility story is on this blog [read here], but on this post, I'll like to look at how  people's attitudes about marriage, pregnancy and infertility may affect women and couples trying to concieve via ART, IVF, or building their family through adoption

I want to talk about the unrelenting questions and insinuations childless women receive and how much it can hurt, confuse and pressure their marriages and the decisions they make.

What Chimamanda Really Meant About African Hair

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Chimamanda made some comments about hair the same day I published the post about texlaxing my hair for easier management. I decided not to join issues with her comments, which she's of course entitled to, but to focus on my own hair and what works for me. Some other bloggers not only reported on the comments, they embellished it with their own biases and raised a firestorm on FB and Twitter against Chimamanda. To the extent that she had to respond in an article titled ‘Of course I never said African women with Brazilian hair have low self-esteem. That’s absurd’. Read more...

Please read my interview with the Observer to know what I did say. I love my hair, its kinky and dense and coily. I love playing with it, trying hair butters and oils, wearing corn rows and afros. But sometimes I get tired of it and want a break. So I add extensions. I like extensions, but I always look for extensions that look like my hair. For me, the best compliment for extensions is the question: is it your hair?

Many of us say our natural hair is too hard, too difficult. But that’s because we weren’t taught how to care for our hair.  (I have discovered the wonders of coconut, castor, shea, even honey for softening hair. Trick is add it when your hair is wet! You get wonderful softness!)

Relaxers are not about softness. They are really about texture. Otherwise there are ways to soften hair without permanently changing the texture of hair.

Of course African women don’t want to be white, but we live in a world where the mainstream idea of beauty is straight hair. Magazines, films, popular culture all show straight hair as ideal. My cousin wears a wig to the gym because she says her natural hair underneath is too ‘ugly.’

More Ways Of Meeting New Poeple

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I earlier listed some ways of meeting potential dates in the morning here, the following tips are not limited to mornings or evening, but general places and means of adding new people, especially those who may be eligible to date, to your social circle.

1.  - connections here start online based on a shared interest and is usually taken offline. You can either start your own meetup, or join one for singles in your area. I currently belong to 3 meetup groups - book club, women nights out, and professional.

2. Free events - Google free events in your city and go there and speak to new people. When I lived in Edinburgh, there were tons of free castle and museum visit days or weekends, and stuff like that.

3. Volunteer - Look up some charities and see which of their events you can join up with. You can also start a fund raising drive for your favorite orphanage or a cause close to your heart. These kinds of activities get you out there, and who knows the fat-pocketed single you'll run into?

4. Alum Events - Look for your college or university alum group in your current city and see if they have any events coming up which you can fit into your schedule. One guarantee, all the guys there will have a degree, and you can both reminisce about your school and your times there.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Yemisax and Shola Durojaiye's Introduction Photos

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Nigerian Saxophonist, Yemi Sax, proposed to his girlfriend, Shola, about a couple of weeks ago, and they're not dilly dallying at all. They carried out the marriage introduction this weekend according to Yoruba custom at the bride to be's family house. Enjoy the pictures.

Happy Birthday to My Wonderful Father

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My family in Nigeria just finished celebrating my daddy's 80th birthday. It is also my sister's birthday who shares the same birth month as my Dad. I miss him and all of them so much today especially. My dad is just the absolute best Dad. Of course with my bone-head, we had our issues, but I knew he was always there, and that helped make me the woman I am today.

My daddy had his dreams for me, but at the end of the day, he was also the sort of father that allowed you to live your life. I thank God for the amazing years He's given you so far and I pray for even more happy, healthy, and fulflilled years. Amen. Thank you, Daddy, and happy birthday.

Statement from the Church on Solomon Akiyesi Wedding

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The church where Nollywood actor, Solomon Akiyesi attempted to marry another woman while still legally married [read initial story] is the Overcomers World Outreach, and to show they were not flouting the law, they have responded to the incident with an official statement. The writer, Chika Moses, is a journalist and the daughter ofthe General Overseer of the Overcomers Church, Bishop N.E. Moses. [see his video]

She writes well and moderately, but no need to call into question the timing of the first wife, what if she just heard about the wedding at the last minute? I do pity the second wife, but if she has been married traditionally as is usually the case, then she is legit in the customary side. As for the would-be bigamist, I saw his FB note, no wrds SMH. As they say, age is no indicator of maturity, and going to church is no determinant to knowing to do what is right.

What was meant to be a day of celebration – the wedding ceremony of one of our members Uloma Agwu to Mr. Solomon Akiyesi at the Overcomers Church World Outreach in Aguda – was sullied by an ugly incident. Immediately following the praise and worship session and before the officiating commenced, a woman who claims to be the lawful wife of the groom disrupted the ceremony. She was accompanied by people who sought only to wreck havoc in the church. They were unruly and violent.

We regret the ugly series of events that followed this brash display. At the Overcomers Church, we do our due diligence to ensure a couple set to wed is right in the eyes of the law and in the eyes of God. To the best of our knowledge, Mr. Akiyesi, was unmarried. The Overcomers Church World Outreach regrets that the woman who disrupted the wedding chose such a time to do so. There is no ideal situation here, but it would have been right that she bring the case before church officials in a manner befitting a house of worship. This was not the case.

Where to Meet Potential Dates in the Morning

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This came as a search query and was taken to the post I wrote on meeting potential dates online and offline here. I decided to take it up and list some specific places to hang out in order to meet dates. I guess the person searching specified morning hours as opposed to the evening or night, as those are easier with bars and parties. But morning hours are not ruled out for meeting a potential date. Check out the following tips, and add yours too.

The most important thing is wherever you end up, keep your eyes peeled and a smile on your face. Also, you have to be sure to only hang out in places where a potential date who shares that interest will be to your liking. Landing a date with a bookish type at the library will not work out in the long run if you're the run in the park type.

1. Coffeeshops - In the US, starbucks are ubiquitious, like 2 for every block here in the Seattle area. Drop by for your pre-work cappuccino or for a mid-morning snack.

2. Parks - Maybe it's time to take up jogging or running. Do it at your local park, or along the streets in your area if they're safe enough. You can also just hang out, when summer comes, with a book and drink, or invite friends for a picnic.