Thursday, July 5, 2018

How to Meet the Right Person For You

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The world of dating can often be confusing and one of the most frustrating things is when you feel like you're doing absolutely everything you can to find someone, but not feeling the connection that you should feel when you're talking to 'the one'. There are lots of different ways to improve your chances and to help invite someone into your life who is going to improve it, and hopefully will be a person you can grow with in the future.

It's incredibly important to find the right person for you, instead of settling into an underwhelming or unhealthy relationship, which is something that is extremely easy when you have been single for an extended period of time. Almost everyone will have had the experience of a bad relationship or a bad breakup, and the negative effects of these are obvious to anyone in that situation. One of the most important things before getting into a healthy relationship is to make sure you are comfortable being alone; if you aren't content with yourself then your standards for a relationship will instantly be lower.

If you don't first realize your own worth, then you're far more likely to date someone who doesn't give you the full respect you deserve, because you don't know how to be happy without someone else's validation. Once you know who you are, and what you want from life, then it will be much easier for you to meet a person that will be the right fit for you and hopefully support and grow with you into the future, and when you are ready, there are a few things you can do to increase your chances.

Take Risks

The phrase 'nothing ventured, nothing gained' is appropriate here. You know how it feels when you are walking along the street and lock eyes with someone and, in your head, you are wondering what kind of wedding you would have? Well, most of us don't act on that and walk away feeling like we've missed out on an opportunity that might've changed us if we were just brave enough to talk to that attractive stranger. It can be difficult to do this, as nobody wants to come across as weird, or even rude, and the thought of rejection usually puts us off flirting with anyone - let alone a stranger. But if you push past that fear, and approach the person in an appropriate way, maybe complimenting their outfit or their look, you might find that they respond positively and a conversation will ensue. If you find that you don't click, or the person turns you down for whatever reason, then you haven't lost anything and you can walk away knowing that you have probably made that person's day; who doesn't love being complimented either way?

The only thing to note when taking risks is that you shouldn't force it. If you get into a conversation with someone and aren't feeling engaged or excited by them, then you don't have to continue with them - it is just as important to know when to back away when you are looking for your soulmate. The only thing you are doing by approaching others is giving yourself more options. Whether you sit next to someone at a bar, buy a stranger a coffee or simply tell that guy across the street that his hair looks really cool, all you are really aiming to do is to open dialogue and make connections with people that you didn't consider to be in your dating pool before.


Use dating apps

This is one that many people are afraid of, but dating apps actually have a lot of benefits - the main one being that their only function is to help people meet a potential future partner. This means that they are designed in a way that is most efficient to do that, so if you are a busy person that doesn't have time to hang around coffee shops or bars, then you still have options. Another benefit is that when you are talking to someone, it is usually because you have 'liked' each other, and so there is a higher chance that you will get along because you already know a few things about each other and decided that their interests worked well with yours. A lot of dating apps now link to social media accounts such as Instagram, so you can look at what they are interested in and see if you have any shared hobbies. Essentially, everything is designed in order for you to find that perfect fit, you can even set destination preferences, so if you are holidaying in Hawaii but dating in New York, then you can still make connections and chat, and then meet up when you're home. Many people are worried that dating apps are full of fake accounts or people that aren't interested in anything long-term, but if you give it a go, you will find that most of them are the same as you - genuinely looking to find a new relationship that will go the distance.

Try new things

This one might seem like a cliché but it's overused for a reason. When you go to a new fitness class or join a new book group, you are walking into a room of people that have at least one interest in common with you, making it a lot easier to strike up a conversation. Not to mention that you are increasing your options, which is a sure fire way to increase the chances of meeting a person that you will instantly click with. You are also likely to find new friends in whatever hobby you pursue, killing two birds with one stone. Trying out something you have always wanted to is another way to take care of yourself, spending a little time to pursue something new is an instant relaxer and gives you more opportunity to grow, which is equally as important as looking for a partner. Giving yourself time to learn a new skill will make you feel better about yourself because you can set goals and, when you achieve them, your confidence will skyrocket, giving you higher standards for a partner too. It is easy to find something you are interested in, and if not, there are ways of discovering what you might find exciting or entertaining.

Consider what you need in a relationship

Every relationship is different, and that is because everyone is looking for something different in a partner, which will affect who you date. The most important things are trust, mutual respect, and support, but each individual will have nuances that will decide whether they are compatible with you or not. These are often personality-based, such as how 'touchy-feely' they are, what kind of humor they like, what kind of work ethic they have etc... You are likely to have an opinion on all of these things, even if you don't know it, and it's important to have a think about them before you look for a partner. Whilst there is no hard and fast rule, and something that might be an issue with one person may not matter in the next, it is still a good guideline to follow. If you wouldn't be friends with the person, then you probably shouldn't date them in the long term because the attraction you are feeling is superficial and might fade after you realize that you don't actually enjoy each other's company. It's all about looking at yourself and deciding what you need and want. For example, a lot of couples enjoy being very romantic and openly 'cheesy' with each other, whereas some people would find that a complete turn-off, and if a couple doesn't agree on that, it could be an issue when they interact with each other.

How to know if you've found them...

So, you have been in a relationship with your partner for a while now and things are serious - how do you know if they are the right one for you? The answer is fairly simple: you will feel content. You shouldn't be worrying about your partner's faithfulness, or get annoyed by the way they eat their food. This is not to say that there won't be struggles or arguments; it's healthy to disagree but, on a normal day, you should only be feeling joy when you are with them. Whether it is because they buy your favorite flowers as a surprise or cook you dinner without your asking them, every action should be done to support each other and make each other happy, whilst also growing as a couple. You should feel a mutual respect and love when you talk to each other and, hopefully, be having lots of fun. Laughter is a good measure because it means that your partner is having a positive impact on your life, instead of taking things from you without giving anything back. In the end, it is about looking at yourself and asking what you want, and making sure that person fits in that bracket, and that you feel loved, not just desired.







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