Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Lola Okoye Opens Up - Molested By Catholic Priest & Abused By First Boyfriend

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Lola Omotayo Okoye opened up at the recently held Kinabuti Dare2Dream Project in Lagos where she was invited to address young girls. Lola felt the best example she could give, was to use a certain aspect of her life to explain herself better to the girls.

She explained how a priest molested her while in high school, how bitter she was to herself and the reasons she couldn’t tell anyone including her family who loves her so much. She later met another man in life, and the story repeated itself before finally meeting Peter of P-Square and the rest as they say is history.

“You shouldn’t let your past determine what your destiny will be, we all have our past whether good or bad or makes us unhappy, we all had a life that we lived that we are not happy about, you shouldn’t let it bother you from succeeding.

When I was a young girl in my early teens in high school, I was molested by a catholic priest, i blamed myself, i didn’t tell anyone because i was ashamed, couldn’t tell anyone cos  i felt everyone would blame me, so i carried on the guilt and bitterness with me for years. I was filled with hate and i became a angry person, i was rebellious, i didn’t want to listen to anybody…and because i wanted to be expelled from school to avoid seeing this person, i would do so many terrible things, everything around me was just so negative, i felt i wasn’t good enough….

Anyway i moved on to the university, met the love of my life and i’m like, okay this guy is cool, he loves me…and then he started to abuse me….i was beaten black and blue all the time, in front of friends, in public and at a point i felt, you know what  I am not worthy enough, there is nothing about me that is nice, nobody loves me but i hid this from my family….i felt like a loser..so it was hard for me to focus..so one day i woke up and said i am going to change my story and i dumped that person, focus on my education and decided to be serious and be something….i decided to get a job and go to school full time in America…

I worked hard…my parents were sending me money cos I didn’t tell them i was working but i was working because i wanted to be independent…I didn’t want to depend on any man or on my parents even though they would have done anything for me…so i did all sorts of job, i was a make up artiste, i worked in a cafe, school library,  i did so many things and i didn’t realise that these jobs were building me up as a person, building my resume, my confidence….people began to like me because i was adding value to their lives….at work i was excellent and so was i in school and that built me as a strong woman…and at some point, i sought counseling to get over my molestation issues where i was made to see reasons why i wasn’t at fault cos i was a child then…today I am accomplished.

You can be whatever woman you want to be but you have to believe in yourself, if they reject you today, it doesn’t mean you should let your dreams die, you have something unique about you. Look at my husband, when i met him peeps were like what are you doing with him, he has nothing but i stood my ground and choose to stick with him cos he had a dream. He and his twin brother did not let their dream die, they worked hard..look at them today! I stuck by him cos he had focus and drive and today i am happy, i have a good life, we are happy and we have got a beautiful family. No one can make you a loser.”

Via LadunLiadi

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