Friday, December 27, 2013

Advice Corner - She Loves Me, She Love Me Not, What Do I Believe?

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Hi Myne, How do you do today and a Merry Christmas to you and your family. I'm not sure if I should be writing this to you but I know you run a romance site according to your profile here... I just need someone I can talk to. I have this lady I was dating for 2 yrs, we are both in our early 30's and we had plans to get married... Somewhere along the line, her elder Sister introduced her to some rich guy.

The guy calls my lady and spends hours on the phone making it difficult for me to reach her whenever I need to say goodnight, when I finally got through she tells me is some guy her sister introduced to her and there's nothing between them. This trend continued over a period of time and it got to a point I was mad at her because of the hours of the night he calls but along the line I decided not to trouble my heart after I prayed about it.

So to cut my long story short, she called me after a while and said to me we can't continue the relationship.. I felt bad, I cried and asked why... All she said to me because I don't earn well. I felt betrayed after all I have done to always keep her happy, from what I earn I do buy her expensive gifts and all...

I accepted my fate after much trying to make her stay.

Not up to a week after our breakup, she still calls to tell me she loves me and she said to me I shouldn't sleep with another woman.

On our last conversation, I told her I was going to see my cousin's friend a female who just got back from the States with my items, so after I was done picking up my items on my way home my ex called and asked if I was done getting my stuffs and if I like the lady I went to see, I laughed and told her I'm not into any relationships now cos I have targets to meet up for next year, during our conversation, her tone suddenly turned cold I asked her if everything was okay and she said yes. So we ended our talk saying we talk when I get home.

On getting home I called her over the phone to find out what went wrong during our last talk, and she said to me I wasn't speaking open, like I had someone with me and I am beginning to like someone else.. 'Wow' I didn't know what to say and I replied her I was alone in the car and liking someone else now is not what I am fishing for.. So she said to me 'I am sorry for acting cold'

So this my open letter to you and your blog readers, I really don't know what she wants from me. Would be glad if you could explain things to me maybe its a woman thing, I really don't know.

Do have a great holidays and any suggestions I will be glad to read from you.


  1. She is really undecided or should i say distracted. Give it some time, watch out for some signs...... you'd know if she truly loves you or not!

  2. She's definitely angling for marriage. I think she still interested.

  3. She is confused. Ask her straight what she wants & stop letting her play with your emotions. Be direct, give her a timelimit, make a decision & protect your heart.


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  5. blessings........
    This gentleman needs to move on with his life. This woman is playing games stringing him along until something better shows up. One thing this man needs to be mindful of is, what you get dating you will get more of married. He needs to ask himself some hard questions, (1) What am I worth (2) What do I have to offer as a potential husband (3) Am I the kind of man I want to be (4) Am I happy with myself (5) Do I love myself, if so what do I love about myself. (6) Do I want to be married, if so what type of marriage do I want, what would it like and feel like, (7) Do I want children, if yes how many and what are the rules and ethos that would he like to have his children raised with. (8) If I were a woman would I marry me, if the answer is no then he got some work to do on himself, (7) Does he have goals and a solid plan on what it would take to accomplish them and how. (8) Does he have a financial plan if so does he have a strategy for saving that would ensure he meet his life plan goals.

    These are key things he needs to understand about himself, once he is solid in that he then needs to go about figuring out the type of woman he wants in his life and ask the tough questions. (1) What kind of woman do I want in my life as a wife? (2) What are the characteristics she must have - make a list (3) Does she have life goals if, so what are they. It’s important he knows what her goals and strategies for accomplishing them are to understand where he will fit in and if it’s a good match. (4) What type of marriage does she want and what would that look like on the daily, (5) how is she wth finances, is she good with money or is she a spend drift (saver or spender), (6) Does she have good credit. This is a key point because if she is in great debt he would be inheriting it once they are married.

    Having a good partner is not only about if she/he is into you enough, each person has to bring something to the table of the relationship to elevate it to another level. It is important that you be evenly yoked or you are locking yourself into hell on earth.

