Wednesday, May 17, 2017

The Most Preposterous Reasons Your Partner Isn’t Affectionate To You Anymore

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By Aaron Abel

In a world with so many things that can push you towards depression, it can be very harmful for the mind to constantly worry about things that many times aren’t even genuine concerns. But our minds have a way of planting stories and possibilities in such a way that we become borderline paranoid of what’s going on. That’s why sometimes it’s a good idea to lighten the mood and laugh about our problems. In that sense, here are some of the most ridiculous reasons for which your partner might not be affectionate towards you anymore. So if you’re ready, here it goes:
They’re a zombie
A zombie virus has started spreading and your partner was unfortunately one of the first victims.  The reason why they aren’t so affectionate towards you anymore is because they don’t see you as a person anymore. Now, for them you are nothing more than walking brains. If you’re into the whole zombie apocalypse thing be sure to check out these 10 best post apocalyptic books.
They’re a spy/secret agent
Your entire relationship was based on a lie. Much like that movie with the former governor of California, you have come to a point where your love and their mission aren’t on the same course. They have clearly made their choice, as the good of the entire country is resting in their hands. Surely you can understand why there have been less cuddles as of late.
They’re only a figment of your imagination
It was all a lie the whole time. It’s one that you have elaborately fabricated inside your head since you’ve been off your meds. If you really want them to love you as passionately as they did in the beginning, why not just make it happen?
They’ve been abducted
Aliens are real. More than that, aliens have kidnapped your partner, performed terrible experiments on them and took away their ability to show deep, meaningful affection. What you see before you is nothing more than an empty husk. The core of their being is locked away in some alien vault for the space invaders to play with on the weekends.
So there you have it, these are the top things that might have happened without you ever knowing or realizing, that could have played a hand in your partner’s reduced signs of affection. While life is not always fun and giggles, we can definitely take a few minutes out of our time to laugh about it and just turn a frown upside down. But one a more serious note,  you should try mentioning “brains” in passing just to see if they get a weird grin on their face and if their eyes go white.

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