Thursday, July 18, 2019

Do not Allow Substance Abuse to Destroy Your Relationship

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You may find it hard to admit that substance abuse can override almost everything, even the deepest feelings of love. When dealing with an addiction, your cravings are so bad that you tend to ignore how much you hurt your partner.

Like any addiction, drug or alcohol abuse starts slowly. At first, it doesn’t disrupt your life, it makes you happier and more relaxed, at times it even improves your relationship for a short period. But then, as the cravings start growing the substance becomes your priority and you kind of forget about the love feelings you have for your partner.

How does your addiction affect your relationship? It all starts with the effects it has on your personality, any substance abuse tends to alter your personality and your loved ones feel they no longer know who you are.

Here is a detailed description of how substance abuse can harm your relationship. Make sure you don’t end up there.

Substance abuse leads to trust issues

People tend to lie to hide their addictions because they are aware that their partners would disapprove their behaviour. As your addiction will progress, you will have to come up with elaborate stories to cover the times you consume substances or to excuse your actions. In the beginning, they won’t question your statements, but as your addiction will grow they will notice you are using more and more excuses to get home late, disappear from family reunions and other important events, for lack of money, and for the alcohol bottles or other substances hidden around the house. No doubt, they will find out that you are lying to them and these episodes will create tension and lead to trust issues.

As you already know all great relationships base on trust, and once damaged it you will find hard to repair it. Your numerous excuses, and strange behaviour can even make your partner think you are cheating and they may feel jealous. Fear and jealousy are other feelings that can disrupt a relationship. If you are not honest with your partner and you don’t properly communicate you can reach a point when both of you feel sad, isolated and resentful.

Addictions greatly affect relationships

Addictions negatively affect relationships because sober spouses are also feeling the associated side effects. Most of the times substance abuse also causes financial problems, issues that can take a toll on a relationship. When one of the partners abuses alcohol or drugs, certain problems can arise between them and their spouse. Jealousy, stress, financial problems, unplanned pregnancy, violence, infidelity, conflict and divorce are only some of the most common.

Substance addiction doesn’t affect only the one who is consuming but also their partner. Most of the times the sober partner’s personality is also altered. It’s common for the spouses of addicted people to support their bad habits. At the start, the sober spouse will probably make excuses for their loved one trying to minimise their acts’ consequences or accept blame. To avoid conflicting situations they may even deny the signs. Co-dependency is often a cause of marital problems. They will neglect their own needs and wants, put their happiness second, and try to overcompensate for the problems their partner is creating. They will take a hero role to protect and help their loved one.

Being in a relationship with an addicted is more than difficult, but recovery is always possible and it can have a positive effect on relationships. The specialists from advise sober spouses to help their partners get into a recovery centre to seek help because it’s the most effective way to save their relationship. It’s important for them to realise that only a healthy relationship can support their progress, any other situation will most likely end in a separation.

Substance abuse leads to financial troubles

Alcohol and drugs are not free, and even if people should always make budget allowances for entertainment purposes, ongoing substance abuse can determine people to spend more than they afford. No one can deny that substance abuse can cause financial issues and not only because of the money spend to buy drugs and alcohol, but also because they are at risk to lose their job.

Substance abuse can affect your productivity. You can lose your job because you no longer perform as expected. Presenteism and absenteeism are some of the most common termination triggers for the employees who are dealing with alcohol problems.

When under influence your inhibitors are not properly functioning and you are more likely to make purchases without considering your budget. For example, if you are a heavy drinker you will probably spend more than you plan when going out. And if you think that drinking at home will protect you from purchases at the moment, we have bad news, you have access to the internet, so nothing can stop you. An extra glass of wine can make a product look more attractive and useful than it actually is.

Financial trouble can also arise because you are more likely to suffer from health problems when you abuse substances and you have to cover medical bills. Most of the couples rely on a monthly income to cover their expenses, and when one of the partners makes unplanned expenses their financial stability is shaken.

They not only spend money they should use for other purposes, but they also forget to make payments in time that can result in penalties and late fees. Sometimes they can even lose some benefits, as their accommodation because they forget to pay for it, or they no longer afford it.

Because substance addiction influences their personality, they can also get involved in other negative activities like gambling and partying that also imply spending huge amounts of money.

Rehab treatment is the best solution to stop all these problems. Even if it requires spending money, it’s an important step in helping people recover their sobriety and personality. Once they are healthy and start working again, they can come up with solutions for the problems they are dealing with, and marital happiness can be restored.

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