Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Anita Oyakhilome On How She "Put A Stop To The Abuse" of Marriage To Pastor Chris

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Pastor Anita, estranged wife of Christ Embassy founder Pastor Chris Oyakhilome, has spoken out for the first time since news of her divorce raged over social media all through last year. Putting paid to rumors of a reconciliation, Anita has opened a personal ministry website where she now goes by her maiden name Ebhodaghe. On the site, pastoranita.org, she talks about how she made a decision to stop tolerating abuse in her marriage and start a new life, writing;

My story is not one of a bed of roses, far from it but I had a choice to either beat myself over the regret of tolerating abuse for so long or put a stop to the abuse and recreate my life for the best..

Pastor Anita filed for divorce from Pastor Chris on the grounds of “unreasonable behaviour” back in April 2014. She said on the site that she hopes to inspire others to believe in themselves and help them recreate their life, because she has been through the same journey of rediscovery. She added;

My journey was not in vain. I can now help others realise that their situation does not define them. In order to move on with life, I have come to realise that nothing is permanent. Your problem is not permanent; you can do something to change it by ensuring you do not allow the situation or the person make your life miserable. Pain is a fact of life, it is inevitable but suffering is optional. You can do something to change the pain by over looking every obstacle, take control as a force of nature to grow and expand. Do what is necessary now to use the gift God has given you to unleash your purpose.

My message to all is simple: you have value therefore discover your potential. Do not allow anybody destroy you or rob you of living a joyful life. Your life is not wasted; you have just started a different phase of life. 

In her first blog post she refelcted on the journey of moving on in more detail;

After an abusive relationship or marriage, there is no doubt you will have feelings of deep sorrow for a long time, which could go on for possibly months or even years. These feelings will come and go periodically as you reflect and you remember things from the past that would make you feel distressed.

You may be inundated with disappointments, which may lead you to voice your regrets, especially coming across certain people or a person. Several Instances could cause flashbacks and bring back thoughts of regret such as; signing a contract, making a decision, joining an organization, trusting people, buying a property. Also your mind would question why you hung unto a dead marriage or stayed in an abusive relationship. Don't stay in that condition for too long. Regrets will only aggravate your feelings.

Forget about the things you cannot change and focus on being thankful. Don’t put your life on hold, rather plan what you would like to accomplish in one week, one month, three months and in a year’s time.

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