Monday, September 11, 2017

The Two Most Preventable Marriage Killers

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Finding a family law attorney isn’t on the list of things to do for couples in healthy, happy marriages. Such marriages provide a supportive environment for both individuals as well as any children the couple may have. These environments are peaceful spaces—both literally and figuratively, in the sense of being emotional safe havens—offering serenity and security; however, the stability they provide can be marred from time to time and if left unchecked, it can lead to problems down the road that could have just as easily been avoided.

Couples blessed to have enjoyed long marriages and those on their way to receiving the same blessing can probably attest to their successful unions being the result of hard, ongoing work. Their marriages have been built one “love brick” at a time. With a foundation of mutual understanding and respect, strong unions have been born. Even so, no marriage is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, so inevitably the most perfect mate will “mess up.” Minor issues can usually be disregarded, while more serious ones should be stopped immediately before they develop any further. When serious issues aren’t nipped in the bud, they can eventually result in a couple’s finding a family law attorney to help them iron out the thorny issues of family law in order to obtain a no-fault divorce. Their objective is that the attorney will aid them in working together for, hopefully, the most peaceful and amicable dissolution possible.

Here are two of the most prevalent reasons for a divorce: abuse and finances, or money-related problems.

Domestic Abuse: When There’s a Monster in the Home

When you typically think of domestic abuse, or domestic violence, going on in a household you think of the physical kind of abuse, in which one partner—although it’s not uncommon for both partners to be involved in such altercations—physically assaults the other by slapping, shoving and other means of direct contact and physical intimidation. That is certainly one kind, but the other kinds include verbal and sexual abuse as well as perhaps more insidious kinds like emotional abuse. The excuses given for such, really inexcusable, behavior sadly may include, in the case of a wife, being pressured by family members to “stay with him” and keep the family unit together. A person’s religion may be invoked as a cause for staying put as well.

Wise marital partners stop all forms of relational abuse before they progress. If counseling or other forms of help don’t work and the abuse continues, leading the abuse victim with no choice but to seek an end to the marriage, they should be smart about how they go about doing it. Their safety should be their No. 1 priority, and it should definitely be accompanied by a backup plan that includes a network of their trusted friends and family members who could readily protect them, according to Clinton Power, a relationship counselor and the founder of Clinton Power & Associates.

When It’s About Money … and It’s Not Good

Couples fighting over money now seems like a well-worn cliché. As trite as it may be, such disputes represent a key reason that spouses decide to go their separate ways, and in relationships in general it represents the foremost source of stress for couples, according to a 2015 survey from SunTrust Bank. It is therefore, unquestionably, a huge problem and one that spouses should not shy away from. In fact, it is the shying away that has contributed to making the money issue in relationships even bigger. The reason is that in many marriages, a spouse may decide to buy something and not tell their other half. They may even squirrel away tons of purchases—adding up to hundreds of dollars or more—or cash or even debit and credit card accounts without letting the other spouse know. If this is surprising to you, then it is not to many, since millions of Americans are guilty of doing it. Sadly, when such behavior comes to light, it can cause many rifts, some of them irresolvable. Nothing should be hidden in a marriage.

Happy marriages are built on total honesty, in every way. When spouses have frank, transparent conversations about money issues, such as topics about debt owed like student loan payments, they can work together to build a sound budget to pay for their expenses and plan wisely for the future. Other issues that may be the culprit for any stealth activity should also be discussed for the peace of the home.

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