Monday, May 13, 2013

Facing Facts - 5 Myths About Women and Sex

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by Kristen Mark

There is so much misinformation floating around about women's sexual desire. It is built up to be so elusive, it is no wonder women feel restricted in their expression of it.

As a researcher who focuses a lot of my attention on sexual desire, I think it is important to set the record straight when it comes to misinformation regarding women's sexual desire.

Here are five myths decoded based on the science of desire:

Myth One: Women have lower sexual desire than men.

No! Research has found that women and men are equally likely to be the partner less desirous of sex. This hasn't been found in just one study, either. In my own research alone, I've found a non-significant difference between men and women in three different samples of couples.

Myth Two: Sexual response involves desire, then arousal, and then orgasm.

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Should I Leave or Should I Stay by Ekene Onu

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Sometimes I get the question, should I leave or should I stay. I never give an opinion. I believe you should do as your heart, mind and spirit leads you to. What I do say is this...You can begin the healing process exactly where you are and as you heal and grow, the time will come when you know what to do and find the courage to make whatever choice you choose for yourself.

So how do you begin to heal even in the midst of crappy circumstances? Stop focusing on him(her) and begin to focus on you.

Refresh your spirit by;

1. Reconnecting to yourself. Be quiet. Breathe in and out. Reflect on how God made you and the woman that you still are down deep. I don't care how many mistakes you have made or how imperfect you may seem, you were created by a divine order and not in error. And every day you are given a fresh breath of life. A gift from your creator. Your life is not over. Even if you are constantly in tears...try to remember who you are. And be grateful for that.

2. Reconnect to the people around you. Sometimes we forget that love is all around us. We keep seeking it from one person. And that person may be too damaged to give you what you need. If he cannot or will not love you, it doesn't mean you are unlovable or even unloved. Look around you. Your family, your friends, your children perhaps. Receive their love and give back in return. Cultivate the relationships that feed your soul.

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Ibifiri and Bolaji Kamson - We Make A Good Team

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Ibifiri is the blogger behind Secretlilies, she is also a writer and aspiring author. She writes of herself, "I love motivating people, I love women empowerment, I am a romantic at heart, I love fashion and I love creativity. Things I do: Fashion: Love making handbags. Writing: I love to write, even though I haven't published any novel yet. Reading...I long for days I can lazy about in bed reading a good romance novel. Very relaxing. God: hmmm Love Him. Temi: my knight." Enjoy her marriage avowals;

How did you meet your husband?
After uni we were told that we had to stay at home for an extra year before we could go for youth service, so I decided to be a photographer. Would I say it was fate or what there was an opening in one of the best photo studios in Port Harcourt and I sent my CV, went for the interview and was hired. That's how I meet my husband, turns out the owner of the photo studio was/is my husband. He was scoping me right from the day of my interview..lol

How long have you been married?
25th of October this year, would be 5 years.

How did your husband propose?
He tricked me into going to le Meridan hotel, when I got there, the head staff told me some story that some one asked to see me in the conference room. I wouldn't have gone in the first place but he was so polite that I obliged. Got into the conference room, which already had a romantic setting. I sat down still wondering what it was all about, and wondering who really wanted to see me while thinking that I must have missed the polo tournament. Lo and behold my husband then boyfriend came out from behind the curtains, got down on one knee and proposed. All the staff in the hotel knew about this except me.

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Leonardo DiCaprio is Definitely Not The Great Gatsby

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The Great Gatsby is a great book. I enjoyed it when I read it, a long time ago to be honest, and I am looking forward to seeing it at the cinema soon. Two of the reasons drawing me to this movie version is Baz Luhrmann directing and Leonardo DiCaprio playing the title role.

After falling in love with his portrayal of Jack in Titanic, I've been a fan, and it's easy to think he's the same as the characters he plays on the big screen. That is, until you see pictures like the ones below.

Warning, you might be traumatized. :)


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Sanaa Lathan and Gabrielle Union - Is 40 the new 30?

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Both Sanaa Lathan and Gabrielle Union are over 40 and both women are looking awesome. Definitely, there are more women these days who know how to take care of themselves, and keep looking fit and trim long after the age when some of our mother's generation gave in to the battle of the bulge. When she was listed as one of People's most beautiful women, Gabrielle was asked how she keeps looking so young, she replied;

"I started drinking a gallon of water a day in my mid-thirties. It changed everything from weight maintenance, to hair, skin, nails and digestion."

I've been hearing about the amazing properties of water from everyone recently, from my GP to my hairdresser to my gym instructor. For someone who barely drinks 5 small cups of water a day, its time to amp it up.


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