Saturday, March 8, 2014

Are You Living Life to The Full As a Single and Waiting?

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By Eniola Ake

The society has placed so much pressure on single women so much that some single women go to any length to get married or have a man. Yet most women aren't happy even with all the measures they have employed in having a man. Towards the period of finding a life partner, some women then begin to make adjustments in their behavior, character or personality.

There is no other word for that action than "pretence". Pretending to be who you're not won't even help you or take you far in marriage. It is better to stay single than mess up another person's life and even yours in the long run.

However, having a man or getting married shouldn't be a thing of force. Just like every other decision made in life, women should be free to make the decision to either get married or stay single.

However if you decide to get married make sure its not based on selfish or unreasonable reasons (such as:getting married will make you complete, happy, fulfilled or  honored) as a failed marriage is worse off.
Whether single or married, women should have a sense of independence and ability to be happy.

Most single women aren't happy cause they are single while some married women are blaming themselves for even taking that decision in the first place. That's to say being single or married doesn't define your state of health, mind or happiness. YOU as an individual should determine that yourself.

No curse is on you because you are single. At the right time and in the right frame of mind, the decision to get or not to get married should come at ease.

Either single or married, you have duties and responsibilities to perform while alive and that should be your ultimate priority.

Some women have the duty of making sure an organization is running well while some have the duty of bringing up great children who will be leaders of tomorrow, some other women have the duty of creating great businesses that will contribute to the growth and development of the country, another could be a duty to humanity-taking care of children and old people. Some women are already taking up their responsibilities while some are still wallowing in that "you need to get married mentality".

The former can be seen in all walks of life: health sectors, business owners, caregivers, banking sectors, information technology, entertainment and infotainment, inspirational sector and so on.

In a nutshell, women should focus more on purposeful living than negativity that comes from societal pressure. They should take up their responsibilities and turn the world around with their great ideas and gifts.
In conclusion, being single or married shouldn't determine the way you see yourself.  So also being married isn't a bad thing as the society is trying to paint it that way.

Learn to focus on the purpose for your life while having in mind that to be single or married should be a decision you would make yourself and never one to be taken lightly. Do choose right.


Eniola Ake is a psychologist who is a writer of articles on relationship and emotional health care. She also does e-counseling and has a blog (


  1. Awesome post, spot on. We singles face so much pressure its refreshing to read something like this,thank you.


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