Saturday, August 24, 2013

On Pastor's Sexual Affairs With Church Members - Another Woman's Experience

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I called for a conversation on this topic, and someone called the FB thread I was discussing it on a pity party, and Ese's mention of the word, "abuse" ludicrous. Seriously, can we not see that this man abused his power over her? I wonder, does he also so easily ask women not his church members or in the PCU to book hotels and taxis for him, and chastise them when they drop the ball?

We can call it a consensual affair, and yes it is, but in his position, Biodun Fatoyinbo should know better than what he did. IMO, he has more of a responsibility for this debacle than she does, he is her shephard, no? Her cover, and as a single woman, her 'head' in the eyes of God and even for some legal purposes.

Pastors are men in authority, they stand on the pulpit almost daily and their congregants feel their power as mere mortals fall before them in real or simulated anointing!

The power that pastors wield is even more than so-called big men, because many CEOs and presidents have broken the law to get in their GO's good books. Most pastors are richer than their members, and can use that as a bargaining chip, others know they can provide reference for anything from jobs, to marriage, to business deals and visa applications, and they use that too.

So yes, pastors are men in authority. What we as their church members have forgotten to do is keep them accountable, remind them that they are also under authority. Check out another lady named Franca's experience, feel free to share it, and your own stories as we continue this conversation. Read and let's keep talking...

This story is true. I was introduced to the church in Abuja by my childhood friend, who moved to Abuja from Calabar two years before I did. When I joined, she was also a PCU worker. I really felt welcome in the church up until my friend started having problems with other women. She told me it was because Pastor Biodun trusted her with so many official things even above workers that were there before her. I believed her until the day she had an misunderstanding with another worker who called her ‘Ashewo Mary Magdalene’ in the church.

After that, her enthusiasm for church started waning while mine was getting stronger till the day she told me she was leaving the church and shortly after she left. By that time, Pastor Biodun had developed an interest in counseling me and then started telling me to take my friends place as a PCU worker. I was reluctant because I didnt feel like coming to church early and leaving late but Pastor Biodun assured me that his personal driver will pick me and drop me off and so I agreed.

I started work as arranged but after a while, I noticed that the pastor did not respect personal space when talking to me when we were alone. He would stand soooooo close and rub my upper arms or my back which made me very uncomfortable. The final straw was when he said I should go with him to Lagos to take notes and transfer same online immediately for some Pentacostal thing he was attending and he knew I was very computer literate. I was excited till we reached Lagos and I realized that only one room was booked at the Wheatbaker Hotel, Ikoyi.

Of course I complaint and the Pastor called the front desk ( or pretended to) to demand for another room. He said they would call back when the room was ready. He then told me to help massage his back becos he has back ache from sitting on the flight. I said I was tired since it was already after 8. He then insisted I lay down on the bed to rest while waiting. I said I preferred to sit at the desk and he laughed saying that I was acting like a small girl or a village uneducated girl. He then went in to take a shower. I then called the front desk to remind then about the extra room.

I wasn’t surprised when I was told that they had vacant rooms and that nobody had requested for an extra room. By this time, I knew what was up and was ready for the fool. I opened his pouch and saw his wallet which had his lisence. Took a picture of the wallet and the Lisence on the pillow on the bed with my head in the shot. I opened the door and took several pictures of myself, the wallet and the Lisence with the room number. Came back in, once I heard the shower stop, I started audio recording on my BB. He came out with a towel around his waist and started telling me how attracted he was to me. He said many deregatory things about his wife, calling her a postcard…pretty on the outside but flat and empty upstairs.

He said sex with her was like having sex with a cold dead fish…he tried to kiss me and I stood up, picked up my travelling bag, moved to the door, opened it and quickly took a picture of him, standing with a towel around him. He started begging. I called him all sorts of names and insisted he give me money for a separate room or I would scream ‘rape’. To cut a long story short, he asked me to shut the door, I refused, he brought out 2 bundles of N1000 and asked me to delete before he gives me the money. I told him he was in no position to negotiate.

Got the money, left the Randy goat with a deflated erection and checked into another room. First thing the next morning, I left for ABJ. By the way, remember my childhood friend that introduced me toCOZA? I narrated my experience to her and she confessed that she was sleeping with Biodun for over a year, even on his marital bed when his wife travelled. Oga Pastor, try and deny my story publicly and see American wonder….I still have the pictures and our conversation on tape. Thank God for technology!!!!!! Franca E.


  1. Wow!!!..I read Ese 's story several times on many blogs and some ladies also shared their experiences in the comments...Seriously...I was heartbroken , I dnt knw ese or the pastor....This is all I have observed about today's christianity and this is all I can say;
    You may be a fire brand christian, know the bible, speak with good diction, good charisma..BUT if God has not lead you or ask you to open or establish a church...dnt venture into it...Ministry is not a joke....You have to have Heaven's backing becos, the devil does nt respect your diction, degree and designer wears!!..he respects the anointing of God upon your life!!!...HEll is let loose against you...Jesus fasted 40 days and nights, before he started his ministry..and the Ist temptation,that came his way..he may be a good inspirational speaker, intercessor, evangelist...If God has not called you to Go further than that, dont go oo!!.Today there's are lots of self called Men of God and self backing Ministries!!

    Also, For those that are called Pastors,Bishops ......You are accountable to God....You can fall, but repent and make restitutions...apologize to the parties involve...Seek The face of God, If it means stepping down for a while , do it....Dnt be ashamed....Let God be pleased with you, dont seek for the approval and praises of men..Jesus was a perfect example of humilty..don't eat and dine with sin...YEs, we know you are human, but You are a role model...dnt make the church of God a laughing stock !!!.

    IN ADDITION, CHRISTIANS!!!..God demands a closer and one on one relationship with God...It's funny how some pple can say ''papa says''.. ''mama says''..but they can hardly quote their bibles!!....The biggest problem of christianity today is IGNORANCE'' and not becos the devil is powerful ...When we knw d word of God...we cant be deceived, and we will fall less prey to so many deciets and situations!..

    To the parties involved...If the whole story is true, everyone should all do the right thing !!..I dnt right off people....God's ways are mysterious and unquesionable...God can still use ESE and The pastor as his vessel ..Most great men in the bible fell at one point or the other..The most important is repentance and running away from sin....

    Ese...keep being strong and dnt be discouraged!!..God can make something great out of you!

  2. I love the conversation going on here Myne. I recognise that the word 'abuse' will make many raise their eyebrows but it does exist especially when one considers the 'power dynamics' at play. For victims male or female who were able to speak up or even take action like Franca above. Bravo!! But for most, it takes a while for your brain to connect to the fact that a person you respect so much would do something to harm you or lead you astray. which is where the guilt and shaming comes years after child abuse or after 'consensual sex' as with Ese an adult.

    It is a shame about what has happened and i pray that this public scandal will put make future or potential men of God think twice.
    Its alarming the grooming that takes place. The Devil is really at work. its as if they are grooming succession of concubines. Finish with one, another is already prepared, waiting on the sidelines.
    God help us!


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