Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Is There Anything Like Caring Too Much In Your Relationship?

Posted in: , , ,

CARE (meaning): Close attention; concern; responsibility; worry; upkeep.

When we care about each other in a relationship, we pay close attention to our partners, their emotions, their thoughts and their moods, which is nothing if not very normal. If we decide to rate the caring we give to our partners on a scale of 0-10, some people will rate at 8, some at 6, 4 gets my eyes rolling and 2 is evidently deficient but when we rate 12/10, should the partner remove their slippers, pick them up and run?

You may ask, how does one judge this ratings? Stick with me.

In my own personal opinion and for the records (you can gladly reference me on this), there is nothing like 'caring too much' or rating over the bar. Caring is solely based on both parties in the relationship; and I'll define them as "the giver and the receiver" of the care.

As the giver, if you're doing all you can for your partner at the same time as you're still trying to be more aware of yourself and what he needs from you, is it possible for you to be doing it too much? No!

Let me make this an instance; So as a student, you studied hard for your examinations, you already killed yours test and you have confidence that you just murdered the examinations too, what grade do you expect? Straight A's right?

And then your lecturer invites you to his office to tell you, "Son/daughter, I am highly impressed by you, your parents would really be proud of you also. You got an A, but it's a pity there's no grade like A++ or A raised to power 2, neither can I keep an extra 20marks till next session for you. Enjoy your A and see you around!"

What will your reactions be after you excuse yourself? Oh well, I know. You will be sad and decide never to study that hard again.

Of course not! You will jump around, play music, and try to do some stunts from 'you got served'. Or you will sing Whitney Houston's 'saving all my love for you' while you are dancing, you are just super excited because you studied hard and you got exceptional results and you will decide to give it your all next time so as to feel just as good with your results.

You as a giver will continue to give all your best to your examinations and not worry about any excesses that cannot be transferred. Your lecturer, representing the receiver, will never tell you to scale back but will continue to acknowledge and appreciate your efforts with A's.

The lecturer too is not always the receiver, he/she is the giver when they are teaching you, and a good lecturer will give their best so their students can do very well in the exams!

It is the same in a relationship, there is nothing like caring too much. You give all you can, and the receiver, will receive on good notes or otherwise, either ways sending a vital message back to the giver.

From the moment we decide to be together as a couple, we should begin to willingly work on our differences, paying close attention to each other's personality, mood types, policies and principles... countless essential and non-essential things either consciously or sub-consciously.

I'm not talking cash or LV or Hugo Boss cologne or Loboutins, we make sacrifices, we take risks, we trust, we understand, we put up, we consider, we appreciate, we accept, we basically do a lot of things for each other in our relationships without duress or subjugation. However, sometimes if they are not appreciated or well acknowledged then we are greatly discouraged.

Therefore, caring is a two way thing. Remember this when you are on the receiving end, and don't forget the fact that you have to give too and that sometimes what you receive in return is determined by whether 'you continued giving or stopped'. There is nothing like caring or giving too much as long as the receiver appreciates and gives back too, all ratings be damned.

Whether you are the giver or receiver in your relationship, but you're already rating your partner and finding tthem wanting, remember these few things. No partner/spouse was born from the same womb, you met them one way or the other, got to know each other and fell in love. Where you both decide to begin a relationship is where the big project begins to become better carers, giving and receiving.

So to all my readers, give and don't bite yourself for doing it, it's never too much for whoever we want to be with. When you receive, receive with love and keep it in mind that your partner has gone out of their own will or way to give to you. In the end, we should all realize that we all are 'givers' and 'receivers'.


  1. Thank you for this post! I have always had a silent debate with myself as to how much to give.. But your points make it very very clear. I like the analogy of the student and lecturer.. Nice one xx

  2. Interesting article, but when the other person is not appreciating, it can look like one is caring too much. What do you say to that?

  3. I totally agree with you, you can never give too much. My hubby and I have a game we play...trying to out give each other whether its buying stuff, doing things for each other etc
    It keeps always striving to do better!

  4. Sorry to break this to you, Sister. But there are exceptions. There are extremes. And there is BALANCE.

  5. Hi to all, it's actually a pleasant for me to go
    to see this site, it contains helpful Information.

    Review my homepage - this link iherb code

  6. Hello there! I simply want to offer you a big thumbs up for
    your great info you have got right here on this post. I
    will be coming back to your website for more soon.

    My homepage; jobs that are hiring

  7. I'm not sure exactly why but this blog is loading incredibly slow for me.

    Is anyone else having this issue or is it a issue on my end?
    I'll check back later on and see if the problem still exists.

  8. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if
    you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my
    newest twitter updates. I've been looking for a
    plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe
    you would have some experience with something like this.
    Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading
    your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

  9. Hi there! Do you know if they make any plugins
    to help with Search Engine Optimization? I'm trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I'm
    not seeing very good success. If you know of any please share.
    Appreciate it!

  10. Nice answers in return of this matter with real arguments and describing all regarding

  11. Hi, I do believe this is a great web site. I stumbledupon it ;) I am going to return yet again since i have bookmarked it.
    Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue to help others.

  12. I constantly emailed this weblog post page to all my contacts, since
    if like to read it after that my friends
    will too.

  13. Hi there! This post could not be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of
    my old room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this
    article to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read.
    Many thanks for sharing!


Click Post a Comment to share your thoughts, I'll love to hear from you. Thanks!

*Comments on old posts are moderated and may take sometime to be shown. That's just because I want to see them and respond to you if necessary.