Wednesday, January 22, 2014

[Advice Corner] We're Having Difficulty with Sexual Penetration

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Dear Myne, It's a lovely and mature group of readers you have on your site. Having not had sex for about 7 years I now have a boyfriend. I am nearly 40 and when we tried to have intercourse it was hard to get it in all the way. What do you or your readers suggest we try to get past this. He said I was tight. I have had two children and it didn't used to be like this with my husband who passed away.


  1. Lubricants are cheap enough, no?

    1. Its not about being able to afford lubricants or not. I think she needs help and I'm guessing she may have tried lubricants -which of course is very common.
      I suggest u go see a female gynecologist who will understand both the physiology of what is happening and perhaps, the emotional side. You may have what is called Vaginismus -involuntary tightness of the vagina during attempted intercourse, which may be psychological. Its possible you are yet to heal from the loss you've experienced.
      I pray you get the help you need. Cheers.

  2. It's been a while so first off I think you need to relax completely and be comfortable. Also try lubricants. That should help but if you aren't fully comfortable it can quickly turn painful. G'luck.

  3. Hi

    I also think you need to be more relaxed, especially since it has been a while. Maybe a shower, some fore play and lubricant should be introduced, if you haven't already done so that is. ALso try talking about sex with him, things you like, things he likes and ways to meet each other in the middle. Good luck

  4. I have a slightly difference issue. Please somebody help. I just got married to a virgin who is 37. I am 47. We tried having sex but with some difficulties. We made several attempts, but i could not penetrate or get through. In the process, frustrations set in. We had doses of romances and foreplay which we enjoyed though but that is not the real thing. We used jelly and some advices but all to no avail. I used my fingers ( one, then two) but she always cried in pain. We need counsel to enjoy our sex without frustrations. Please help. I wrote this with the consent of my wife.


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