Thursday, May 15, 2014

[Please Advice] Do You Ever Worry About Meeting The Right Person For You?

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Dear Myne. I am going to be 36 later this year and still single and I'm beginning to get worried. Don't get me wrong, I am meeting lots of people, but no one I really want to date. The guys I like already have girlfriends or they are just not interested in me. The ones who pay me attention are the ones I know are so wrong for me.

My mom keeps telling me that I would definitely end up with someone who will treat me right and who I will love right back and that I shouldn't worry so much. She said she was 100% sure and that it was normal to worry but that I didn't need to.

But I can't help thinking it's easy for her to say, she's been happily married for almost 40 years to one man, my dad, and he treats her like a queen since I can remember. And I can't help thinking that Lagos is like the roughest place to date: I'm surrounded by weaved or wigged out ladies with hair to their bum bum, and perfectly bleached skin wearing and carrying designer clothers, shoes and bags. Let me not talk about the guys I meet, half of who seem to either be married or just plain crazy. And they all want to get in my pants!

So am I wrong or right to be worried. To those reading, if you're married did you have any dating woes when you were single? For those who are single now, do you ever worry that you're never going to find your soulmate? Do you think one's city plays into it? Should I move out of Lagos, and where should I move? I grew up in Port Harcourt but I hear it is worse there.

Someone please advice me. Thanks.


  1. I don't understand your request. But I can only say hold on and love will find you soon.

  2. To answer your last question, no I don't think one's city plays a role in finding love. After all in the same Abuja that's said to be the most difficult place for single ladies to meet and marry their life partners people still get married every Saturday. I pray love finds you soon, your concerns are very valid but I don't think love depends on geography. I would only ask that you continue to have faith and pray with sincerity, trusting God to do what's best for you.

  3. I truly believe what your mom's said and Thelma too- love will find you.
    My cousin got married at about 38 (if not more) to a very handsome, younger man.
    Now, that might not be the ideal for most people but I think age is nothing but a number- they love each other senseless.
    She lives in Lagos too and though she'd worried and pined about it, I think it got to a point where she decided she wouldn't let the absence of a spouse/partner define her.
    She focused on her career and on her activities in church- and lived well.
    She was rich but not flamboyant- she didn't care for exorbitant weaves and all that fakery- she just made certain to look nice and that was it.
    Love will find you, just believe whilst you hold on.

  4. Strangely enough, my own experience made me realize that the city you live does affect your dating life. I previously lived in NY and found dating rather difficult there. I was very lonely. I eventually moved to Philly and met some really nice guys, and made quite a few good friends. I also met my husband less than a year after I moved.
    Dating culture differs by city oo!

  5. The poster needs to continue focusing on building her life and trusting that God will provide her with the right spouse.

    She shouldn't compromise herself and worry about the weave wearing crowd. Different people want different things in spouses.


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