Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Advice Corner: My Friend Says Her Brother Is Into Me Because of My Money

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Dear Myne,

I have been dating my friend's elder brother for months now, We met in their mum's birthday party. We are not best of friends, but I take her to be my good friend, we stayed in together in my first and second year in school, even after not staying together anymore, we still act like we do.

Her brother got my contact number from me and started asking me out few days after we met, he was so direct with his intention and his maturity was one thing I greatly admired. My friend had no problem with it, she told me her brother doesn't have the intention of messing around with anybody, let alone her own friend.

Eventually I made up my mind and I was planning on giving him my answer when I learnt that he had lost his job. It didn't change my mind about him or stop me from dating him, I never even thought about his money or job before-hand.

I am still a student but in my finals, but I do some free-lance jobs which pays me quite well and makes me independent of any man. I also have parents and siblings who provides my needs, basically I don't lack anything.

Last week, my friend and I got talking about perfumes, because I gave her brother a TOM-FORD perfume as a Valentine gift, she knows how expensive it is and she told me her brother might only be into me because of my money. Meanwhile her brother only took me out for dinner on Valentine day, I told him not to bother getting me anything because he's saving up for his business investment.

I pretended I didn't hear what she said but I couldn't help thinking about it. I am not very rich but I am quite comfortable with myself, I don't give her brother money but I believe in and like putting smile on people's face, I get him little things I know he might like or need, I decide to take up some little bills at times when we go out and it's all because I understand his situation.

Contrary to what my friend told me, he evidently loves me, he doesn't look down on me even as a student, he values my opinion and he cares about me. My problem now is where my friend got that idea from, she initially told me her brother wasn't going to mess around with me, so why she would say such and why  is she not even afraid of the fact that if I leave her brother, he will definitely take it up with her.

I don't know if I am blinded or short-sighted by the love I have for him, or I am  just being naïve or I should just trust him along with my instinct and ignore what my friend has said. Honestly, I might be young but I am not stupid to sense if a guy is up to something like that which I haven't noticed in him at all.

I really need your opinion.


  1. I think the friend may have just been joking and teasing her. And one should not discount the idea that her friend may have some little envy, especially if she is not as well off and knowing that she cannot afford some of the things like the expensive perfume that her friend bought for her brother. Probably the friend wishes she could afford the same things for herself, or have a BF who can.

  2. It's really hard to give advice when you don't personally know the parties involved but I would like to ask you to please keep your money. My darling, you are a student, freelance jobs or not. A man's welfare should not be your responsibility at this point. I'm not saying you should always be only on the receiving end but please be wise. What your friend said probably isn't true but I would advice that you act like it is. Save your money or invest it. Continue to support him morally and encourage him while he searches for jobs or other opportunities .

  3. Like Thelma said, since we don't know them, there may be details of the triangular relationship we're not privy to. But I will tell this lady to disregard the friends comment unless the issue comes up again. That said, I also advice her to be more circumspect in how she spends money. Her boyfriend is proof that money can be temporary and thus savings are paramount.

  4. Please don't mind her, she's just jealous.

  5. I know this woman is your friend and potential in-law but does she have to know every little detail of what you and her brother does? Us your tongue to count your teeth.

  6. Your friend could be right or could be wrong. The guy sounds like a good person and I don't think you should let suspicions ruin your relationship. What you need to do is evaluate your relationship with this man with the eye of a third party. Is there some truth to what she said? Keep your calm about it though, don't go accusing him.


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