Friday, May 23, 2014

Marriage Avowals - Seyi Law and Wife, Ebere on Marriage Across Ethnic Lines

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Comedian, Seyi Law, real name Oluwaseyitan Alatile,  and his wife, Ebere, have been married for three years and celebrated their wedding anniversary back in March. They speak with Punch about how they met, overcoming any ethnic bias from family members, and their marriage so far.

How did you meet?
Seyi Law: We met on September 30, 2007. I was invited to Global Impact Church, Lagos, to perform and I kept looking at her while on stage. I was admiring her even before I was called up to perform but I did not have the courage to walk up to her. After the show, as I was about leaving the church, she walked up to me and told me that it was a wonderful performance and that she liked my confidence on stage. That was how we got talking.

Looking at her must have distracted you…
Seyi Law: No, it did not. In fact, I had to put in extra energy and effort because of her.

How did the relationship develop?
Seyi Law: After the performance, she and her friends wanted to take a cab home and none was forthcoming. I got a cab before them and I insisted we boarded it together. We drove from the church to her place and we exchanged phone numbers. One day, I was just at home, she sent me a text message, praying for me and wishing me well in my career. I told myself that I liked a woman like that. We met again after that, and gradually started seeing regularly. Then we got married.

How long did you date before you got married?
Seyi Law: We dated for about three and a half years before we got married.

How did he propose to you?
Ebere: There was a comedy show we attended on the island. That was the day Michael Jackson died. He just got back from the United Kingdom and asked me to accompany him to the show, and I did. Right there on the stage, he called me and I came out, then he knelt down in front of everyone and asked me to marry him. I was surprised but it was the best moment ever. I felt very shy. Initially, I thought it was part of the comedy but when he brought out the ring, I knew it was real.

What were the initial attractions?
Ebere: His brilliance attracted me. He was so composed on the stage and very confident.
Seyi Law: Initially, I did not notice her beauty. I love her attitude and composure. As time went on, I saw the motherly character in her. She is caring and has human feelings for people. I told myself that I would not miss her.

Did you ever think of marrying him?
Ebere: I did not think we would get married. Even after he proposed to me, we did not get married immediately, my friends were concerned whether he would marry me or not; but I told them not to worry. I kept waiting and kept believing in him. We got married in March 2011.

Were there other suitors before Seyi?
Ebere: Yes, there were. I told them I was already taken and some of them were disappointed while some took it in good faith.

Did you ever want to marry someone in the entertainment industry?
Ebere: I never knew he would be this popular.

How would you describe your marriage?
Ebere: It has been wonderful, fun, divine, amazing and awesome. He is a wonderful person every woman would want to have. He is funny and cracks me up even in the house. But when he is serious, you would know because he would not be smiling. You would just know when he is not joking.

Were there oppositions from family members?
Seyi Law: The oppositions did not really matter. The people who objected to it were not the people that mattered to me. I saw them as people that were scared that once I got married; they would stop getting certain benefits from me. They were just fighting for their pockets. The most important people saw her as someone I should marry. The person I thought would object to me getting married to someone from another tribe was my father, but when he met her, he liked her personality.
Ebere: My mother was sceptical about me marrying a Yoruba man, but the first day she met him, she liked him. There were no oppositions at all.

How have you coped despite the tribal difference?
Ebere: We understand each other. I am from Abia State but I speak Yoruba, and his native dialect, Ilaje.

Did marriage deprive you of anything?
Seyi Law: No. We dated for almost four years and at that time, we became like siblings. Nothing changed when we eventually got married. The only difference is that we no longer go out as much as we used to when we were still dating. I am always the one pushing her to have some time-out with her friends, but she loves to do things at her own pace.

How would you describe yourselves?
Ebere: He is God-fearing, protective, intelligent and awesome.
Seyi Law: She is very caring and jovial. She is beautiful, not just from outside but within. She is an intelligent person.

What would you like to change about each other?
Ebere: Nothing; I like him the way he is.
Seyi Law: I want her to always tell me that she has money. Sometimes, I just see money in some places and I discover they are hers. She is very prudent and does not spend everything whenever I give her money.

Do you get jealous of his female fans?
Ebere: I do not get jealous. I like it when his fans celebrate him. They come around and tell him how much they appreciate his work and how much they love him. We get that all the time and I don’t feel bad about it. If those calls are not coming in, that means he is not doing well and no one appreciates him. As long as those calls are not detrimental to our marriage, I do not feel bad. I am proud when I see them come around him and want to take pictures with him.

Do you have access to each other’s phones and social media accounts?
Ebere: No, we do not, because we trust each other.

How do you balance the time between work and your family?
Seyi Law: Whenever I am not working, I am always at home. If there is any need for me not to be at home, we are always together, somewhere away from home.

How do you spend time together?
Ebere: Every time I get an opportunity outside work, we are always together. We travel together all the time, except on few occasions when I had to travel alone.

Do you have a joint bank account?
Ebere: Yes, we do.

What common hobbies do you share?
Ebere: We are both givers. We like to help people. He cooks almost better than I do. We both like to do chores at home too.
Seyi Law: We both love to swim and watch movies together. We also like to cook.

What causes quarrels between the two of you?
Ebere: I get angry when he does not spend money wisely. He likes to buy gadgets all the time.
Seyi Law: I am cool with her. I think I am always the offender.

How do you make up when there is a quarrel?
Both: We both apologise.
Seyi Law: If we have issues and go to bed, the other person will keep turning in bed and at the end, call the offender to order.

What pet names do you call each other?
Seyi Law: She calls me ‘Mr. do-do (you too do)’
Ebere: I call him Sugar or baby. He also calls me baby.

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