Friday, June 20, 2014

For Naija Men - How NOT To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad

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Men in diasporas are wising up, they don't go to Nigeria for wives as they have realised that those ladies are more dubious than the ladies in oyinbo land. If you live in abroad, may be in Europe, The Americas or anywhere, and you desperately need a wife from home, please follow these rules.

1. Do not let any lady you are interested in, know you live abroad in the first place, if she must know, tell her you are in Ghana or Uganda etc

2. Do not select lady who is well versed in the use of the internet, these are ladies who are advertising themselves nakedly on different websites to dupe unsuspecting men, they will jump on you and dump you as soon as they relocate with you.

3. Do not allow your relative or family member, may be brothers or sisters to help you find a lady, they will always choose someone they can use to get you.

4. Do not allow your friends who live abroad with you to suggest someone living in Nigeria to you; it may be a ploy to bring his girlfriend over especially if he is not documented.

5. Avoid ladies who are University graduates if you can, they will pretend until they relocate with you, and then got aware of the female friendly laws in Europe/USA and dump you as soon as possible. Many of them will end up quarrelling with you and becoming very argumentative and arrogant.

6. Avoid sending money to your fiancé or the lady you intend to marry, as you will soon become a money-miss-road, ''a laughing stock''

7. Avoid any lady that attends flashy Pentecostal churches, this may only be for pretence.

8. Insist on all medical tests before any wedding at all.

9. Please, forget about beauty, insist on a very sober lady with good characters, i.e. avoid sentiments

10. Avoid any lady that tells you she can manage a bottle of beer etc, you may be courting a prostitute.

11. Please, do not search for a Nigerian wife on dating website, you may not live to regret it.

12. If you finally visit Nigeria to see the lady you choose , please do not jump on the bed with her, try to avoid sex with her, she may coat herself with ''Jazz'', to tie you up.

13. As you are avoiding sex, please make sure you check all the body parts, like the bosoms, the tommy area, or you may even ''finger'' the private part to ''carbon date'' her experience and dating age.

14. If you can avoid a slim lady with very bursty chest, it will be better, because European men have great taste for these qualities or else you may end up finding your neighbour on top of your wife, or having a mullato/halfcast child.

A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE. , This piece was compiled based on my personal experience after living in Europe for 13 yrs, take care.

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2 comments:

  1. Not really funny.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm still in stitches. Myne how did you come up with these?

    ReplyDelete

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