Wednesday, March 6, 2019

Don't Scare away the Guys, Quit being a Nice Girl!

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We have all heard of the online phenomena known as "Nice Guys". For these are the sort of men that scroll through the forums of Reddit, speaking with other men about how they cannot find a girlfriend, often cursing women and good looking men (aka. Chads) in general and sometimes going as far as to holding a "Black Pill" Mentality, namely the notion that female preference has nothing to do with a man's personality and instead fully focuses on their appearance.
Whilst these sort of men usually are either confined to the internet, there are a few who will reach out to women either through social media or by randomly approaching them in public. Should you reject any of their romantic advances then be prepared to be barraged with a stream of endless verbal insults. Their mentality lies in the fact that as they offered you respect and romantic gestures, you now owe them the same in return.

These sort of men are quite easy to avoid, however, did you know that the "Nice Guy" mentality is not just for certain types of lonely men? "Nice Girls" can be just as problematic as "Nice Guys," however they can be even more emotionally draining or vengeful if you reject their advances. Always be aware of them and, if you find yourself fitting into any of their characteristics, you may want to rethink your romantic strategy through a few more times. Self-awareness is always the first step to improving yourself!

What is Nice Girl?

A Nice Girl isn't the sort of woman who generally is understanding, kind and respectful to her partners, like a Good Girlfriend or some London Escorts, instead the sort of behaviour that comes from a Nice Girl is extremely toxic. She will have unusually high expectations in regards to her love life and tend to feel dismayed if she does not catch the interest of all of the men that she is interested in.

Whilst this may not sound bad, having to talk to a Nice Girl can change from one minute being a friendly conversation about your day to suddenly being asked out to only be barraged with verbal harassment should you reject her advances. A Nice Girl will not only insult your masculinity but your choices in women. She may post about you on her social media or, worse still, start to spam women in your own social media feed, such as friends on your facebook, with warnings to stay away from you.

The other mentality of the nice girl is that "Nice Girls always Finish last." This is when they will post about how good of a person they truly are, only to be rejected time and time again by the men they interact with. However, this fails to mention the men who have been genuinely interested in her but she has rejected their advances due to her own high standards. This is most likely due to their physical appearances, such as their height or weight. This hypocritical mentality has sparked off Reddit Users alike to comment on nice girls posts to point out the contradiction. For instance, Reddit User "Paradoism" sarcastically stated on a Nice Girl post that

"It's not about the guy being nice. It's about him being taller than 6 feet. It's a pretty normal request. Just like when guys say that they want their girl to have at least 36DD boobs. Most normal thing in the world. Not shallow at all."

You will usually be able to distinguish between an actually nice-hearted woman and a nice girl by how quickly they "fall in love" with you or demand romantic affection. If you find that a woman is quickly becoming obsessed with you and those you associate with, then you may be interacting with a nice girl. If a woman crudely lashes out at you for rejecting her advances then the best thing that you can do is stop corresponding with her in general. Silence always infuriates a nice girl but it will at least stop you from saying something that you regret. You do not need to get mixed up in a nice girl's drama. Just take a step back and let her move on. You may get endlessly spammed with text or social media messages, but she will eventually lose steam and move on with her life.

Why do Nice Girls act like this?

When it comes to defining the reason behind a Nice Girl's mentality, there can be a number of reasons why they lash out. No one likes rejection and once you get used to a high number of them then it can become a disheartening process to hear "no" again. That is why they may act on the emotion and simply insult you to try and make themselves feel better, especially if they make it known to you that they have a high number of men who are after them, and that they only asked you out because they felt "sorry" for you.

Pride is a dangerous thing when it comes to meeting a Nice Girl. After all, they see themselves as practically untouchable creatures that only the best of men (or other women) deserve. As a result, they may become extremely emotional when they are rejected, letting you know that they are the best you will ever get and even going to the extent of insulting your taste in women in general.

