Thursday, April 30, 2020

My Toxic Relationship Limit: When Things Aren’t Getting Better

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Toxic relationships are more common than most people realize because some of the behaviors exhibited have been viewed as “normal” for far too long. But you know your relationship and your partner better than anyone. If things just don’t feel like they used to, and you don’t feel like yourself, it could be a major red flag.

There are different signs of toxic relationships to be aware of, and they come in different forms. Maybe your partner is sweet most of the time but verbally abusive when they get angry. Maybe they always want you to change your plans or point of view to meet theirs.

Whatever the case, if things aren’t getting better, it’s important to know what you can do to find yourself again, and to stay safe. In some cases, that might be something as simple as telling your partner how you feel or setting limits. In others, when your safety is at risk, you might need to leave the relationship, altogether.
What Are the Signs of a Toxic Relationship?
It’s important to not let yourself fall victim to thinking certain behaviors are acceptable in a relationship. Think about how your partner makes you feel. Toxicity within a relationship can cause feelings of:

  • Low self-esteem
  • Low self-worth
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Nervousness
  • Physical symptoms like headaches or nausea

Being in a toxic relationship with someone isn’t just about playing up the whole “bad boy meets good girl” trope. It can be dangerous to your mental and physical health. Some of the most common signs of an unhealthy relationship include:

  • “Keeping score” of past mistakes and bringing them up frequently during conversation
  • Passive aggressiveness
  • Threatening the relationship because of a complaint (ie: I can’t be with someone who doesn’t want to sleep with me every night)
  • Blaming you for their negative emotions
  • Jealousy
  • Constant judgment
  • A lack of trust
  • All take and no give

The list could really go on because there are so many differences in toxic relationships. The underlying “theme” is that they all create a hostile environment that can leave you feeling unsafe, disrespected, and unloved. In some extreme cases, they can lead to emotional and physical abuse, which can cause lasting damage to your mental and physical health.

Where Should You Go From Here?
If you are being abused in any way, your safety should be your top priority. Talking to a counselor, social worker, nurse, or doctor can help you to make the best choices for yourself when it comes to the next steps in your relationship. Being able to talk to a professional who will keep your confidentiality can give you a sense of much-needed comfort. People in these professions have seen these situations before, and they can give you some guidance as to the steps you should take to protect yourself — even if that means leaving the relationship.

In some cases, toxic relationships may be able to turn around. But, if your partner isn’t willing to change, you have to consider your mental health and how important it is. If you are being abused, for example, it can do harm to more than just your body. Studies have shown that women who have been victims of domestic violence are 2.5 times more likely to have depressive disorders, which can lead to needing counseling or medication like Trintellix.

Would you consider your relationship hostile? Do you feel less like yourself when you’re around your partner or are you constantly walking on eggshells around them? Though it can be difficult to hear, that isn’t the way a loving relationship should be. Set limits for yourself and follow through with them, so you can find the happiness you deserve — even if it means being on your own!


Image Source: Unsplash

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