Tuesday, September 16, 2014

On Women Who Say It is Harder to Find a Good Man in Nigeria - Ali Baba

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“I have a serious matter at hand that I want to share. In fact, I should have shared this long ago, but the primary message from a friend that prompted the matter, was lost in between the series of inbox messages from those strange girls that are looking for romantic friendships on Facebook.

In a nutshell, a lady friend sent me an inbox message on how it’s harder to find a good man in Nigeria. And that the men who are “manageable” (her words, not mine) are so scarce and if you ever get them they are either married to a lady that does not deserve them or just repenting from a bad marriage from one of such women. Or even just lost faith in the whole marriage thing.

I later ran into her at a club. After the usual introductions that have become common place with these social media network of friends… (You are my friend on Twitter, Facebook, Tango, INSTAGRAM… That kind of thing)…. I chatted with her a bit and found out from what she told me, that, many women are now settling for anything in between MR Right, MR Not just ok and MR Nearly right.

As she put it, it’s now a case of looking at what a guy checks out in the top 10 box… And if he has 3 out of 10, snap him up… Work on the rest 7, if you are lucky, you can get him to add 3 more of those top10 qualities… And begin to pray it lasts for as long as you both can manage.

Much as I tried, to get her to rate me, she said, she can only rate someone who is on her radar. So ladies have relationship radar? Yes of course. You think you were not in Mary’s radar, and she waited for you to come back after you… ? Ouch!!! (That was my guy who was listening in on our private conversation) I wasn’t on Mary’s radar…. I managed to mutter. Then she fooled you wellllll. She quickly added.

It got me thinking… What does a man need to show to get on any woman’s radar? Money, sense of humor, fame, dress sense, good job, intelligence, good diction, good physique, some visible signs of affluence, confidence,… She let me continue for a while, raised her glass of Henessy VSOP, downed it, and said, “He must first be AVAILABLE. Then you can begin to check out the rest.”

So I asked, do I look available? She said, “Of course, to the people who do not care if you are married, you are very available! Not to me, OOO. Mary was my boss at Platinum. So that strikes you out.” So I asked the next possible question, “so what can I do to look unavailable?” There is nothing. You are even an easy pick. She added. Any man who has a source of income, popular, dresses well, tall, handsome small sef, has a car, is in the circles of successful people, looks like he has potentials to become somebody important and can pay the bills…

Our conversation started having K-leg when she lit a cigar, not cigarette, Cuban cigar and started smoking. I took a good look at her, and realized that, these women who are looking for a MR Right all over Lagos, may just have met him but he is also looking for a woman who doesn’t drink alcohol or smoke anything at all. That is the wahala. As you are looking for MR right, he might be dodging you because you are all shades of wrong…

While you are looking waiting for a guy to walk in and fit into your radar, you are doing some things that also confine you to the “never my type” hemisphere…

So, in conclusion, just as good men are hard to find, “manageable” ladies are unicorns!!!!

What is GOOSE for Uganda… Is GOOD for PERU”



I got an inbox message from my friend who I had the "ladies looking for MR Right" chat with.. SHE WAS MAD. I MEAN, VERRRRRRRY. I would like to let her know that no part of this is to discredit her or paint her in a bad light. Which is also why no name was mentioned in the write up. The write up was purely... And I know God is my witness, that the essence of the write up is for ladies, and guys, to know that when they are LOOKING for somebody armed with a criteria, the person you are looking for may have a search target that does not include you on any level.

If anything, it is to let people know that, everyone compromises, because no one individual is perfect. And also highlight the fact that if you meet anyone who has 30% of what you desire in a partner, work on helping the person become better instead of making the person lose that small 30% they have to their name. Evidence abound that some people meet a good partner with about 70% and by the time they are through with that partner, they can put 20% grain of eligibility on the table of any new relationship. They are scarred for life!

So my darling friend, (name still withheld,) you were not the target of my write up. It was for whom it may concern. You actually helped me to see somethings in a different light. So if sharing the content of our discussion off social network worked you up that much, I apologize from the bottom of my heart. It was not intended. My intention was to also let people see that the reasons for not finding the evasive Partner could be in you that is looking for the significant other.

Hope you find it in your heart to understand. That is also a quality oooo

Next round of drinks and even the Cigar is on me. Plus we will dance as promised the last time. Deal?


Comedian Ali Baba likes to write about the dating and relationship space in Nigeria as well as other social issues. He shared this on his Facebook page.

Read more from him below;

Single Mothers Who Are Not Prepared To Cater For Their Children

Pastors Living Large Instead of Funding Enterpreneurs in Church

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