Friday, May 2, 2014

More Power to Black Music? by BabaWilly

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I spend more time listening to black music than any other music. So what is black music? Music composed and performed by black people? Who knows? All I know is some aspects of Black music winds me up the wrong way.  Rest in peace and great respect to the dead but which one is, I shot the sheriff but did not shoot the deputy? No jury will buy that line of yours my brother especially as you claimed to have shot a law enforcement officer. Why sing in court? Do you not have money for legal representation? Guilty as charged abeg. Next!

‘Mama said knock you out!’ Hmmmm.  A lame defence. So you blame your violent conduct on maternal advice? You have inflicted a blow to the head causing your victim to lose consciousness and sustain a skull fracture and an intra-cranial bleed that needed two hours in theatre to sort out and you say sweet mama made you do it? What happened to blaming the devil for your crazy grievous bodily harming career? Guilty as charged. Next! Now this case really winds me up because it fits in with a certain stereotype about the black man.

‘Don’t know much about biology, don’t know much about geology’ I know people say we Nigerians emphasize too much on the need for quality education, but why let your daughter date an ignoramus? Okay, perhaps he had no access to schools due to that beast called racism. We give him some benefit doubt but rather than stop singing he continues. ‘I don’t know much about the science book, don’t know much about the French I took’. At this stage a Naija dad shifts in his chair as if evading termites about to bite his right bum cheek. He thinks ’Shuo! So the boy actually was not denied access to education. He has the audacity to come to my living room and tell me he knows little about the French class he took. God forbid!’ Outwardly Naija dad said. ‘Hmm. Ruki, go and call your mother’.

Mum walks in to hear what lover boy thinks are the rewards of attending classes and not understanding what was taught.

‘But I do know that I love you’ he says pointing to Ruki. Mum rolls the eyes and says under her breath, ‘Oh, the maga admits to knowing something at least’.

‘And I do know that if you love me too. What a wonderful world it would be’ he finishes with a flourish.  Naija dad shakes his head and exclaims, ‘what a prediction. Years of ignorance and resistance to learning will lead to a wonderful world? Not in this house!!’

Mama Ruki chips in. ‘You were wrong about the biology. I hear you have six baby mamas. Unless your father is a billionaire, over my dead body!’

Now why would any Black man mount the stage and sing about ignorance and not understanding lectures. That is so embarrassing considering the stereotypes that abound.  Guilty as charged. Olodo! Next! White men can’t jump. For goodness sake bros, who told you? Did you watch the last winter Olympics? How many medals went to African states?  The pole vault world records in both the male and female categories are not held by blacks. Next!

I believe I can fly? More like I believe I can fly in the face of documented and intuitive wisdom. How many parachute jumps are done in Africa each year?  How many parachute regiments exist in the armed forces of Africa? Witches dey fly but nothing else abeg. Check out the racial groupings of the first men on the moon before you take song deceive us abeg. If na I believe I can run, ehen, that is more believable.  Track and field and long distance races are in the Black man’s bag. Next!  Fela too dey yab church for im music. No bi church spoil Naija, na mismanagement. Next!

Too many songs on winding your waist and shaking your bum- bum in Naija abeg. Let the government encourage the learning of classical music in schools. That way, we heard no lyrics. Have you noticed that the level of under development in any country is directly proportional to the amplitude and frequency of waist revolutions while dancing? Check am na. Ballet dancing rigid waist countries have large economies. Races and countries where ‘all ma ladies’ dance with hi speed vibrating bum -bums have huge national debts.  Next!

Black music is African music but money yab man. Since the wealth is in America, they call the shots. They own Black music and give Grammies to each other while the whole of Africa struggle for the crumbs under the banner of World music. It is a matter of cash after all. That brings me to American Black music videos. I see things there that I do not see in other cultures, namely the denigration of our women.

The men are overdressed in shirts, jackets,  bullet proof vests, gold teeth, jewellery , watches on both wrists, multiple condoms, hats , gloves, scarves (na winter?) socks, boots etc. The girls are given a handkerchief to divide into two, one half goes to making a bra and the other half is for the panties. Then they are instructed to shake it like a Polaroid picture. Na wa o!

Which group of people on earth go into the recording studio to abuse their women on music tracks? How come there is no song about the cerebral hemispheres of black women. The rappers are self-proclaimed dons of anatomy are they not? Some even call themselves Doctors. Anatomy does not start and end at the pelvis and anterior chest wall. Let us rap about the brain, the spinal cord and liver na. Nonsense and ingredients!!!

Real Black music aka Nigeria music have tracks like Sweet Mother extolling the virtues of the females who play a major role in society. A worrying development however is this bum-bum and waist fixation among the current crop of naija artistes. Perhaps they should command the babes to read Nigerian classic works of literature rather than imploring them to wind it, shake it to the music. In their defence, at least they are not cursing out the owners of the said bum- bums. Next!

Music serves a very important role in Nigerian culture. At parties, live bands do a roll call of who is present and you get to hear their CVs sang out melodiously. Their family trees get thrown in and this is informative. The big shots get puffed up and arise to ‘spray’ Dollars on the band.

Music is that invisible cement that binds us all as shared histories and experiences are played out in sweet melodies. There is a song for everything; war, peace, births, deaths and marriages. The nations have their anthems and each product its advertising jingle. Even God demands a song and the various lesser spirits demand a tune. Each army, school, football team are recognised by their songs for everybody has a song that speaks deep things to the atmosphere. Even the beggars and mourners sing and while the wealthy pay others to do their singing and mourning.

In summary let there be more power to Black music and even more yards of fabric to the black girl whose bum-bum is exposed while her dignity decomposes in the name of making good videos. Dats all.


Dr Wilson Orhiunu



  1. Tank you sah. God bless you sah. You talk am well

  2. Nice article and I had a trip down memory lane.


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