    It is not up to her if she takes him back or if she wants him. The power is in his hand, does he really want her? Does he really want to commit himself to a woman who is indecisive and wishy washy? Does he really want to saddle himself to a woman who doesn't know her heart from her head? If so then again I ask, does he know what he is worth? If not then he will accept whatever she chews up and spits his way.

    If he is reading this, I hope he considers what I’ve shared and be clear that it is not her decision whether or not the relationship reignites it is his because she already made her choice when she ended the relationship. She does not get to dictate what he does, when and with whom.

    Peace and happy New Year.

  6. Please move on. Or you will be stuck in this confusion with the lady for the next ten years.

  7. The lady is not undecided, she's greedy and self-centered. She wants to eat her cake and have it. She wants to have a safety net to fall back on in case it doesn't work out with the rich dude. You obviously love her more than she loves you and she's aware of this, she's taking full advantage of it. It's left for you to decide if you want to let her do so. Personally I don't think she's someone who would stick with you in difficult times if you both get married.

  8. Sir, you have a situation where the woman is bidding her time with both of you. If she asks if you are seeing someone, you are in your right to say it could happen. She has no right to get mad at you for moving on. You ma grow a pair, this is how men get cheated and they start saying all women are the same. Quit playing yourself. If you were a lady, we would tell you to run because your ex is playing games.

    She has told you, she does not want you cause you do not earn well. Get some self respect and find a lady that will be comfortable with the growing you now. Good luck.

  9. Myne, plesse delete these comments advertising their spell caster. They can like to take it to other blogs. Spell kini in 2013, smh for sum pple. I'm so upset.

    To the guy, please read the writings on the wall clearly with your eyes o.

  10. I'm a lady, but excuse my language, I think you are acting like a mugu. You do not owe this chic any explanation. Please let her be. This one is not for you. Focus on the goals you have set for yourself. God will bring you your own. So even if she comes back, are you going to put up with a lady who left you for financial reasons??? Infact you are making me upset...I won't type again.

    Merry Christmas Myne!

    1. Am so with you dear Anon getting upset with you infact! please dear poster you need to cut her off dont call her dont pick her calls dont give her any audience one bit!

      First she talks with another person on the phone while the person she is in a relationship with is on hold?? who does that??
      Then she talks about money and that you dont even have enough it,dealt with your self esteem fa! and then she even wants to hold you to ransom not to meet anyone else! not to even like anyone else?? my good lord JESUS hold me back! lol..

      I swear such person does not even deserve to be your ordinary friend please kindly cut her off and move on sharply! I wish you the best.

  11. Please tell me you have self respect. Please tell me you know your worth and value? I am a grown woman, I see what she is doing, she not happy with herself, has no self respect, needs Jesus and so do you. You can do a lot better than this, this will be your future unless you find what you believe your worth. Would you allow someone to treat your daughter or son this way. She doesn't know what she wants and you allowing her to have her cake and eat it too. She does this cause she can. I pray for her and you my brother, so really do, cause this be the saddest thing ever. God please have mercy upon this girl for playing around and taking a knife to this man's throat every time things not be working out with this other guy, then she go running to you as a comfort blanket, so not cool. Allow God to give you the right wife or woman to come and be your partner, not the one who stab you in the back every time. God Bless You Both! Prayers for both of you, I wish you both the best. Pray for her if you love her. All be possible through God.

  12. Dear Myne, not sure how to contact you so decided to send you this message via your comments section-apologies. :)
    Can you please post on your blog? I'd like feedback from your readers, thank you. :-)
    I was introduced to a guy by a colleague/friend a while back and he sends me text every few days to say hello but he's never called. This has been going on for a while but the conversation never goes beyond that. I try to ask and know more about him but he doesn't seem to get the hint.

    I would like to think he's shy or taking things slow but to be honest, I think he's just not that into me. Is this me being presumptious or do I need to be patient and see if he ever even shows interest in me? I'm thinking of cutting him off and moving on with my life.

    Patient Girl...

    1. i think you should move on with life. if he liked you, he will try to communicated welllll even if it comes across as being awkward because he may be shy. just move on dear , dont push it so you wont look desperate.


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