On the other end of the scale lies the lack of self-confidence. Those who feel shy, embarrassed or hold low opinions of themselves may become obsessive or attached to their latest crush, texting them constantly and becoming easily aggravated when the object of their affections does not immediately respond to them. These sort of girls struggle to take no for an answer and may even resort to emotional manipulation to try and get you to date them. Never let a woman pull on your feelings by saying that they will harm themselves if you do not date them. This is extremely abusive behaviour and is only guaranteed to continue if you allow it to have a hold over you.

Overall, the mentality of a nice girl is extremely complex and you may actually encounter different forms of her, depending on the sort of woman you are talking with in general. Whether she is aggressive or clingy, you have to realise that these are all toxic behaviours that throw a number of red flags out into the open. If you indulge in toxic behaviour then that will only allow it to continue. Do not let this happen and instead be respectful when letting the "nice-girl" down. Whilst they may not hold the respect needed to maintain a friendship with you, you can at least end the conversation knowing that you did the right thing.

Avoiding a Nice Girl

There is nothing wrong with people making a few mistakes when it comes to romance. These are pretty common and some people will get angry at the other for their shortcomings. This is natural. However, what is not natural is for a woman to ask you out, only for her to verbally insult and swear at you once you reject her. It is also not appropriate for her to send you any unsolicited nudes. After all, she did not get your consent. If men need to ask for consent then the same must apply for women.

If you, unfortunately, end up meeting a nice girl, for the majority of them may seem extremely nice to start with, the best thing that you can do is not add any fuel to her fire. She is operating under the mentality that men owe her romance and will most likely not take no for an answer. Should you insult her then this will just give her ammunition to label you as the "bad guy" of the situation. The best thing for you to do is to simply relax and not reply to her messages. You must remain kind whilst rejecting her, but if she starts to become abusive then you are well within your right to either ignore her or block her.

Should your nice girl approach you in public then make sure that you are with a group of your friend and that you are not alone. Do not make fun of her and try to remain calm even if she is irate. You simply need to make your point clear that you do not appreciate her attitude and that you would like her to leave you alone. If she does not comply with this then speak with the nearest source of authority, such as a lecturer if this happens in university or a security guard. If worst comes to worst then you can call the police or file a restraining order on your potential stalker or harasser.

Are you a Nice Girl?

Perhaps you have read this and suddenly had a horrifying epiphany that you hold some of the traits of a nice girl! You may have just taken a rejection very badly or unfortunately passive aggressively posted a status on facebook talking about the behaviour of a crush. But do not worry, chances are is that you are not as bad some of the nice girls that can be found within the posts on Reddit.

When it comes to finding the perfect partner, you need to remember that whilst someone may reject you, there will always be a number of other potential partners just waiting for you to speak with them. Do not let your emotions overtake you in the heat of the moment. Yes, you may be feeling angry about being let down, but at the end of the day, you will only feel embarrassed in the future when you look back and take stock of how you acted towards people. There is nothing wrong with emotional venting to your close friends and loved ones. Just try not to explode in public or on the Crush themselves. This can only lead to you damaging your reputation. Think before you act.

Love is Not Quick or Easy

If you are the sort of person to fall in love quickly, or are someone who is experiencing the attachment of an overly-obsessed woman, then it is time for you to take a moment and step back to take stock of the situation. Is it really worth losing a potential friend over the fact that you may have a Crush on them? If you think that they do not deserve you then do not verbally lash this out at them. Instead, be the bigger person and step away from the conversation. If they do not deserve you then find someone else who will.

At the end of the day, Romance is about respect between two partners. There is a trust and connection between them that makes them bond together. If you feel like you have to emotionally exploit or blackmail any potential partners, especially over social media, then clearly you are looking in the wrong place for a romantic encounter. Be the bigger person and avoid them becoming the true nightmare that is known as a Nice-Girl!

Content Writer: Hannah Fletcher

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