Tuesday, September 29, 2015

How To Attract the Right Person On Social Media - Be Yourself!

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By Nkem Akinsoto

Every day we hear of couples who get married after meeting each other online and on social media. Whether Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or simply private messaging forums and even blogs, all have registered several romances that end in marriage or some kind of long-term relationship.

A few days ago, news of the traditional wedding between two Nigerians who met on Twitter swept the blogosphere. Oyinkansola had replied a DM (direct message) sent by Olaoluwa and 3 years later, they are now husband and wife. Olaoluwa's DM to Oyinkansola was his first attempt at sending a DM and she was the first lady who replied him.

Some people have been heard to ask, how did those people do it? Some think it's about writing an amazing online profile, and go as far as hiring a professional writer to do the job for them. But this is far from the reality. While this may work to a certain extent on dating sites specifically, on social media, the concept of using a well-crafted profile to attract those who may be interested in you is so far from the right thing to do.

However, it does start with your profile, after all, that is where people land when they want to know who they are interacting with online. Some people's profile read like War and Peace, or a similar book that has 1000 pages. Wrong! How many of you have heard about KISS? Keep it short and simple! That is what I subscribe to. Your profile for any of your social media profiles should never be more than three sentences long.

And what do you write in your three sentences. many people write what they think other people want to hear about them. We all know that people get married off social media so you want lots of people to be interested in you. I understand, but you have to be careful that you aren't scaring them away instead. While it’s nice to appear interesting, and have people like what you say, you don’t want to become someone else that even you won't recognize. You stand the chance of losing yourself while pursuing what you think others want to see.

Another saying comes to mind. You can never please everyone. The truth of the matter is, you'll win some, and you'll lose some. Accept this, and it will be easier for you. So pick three things about you, and write them in your profile.

More important however, than your profile, is your day to day activities. Your status updates, your pictures, your comments under other people's profile, status, pictures and comments. And while it may sound counterintuitive, it’s okay to turn people off with some of your comments! Yes, of course, you don't gain anything from being mean, but you surely cannot like everything, right. And really, no one likes a goody two shoes.

Romance can be roses and scented candles, but it is also about honesty and authenticity. This is the only way love can go hand in hand with compatibility. So if you're looking for love and romance on social media, I am sharing this secret with you from my personal experience. Just be yourself.

It’s more important to be the real you… not the version you think people want to see, and don't even bother to try to fit in with what you think is the "in" crowd in the circle you move in within whatever social media. Just be yourself. That way, you know when someone shows interest, it’s because he or she likes the actual things you said, not just that fact that you are a people-pleaser.

So now you know the secret to attracting the right person on social media, so go out there and put it into practice. So what if you don’t run marathons, have never travelled anywhere, while your friends share their skydiving videos, their shopping in Milan, etc. Remember to just do you.

Don't be shy. Share those of your pictures and selfies that show you chilling at home, working out at the gym, going to the local market, traveling to your village, and more. Someone who is truly attracted to that sort of person will find and reach out to you.

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