Saturday, April 13, 2013

Inspirational Quotes - Everything Good Will Come

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We Should All Be Feminists - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie at TEDxEuston

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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie a renowned Nigerian novelist was born in Nigeria in 1977. She grew up in the university town of Nsukka, Enugu State where she attended primary and secondary schools, and briefly studied Medicine and Pharmacy. She then moved to the United States to attend college, graduating summa cum laude from Eastern Connecticut State University with a major in Communication and a minor in Political Science. She holds a Masters degree in Creative Writing from Johns Hopkins and a Masters degree in African Studies from Yale University. She was a 2005-2006 Hodder Fellow at Princeton, where she taught introductory fiction. Chimamanda is the author of Half of a Yellow Sun, which won the 2007 Orange Prize For Fiction; and Purple Hibiscus, which won the 2005 Best First Book Commonwealth Writers' Prize and the 2004 Debut Fiction Hurston/Wright Legacy Award. In 2009, her collection of short stories, The Thing around Your Neck was published. She was named one of the twenty most important fiction writers today under 40 years old by The New Yorker and was recently the guest speaker at the 2012 annual commonwealth lecture. She featured in the April 2012 edition of Time Magazine, celebrated as one of the 100 Most Influential People in the World. She currently divides her time between the United States and Nigeria.

Solomon Akiyesi and Bigamy in Nigeria

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Solomon and Lilian Akiyesi (First wedding)
I know polygamy is part of the traditional culture in the south, and part of the religious culture in the north of Nigeria, but I thought Bigamy was a crime? So some men who married their first wives by customary marriage could go ahead to take another woman to a court or church for a legally registered marriage, or vice versa. But trying to marry two women through the church sounds a bit risky.

As reported by Linda Ikeji, here and here, Solomon Akiyesi, a Nollywood actor planned to marry a new wife without a divorce from his first wife. The party was cut short when the first wife interrupted the wedding proceedings. Some reports say the marriage will go on after the pandemonium calms down. What did he tell everyone, I wonder? Seperation is not divorce, and I doubt the estranged wife excuse if she's pregnant for the man.  What was the pastor of this church thinking, and even now or was it all a money thing?

Can you see how the would-be bigamist was sweating in one of the pictures like he knew he was doing something fishy?

Adventures of a Miss!! Episode 7

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“Hey babe, something came up. I have a quick meeting that just came up so I’ll pick you up by like 9pm when I’m done.”

That was Bolaji’s voice message; Oh my Lord, what if Zainab did call him and that’s who he is meeting with? What if she tells him everything? I am finished. I should just call him first and spill my guts now before she has a chance to twist the whole story to her advantage.

My phone was ringing again, what is it? Can I live?

Kehinde: “Toke, please can you come pick me up from Seye’s house like right now?”

Me: “What happened? Where is your car? Are you crying? What happened?” She burst out crying.

Kehinde: “Please just come right now to pick me up, I have to go.”

Me: “Ok I’m coming right now.”

Before I even had a chance to remember my own problems, I was already in the car heading over to Seye’s place. I wonder what happened; thankfully he was only about 25 minutes away from me. I called once I made a right turn into the estate to find out if I should bother coming into the house.

“Kenny, where are you? I just turned into your estate, should I come in?”

“NO! I am outside already, just get here please.” She hangs up.

Pregnancy or Baby Before Marriage?

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Paul Okoye with new born child

I doubt if this has always been this way, our parents and grandparents usually got married between 2 - 3 months of being match made. However, when I was in my twenties, I heard from some men that if we got together with a plan to get married, they would like if I got pregnant before the wedding, both traditional and church. This was specifically directed at me by one so-called suitor, but most times it was in general discussions and most men there would also reveal this same wish.

I saw it as a way for some of them to state up front that they wanted sex before marriage, others of course were more plain, they wanted to test the woman's fertility as marriage for them was primarily for procreation and they made no bones about it. Forget the fact that they could be the one with infertility issues, leading to some women who would sleep with other men in order to nab another man with the pregnancy.

Also, with pentecostal Christianity sweeping Nigeria by the time I left the country, I had kind of assumed this would stop the culture of baby before marriage as principles of abstinence were promoted. Then there was also the HIV and STI crisis that also rose up in the early noughties and how condoms and zip up were a big parts of the ABCs of prevention.

So how come this seems to still be a big part of the courtship procedure, and even among the Christians?

Dear Myne - I Like to Do Wild Things in the Bedroom

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Hello Myne, I don't mean to stir the nest, but can someone here tell me if oral sex (and all that stuff) is permissible in a good Christian marriage? I am in the process of getting married and this question has begun to nag seriously on my mind because I like to do wild things in the bedroom. I know because I am not a virgin, although I am now back in God's will and have been for a while. I can't ask this question in Church because I am not sure how it would be received. Very eager to hear what everyone here thinks of this and thanks in advance to everyone who'll give their opinion.


We have  discussed Nigerian men and oral sex here, and what I think the bible says about it here. But what about other wild things, like vibrators, kegel balls, cock rings, edible panties, flavored condoms, even bondage. Should I add anal and whips to the list? Too 50 Shades of Grey? OK, I agree, but what is permissible for good Christian marriages? Let's discuss.