Tuesday, August 14, 2018

How To Stay In Love

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Falling in love is always a delicious surprise.Meeting the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with can often happen in a strange and mysterious way.

It could happen at a cocktail party when you look up from your conversation and see her huddled with another group. It could happen on the first day of a new job when you bump into her in the breakroom. Or it could happen when a new client walks into your office and it just happens to be your ideal woman.

Naturally, when serendipity strikes, you feel disoriented, suddenly thrust in an unfamiliar world. Before you know it, you get swept up on a whirlwind of dates. Then you’re picking out a Barkev's engagement ring. Then you’re getting married and everyone is crying. Then you’re on a honeymoon and the future looks luminous.  Then you’re furnishing your new apartment or house while still trying to remain sensible enough to go to work and practical enough to buy groceries.

How Do You Know She is the One? 

Your heart appears to know before you do--you feel a constant sense of excitement, you feel as giddy as an adolescent on your first date, you feel intense anxiety.
There are many other signs, of course, but usually, the first few signs are emotional and overwhelming. Later your mind tries to catch up and you come up with a list of reasons.
Sometimes, too, reality itself appears to conspire on your behalf, arranging things to happen in just the right way at just the right time. You happen to meet through a series of coincidences. Your first date appears to go surprisingly well. And both of you always seem to manage to arrange spending quality time together despite your busy work schedules.

How to Create a Wonderful Relationship

Unfortunately, the thrill of romance and ease of living has a time limit.  It may take weeks or months before you realize that you are two distinct people with divergent needs. Despite your love and affection, conflicts arise.
It is at this point that the real relationship begins. After the illusions you had about your true love are swept away, you begin to see them as they really are rather than how you imagined them to be. How you manage things from now on will determine if the relationship will last.

Create a Supportive Environment

The most important aspect of a relationship is trust, and the way to foster trust is to make it safe to speak up and be heard.
If you find yourself in an argument, learn to listen and don’t interrupt, rushing to defend your point-of-view. If the argument arose because of something you did or failed to do, then apologize.
If, on the other hand, the argument arose because of something your partner did, avoid the temptation to act with righteous anger and indignation. Instead, practice compassion.
If both of you work with these ground rules, you will create a supportive environment to sort out differences in opinion.

Recognize your Own Immaturity

Only people who have been married for years and who have learned how to adapt to the other person’s maddening idiosyncrasies can be said to be mature. Everyone else is still trying to figure it all out.
What we know about relationships is often based on what we learned from how our parents got along with each other, or what we picked up from a romantic movie, or what we read in a book or blog post, or what someone told us about their relationship.
Understanding that you are still learning will allow you to be patient and humble. Marital conflicts are difficult to resolve when we think we know what is going on. In truth, we don’t actually understand what is going on within us nor why the other person is behaving the way they do.
In conclusion, it’s essential to understand that there are many phases in a relationship. Initially, there is the stage when the other person can do no wrong. Then there is the phase when you are forced to deal with your disillusionment. Finally, you must face up to your own immaturity about what a relationship should be like and learn to accept and love the other person just the way they are.







1 comment:

  1. This is really interesting, easy to understand and practice.

    ReplyDelete

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