Monday, February 10, 2014

How to Keep Your Sex Life Fresh and Vibrant in Marriage

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When it comes to marriage, many couples often expect their sex lives to take care of themselves; the reality is that it is an important aspect of relationships that needs tended to like anything else. If you never changed the oil in your car, would you be surprised when the engine stopped working? Once we realize that a boring sex life is not a broken sex life, that’s when we can start working toward improving intimacy in our relationships.

As you know, a very important part of a healthy marriage begins in the bedroom and you should these tips to keep it alive and well.

Intimacy is more than just sex: Touching your husband or wife in sexy ways outside the bedroom -a squeeze here, a massage there - will remind you both that the bustle of daily life can give way to the rustle of nighttime get-togethers. It’s important to remember that intimacy doesn’t just occur in the bedroom.

Set aside special times to be intimate with one another, for example, cooking together, setting aside times to give each other massages, reading to one another, dance lessons, etc.

It is so easy in this busy world to become like ‘business’ partners or roommates, each of you attending to the daily tasks of running a home, family and a career.

Communicate: This is very important. Let your spouse know your sexual likes and dislikes in a non-confrontational way. The more both of you become more comfortable communicating your needs, the more likely you are to experiment and try new things.

No one is to blame for a stale sex life but those who give up on their sex lives without giving it their all. And remember, in a marriage, you’re more than lovers, you’re also best friends; communicating on a friendship level means always choosing your words and actions with respect and care and always approaching one another in an open and honest way.

Use sex to get past ruts in your marriage: There will be times in your marriage when careers, family, kids, friends, hobbies and other important tasks will pack your schedule and get in the way of maintaining a good relationship.

There will be periods when the two of you are not communicating well and don’t seem to be connecting with each other. When you experience these ruts in your relationship, don’t let sex go by the wayside.

Use the time you have together wisely by getting frisky: If your marriage is experiencing a dip, it’ll fall even further if the two of you don’t connect sexually. Instead of abandoning your bedroom activities at the first sign of trouble, use sex to get back on track.

Stop looking at her as your wife: Yes, she is the love of your life, the woman you chose to spend your days with until you both grow old. She is the mother of your children (if you have them) and a domestic goddess that runs your household and your family while still succeeding in a career and a myriad of other duties.

In order to make married sex better, try to stop thinking of her as your adorable and adoring wife when the two of you get frisky. Allow your imagination to run wild; think of her as a sexpot and encourage her to play the part.

Tap into the intense attraction you have for each other and forget that you’re husband and wife.

Make your room a no kid zone: Having a better sex life with your wife requires that you both take a step away from your everyday lives and focus on each other.

If you are parents, this means that you’re going to have to designate some space in your house for adult-only activities. To this end, consider making your bedroom a no-go area for your children.

The kids usually have the run of the house, but if they know that mum and dad’s room is off limits, you’ll be more likely to have time and space to yourselves on a regular basis. Your bedroom will become a haven where it’s all about the two of you.

Don’t wear pyjamas to bed: It’s a well-known fact that many people - men and women alike - feel it’s cool to let themselves go once the wedding vows are exchanged. Unfortunately, this is a one way street to problems with your sex life.

If you no longer bother to put in the effort to make yourself attractive to your spouse, she could lose interest in being intimate with you.

Keep the sex hot by maintaining your looks: This means you should not allow that hot body go just because you are now married and think no man will admire you.

Your husband sure admires you and he will want you to be as sexy as the lady he met and fell in love. The same goes for the men who allow the pouch grow and the flabs come on.

Try work outs once in a while, exercise and keep fit.

The best thing about married sex: The major benefit of having sex in a long-term relationship is that you should be able to trust your partner and not be afraid to share all aspects of your sexuality with him or her.

Get your fantasies out in the open, push your boundaries and create the right environment in order to keep exploring sex with the person you plan to grow old with.

Override predictability: One of the biggest stumbling blocks to romance and intimacy is the tendency to become a slave to routine. It's easy for couples to get comfortable, never venturing out to try new things, or worse, never exploring new territories within the landscape of their relationship.

Any activities that will encourage change and growth will more than likely bring the spark back from those endorphin-filled courtship days. While being predictable is comfortable, it isn’t exactly an aphrodisiac!

Shake things up by each of you making a list of 10 things you would like to try in or out of the bedroom and placing all of the ideas in a hat. Draw a couple per week from the hat and replenish monthly; this is sure to keep the excitement going all year long.

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