Tuesday, July 22, 2014

How Couples Should Manage Their Finances To Avoid Divorce Via Irreconcilable Differences

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By Marvel Eke

Irreconcilable what? most divorce cases are usually related to financial differences. But none would want to admit it. Whenever you hear a couple, citing irreconcilable differences as their reason for divorce, look very well and you will discover it has to do with money.

It's only a few that's as a result of domestic violence or infidelity. Most of them are caused by financial issues.

Ask any divorce lawyer, and he or she will certainly confirm it (if they are sincere enough). Imagine asking a woman who's been so used to an extravagant lifestyle or wooed based on that before marrying her, to readjust or change her lifestyle due to economic reasons.

She might accept at first or make an attempt to adapt. But truth be told, many of such women would find it difficult to adapt. And before you know it, the couple would start having issues while making references to their past or some trivia issues. From there, it might result into domestic violence or infidelity issue.

Problems in most marriages starts in sequence. And its only when the couple don't try to work things out quickly that's when you start hearing irreconcilable differences. Tah! forget that story, cos is it now that each of them is discovering their differences or bad habits. Didn't they date before saying I do. It's when the trivia issues are escalated that makes it a huge problem.

So, couples should learn to adjust, should there be need to. A man doing well or earning much today might experience a downturn or financial problem tomorrow. Which might require some readjustment from every member of his family.

Foreign trips would be cut off, extravagant lifestyle would be thrown away, excessive spending would also be flush out, so as to enable the man of the house sustain the family on his savings or limited budget. Is just that, some women find it difficult to readjust when they've already gotten used to a particular lifestyle.

Some due to what people would say or due to the enjoyment they'd no longer have access to. And as a result, you find them ' carrying' face almost all the time, complaining, picking quarrels with their husband or simply looking for a way out of the marriage. And before you know it, you start hearing accusations of domestic violence or infidelity.

It could also be the other way round, especially if the wife is earning more than her husband. Some men have ego, and ego sometimes is related to complex. Some men don't like getting involved with ladies that earn more than them or that are more successful than them.

Do you know why? Cos some women do allow their wealth or privileged status get to their heads most times. And such women tend to be rude or disrespectful to their husband occasionally. And most men can't tolerate it. This can also make a couple to break up, citing irreconcilable differences later.

(now you've seen that it has to do with money or status) But most troubled couples wont say so. Cos of pride and prejudice. On the side of the woman, she wont want the world to know that she left her husband cos of money. So that it doesn't spoil her chances of remarrying or finding another suitor to take home to her parents again. That's if she wants to.

While on the part of the man, it also has to do with ego. Most men wouldn't want the new woman/wife coming in, to think he's a stingy man or incapable of taking care of a woman, that was why his ex wife left him. That's why some usually lie or use excuses such as infidelity, domestic violence or insubordination as their reason for divorce. But if you dig very well, na money palavar. Everybody simply wants to look good before everybody.

But we really need to cut our coat according to our cloth. We really need to set a moderate/achievable standard in our homes, so as to avoid having issues later. Most of the 21st century wives we have nowadays are not like the wives (our mothers) of those days.

Who were quite understanding, prudent and also loyal to the end. They knew how to manage whatever was given to them by their husband, and still be able save some of it as well. Women need to be prudent, supportive, understanding and loyal to the end. If there is money, no good husband would hide it from his wife.

Marriage is for better for worse. But some have now amended it to be for better, yes. But for worse, you're on your own. Which is not suppose to be so. Please, lets love for the sake of love.

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