Tuesday, June 13, 2017

What Makes A Proposal Truly Special?

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There’s a lot of pressure on proposing, nowadays. There has always been that nervousness, that leap that you have to get right with. But people are bending over backward to make proposals bigger and more special than the last person. Any many of them are doing it to the detriment of what should be a beautiful moment, even to the point that the proposal becomes an embarrassment more than anything. So, what is it that truly makes it something you and your future wife will always look on fondly?

The ring matters
Let’s get this out of the way. A ring is more than a bit of jewelry. It signifies a lot more than that. It signifies how much you value her, it signifies the worth you’re willing to put into making an official mark of your commitment. Getting the tiniest band of gold with a tiny diamond isn’t just frugal. Consider that it might actually be embarrassing for her to show that around. This doesn’t mean you have to spend a quarter of your annual earnings, of course. You can get a 2 carat diamond ring, the second highest quality available, at a much better price than retailers offer if you source it from the right place. Just think about how she will feel looking at it and the fact that she might like to feel a little proud in how you value her.
Show you know her
If you want to marry a woman, then having an intimate knowledge of what she likes and what’s important to her is an important thing to have. Make a gesture that shows that connection, a proposal idea like incorporating her tastes like putting the ring in her favorite book or taking her to a place that has meaning to both of you. It’s a big signifier to her that you are the one paying attention, you are the one who gets her.

Have something heartfelt to say
Don’t let the ring and the method do all the talking for you, either. You might not necessarily be the kind of guy who’s always able to verbally express his emotions. But now is the time. Preparing a speech might be daunting, so take your time over it. There are a lot of prompts you can build off, of course. You can think of memories that have specific value to you, why you’re thankful to have her, even the moment you realized you wanted to marry her. Don’t copy a statement verbatim off the internet. Your lady deserves to know why you think she’s the one you want to spend your life with. Don’t cheat her out of that. Just don’t go on for too long, either. No-one needs an hour’s speech before they get to make their answer.
Public or private: very important
This is something that you’re going to need some help with. In fact, you might want to get her opinion directly. Some women swoon at the idea of a man making himself publicly vulnerable and making the big gesture. Some would rather have the moment shared between the two without worrying about the public reaction to it. How do you find out which side of the coin your loved one sits on if you don’t already know? Well, at some point or another, you’re going to have the opportunity to see someone else get engaged. A friend might tell her about it or there might be something on your Facebook feed that you can show her. Gauge her reaction by leaving out your own inoffensive opinion on the proposal. Her reaction to your reaction will be the sure-fire answer of public vs. private that you need. It’s important to consider what’s more important in the proposal too, how you want to do it vs. how she would like to be proposed to. Common sense would indicate that, as a question and a matter of communication, you want to do it in the way that’s most likely to be effective for the one you’re communicating to.

Get the timing right
We’re not just talking about the big factors of timing a proposal. Yes, you want to be in a stable relationship where you’re not in a state of competing with love rivals or dealing with a turbulent time in her life. You want peace and love before you put the ring-shaped seal on it. But also consider the actual timing of the day. For instance, do not propose after she’s had an argument with her sister on the phone, even if that’s what you had planned. Don’t do it after a hard day of work, either. Be mindful of her mood.

If there’s any lesson to take away here, it’s that you should always go for emotion over extravagance. Surprise, the right location, a gorgeous ring, and even a little pomp can go a long away in building up that emotion so she feels truly valued. But don’t put the cart before the horse. It’s that sense of value you want more than anything.

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