Friday, May 3, 2013

To Women Who Constantly Complain But Never Change

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By Jai Stone

Dear Sista Complains A Lot: There is something that I’ve been wanting to say to you and I finally think it’s time. I’m hoping that you can hear me over your constant grumbles of discontent. I’m praying that you can put aside your finger pointing, wailing and yammering for just a few minutes and process what I have to say.

The honest truth is that no matter how much time you spend “venting,” whining or complaining, the only person that can change your situation is you. I’m sorry, but it’s my turn to complain. You need to know that talk without action is just a bunch of noise.

If you are reading this letter and you are not sure if it applies to you, there are a few clear signs that you’re a Constant Complainer: If you call your friends and they don’t answer or call you back. When your sister or best friends constantly says, “Are we back on this subject again?” If your Mama always says, “Baby, just let that go already!” Or, lastly, if your co-workers have stopped inviting you to lunch and wrap things up fast when they see you coming. Those are all sure signs that you are stuck on the “Gripes & Groans” station and you need to change the channel fast.

How do I know, well I’ve seen the effects up close and personal. All my life I’ve watched the women around me complain about their lives. They were too afraid or too stubborn to change their circumstances, so they opted to just be angry and complain about them. I watched them as they trudged off to jobs they hated, cussed at kids that hated them and clung to sorry men that didn’t care about them. I watched these women who appeared to be strong cower in the corners of their lives and refuse to step into the light.

POLL - Your Dream Place to Get Married?

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Most of us who are already married either got married either had our traditional marriages at home, and a church or registry marriage. But what if you did not have all those expectations from your parents, family and friends? And what if you had as much money as it took to pay for any venue of your choice? Where would you get married? Fill in the poll and leave more details in the comments...

10 Great Things To Say to Your Husband or Wife

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It is often said that the little things are the most important in a relationship. Equally, couples who have been married the longest will tell you that communication is key to the longevity of their marriages. Another thing that keeps love fresh is simple kindness, which sometimes is not so simple. Remember "love is patient, love is kind"? Exactly!

So for those times when you just feel full of bursting with love and need to let it out, or even when the lines of communication between you and your SO stalls and you need to find something to keep the wheels running smoothly. At those times, here are a few nice things you can say to share the love, or to bring the smile back to his or her face.

1. Thank you - Appreciation, appreciation, appreciation. You'll be surprised how far this goes. It is said that when you thank people for what they've done, then they want to do more.

2. I respect you - Respect they say is reciprocal, but usually people avoid simply saying it. Sure, there are ways to actively show that you respect your SO, like listen to them when they speak, try to put some of their suggestions into what you usually do, etc. However, there are times you just have to say it.

3. I’m sorry - Need I add anything here? When you've messed up, please learn to say sorry. When feelings are frayed and no one is sure who is at fault, be the first to say I'm sorry. But be sincere, and use your senses. If your SO has done something terrible, then let THEM do the apologizing.