Thursday, October 24, 2013

Survivor - I Took a Walk From an Abusive Relationship Because I was Losing my Joy, my Happiness

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I've been an ardent reader of RML but this time I've decided to come out and comment because this is where it affects me.The vision God laid in my heart is to fight for abused ladies and help regain their esteem right from a tender age and I feel the time is ripe and my NGO will soon be birthed (still tender though). I have also been a victim of abuse and I agree with the comment [HERE] that 'those that suffer from it isn't because they are weak or cannot fight'.

My supposed fiance was so quiet and introversial, smart, business guru but these were his minus - he was harsh, ill-tempered and would release the most piercing words on the least provocation. I would just withdraw whenever he started his ramblings about how stupid I was or how I didn't have wisdom to tackle issues or in his words, 'wore dresses that weren't suitable to meet his calibre of friends', call my shoe or bag a boat (mind you he never bought me one but kept promising), tell me to get out of his office and stand up and walk me out, point fingers at me in the public in the bid to warn me to never repeat a particular thing and say casually in front of his friends that I was talking nonsense and an endless list of that sort!

I felt maybe I was sent his way to help him and expressed my concern to his pastor who reassured me that he would talk to him and prayed for 'grace' to sustain me in the relationship soon to be marriage but I knew something was wrong somewhere because I was losing my joy, my happiness. I couldn't associate with my friends because he said they were mediocres and he wanted me to operate with a certain class of women to my disgust!

Now another issue which this kind of men have is that they are usually under strong influence from their mum who most times had to undergo abuse but stayed and so expects you to also bear it. He breathes, eats, thinks, talks and virtually worships his mum and if she says, "jump into the lagoon" you can be sure he'd do that and he is so manipulative, possessive and can threaten you on the slightest conversation.

To cut the long story short, I took a walk not without much beggings and pleadings that he would change and actually exhibited some change but how was I sure that twasn't just for the moment, to get me back? So I hardened my heart and fell deaf ears to his pleas and took a walk into my freedom! (So much details I've overlooked)

My candid advise to everyone who finds themselves in an abusive relationship, please take a walk cos it will only take God and The Holy Spirit to change such a man.

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