Friday, October 11, 2013

For Ladies - Making it Less Complex When You Make The First Move To a Relationship

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By Eniola Lawal

To all my ladies in the house! Making a first move to a relationship doesn't particularly mean asking a guy out or on a date, though it is the most outright first move. For those who think it is wrong and its not a noble act, well I say it all depends on your kind of person and mentality, and talking about your kind of person, will you just let it slip by? Why? Because you think the guy should come to you first? What if he hasn't noticed you, or he just doesn't see it? Remember, if you don't make him see it, he won't realize it.

So here's introducing, the "less complex" first move to a relationship. There is this new guy at work you're having a thing for, or there's this guy that comes regularly to the bar or your cousin's colleague or anybody.  If you'll allow me digress, I quite a lot disagree when it comes to office romance, because I believe it kills the spirit of business apart from the fact that some office policies are against it (if you think otherwise though, go ahead).

First of all be sure of what you want to get yourself into. Secondly, be kind enough to yourself to ask questions about this person, does he have someone in his life, is he not a person that's used to having flings and as such mistaken you for one? Bear in mind that if you don't get a positive answer, you'll just be strong and forget about it. If you've answered all properly, then you can try these:

1. Get his attention: Getting his attention covers it all, as I had earlier said, he may not have noticed you, or haven't thought about it, initiate a group lunch that will have him present, offer on neutral basis to help him with something he can't do because he is new around.

2. Remember, you cant afford to let him smell that desperate whiff of, "I have got something for you, can't you just feel the same?".

3. If you hang out socially together, don't be loud, but be conspicuous, initiate simple games which he'll participate in, try your best to beat him! He won't forget it, especially if he's the egoistic one, he'll always look for a way to beat you back and I'm sure he won't settle for draw.

4. Do things at your best, whether at work or play, go extra miles, deliver on whatever you're doing, dress smartly and beautifully than you usually do

5. Be cool, confident and detached, act like you don't care but be extreme fun to be with, its not a must you're the talking type, we all have our ways of being fun!

6. During  these interactions, be your real self, don't feign what you're not, your real personalty is what he's supposed to be attracted to, don't get it twisted.

This is not a tactic that is supposed to kick off all at once, when you try it that way,  it either blow your cover and screw you up, or get you a totally wrong attention from him. In short you should keep it to yourself, you can later give your bestie the gist of your game after it works out.  All these are to help him see reasons to be with you "if there is", and if he lusts after your real personalty, then let the game begin. We all know it takes two to tangle, and affections/feelings must be mutual, if after all he doesn't respond then he has no interest in taking anything to your own destination. Just wipe it off, and you'll be fine.

PS, I always insist, don't try the direct 'I like you and want us to be together' talk because if that doesn't work, it can be a disaster, when you get hit with the word NO. You've probably killed any friendship or professional rapport.

So make it less complex with these tips I listed. Who wants to add some more?


  1. You write good articles, this is another interesting topic.

    1. Thanks Bash for reading. Watch out for more.

  2. Nice write up. Watz ur handle on twitter so I can 4low u plz?

    1. Thank you Ngozi for reading, watch out for more. Here is my twitter handle: @earniewhinez


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