Friday, August 23, 2013

Ese Walter's Affair With COZA Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo - The Story of Unrepentant Sinners and Chauvinist Men in the Church

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When someone told me about the affair between COZA pastor, Biodun Fatoyinbo and Ese Walters, as shared by her, I had my doubts. I saw the young good-looking pastor, asked if he was single, and suggested it may have been a relationship gone sour. I then went to read, and as I read the story, I found that the pastor is a senior pastor, was married, and had been grooming the lady, who was actually younger than I thought, for over a year. I moved from doubt and cynicism to clarity and understanding.

This was really the story of a young, vulnerable woman, manipulated by an older man in authority and with power over her. I was really bothered because it reminded me of this other post [Should I tell his Wife He cheated on her with me?], another pastor, another hurting/broken woman, but this time even worse.

After reading, I went over to Ese Walter's blog, and tried to get a glimpse into who she really is through the previous writings on her blog. She is obviously a young woman, still growing, but wanting to do the right thing. I therefore decided to publish both her story of the affair, and her addendum to clarify her stand.

There are many issues intertwined in this story, and it's not just a pastor's sex scandal. It is really about the Godlike status accorded some pentecostal pastors which makes them unrepentant of their sins - they are human after all - and makes them think they are above the laws of God and the Church.

There is also male abuse of power over women, and the chauvinistic response from other men, who either cannot talk to the defaulting man because maybe they think a woman's word/pain means nothing, or they just rap him on the knuckles behind closed doors. We have forgetten the edict, Justice should not just be done, but should be seen to be done.

So read Ese's story with an open mind, and also read Diekola's story. And maybe it is time we begin a conversation on men in power in the church who cannot control their libido and who deceive or manipulate female church members into sexual affairs, guilt trips, alienation from God, and mental pain.

Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo and Ese Walters

I want to talk about something I have kept bottled up inside for longer than necessary. I have also decided to use real names, as my defense for any accusation of slander is justification. I tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but. However, feel free to throw your doubt around but know that I am past the shaming game (where victims of abuse are shot down by blame) I am no longer a victim but a survivor who is sharing her experience to help others caught in same web of abuse, guilt and shame. We only get to live once right? So here, it goes…

I recently came to know this event too was abuse (recently here means about 6 months ago). It has literally been eating me up having to drive by another billboard advertising preachers, or hearing his name, or even trying to ask about the validity of the entire salvation story and whether or not there is a God that truly watches over his people. That being said, I’m just going to say it as it is. This is a recap of my affair with Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of COZA (Common Wealth Of Zion Assembly) Abuja chapter. This affair I have come to know as a form of abuse as you would see the different elements of abuse very present.

I met Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo many years ago. I was getting bored of the church I was attending and someone suggested COZA. At the time, I had never heard about it. My friend said, go there, I’m sure you would enjoy the word. But he also gave me a strong warning. He said he would advice that I remain a member only and not join the workforce. I agreed. The first time I attended COZA, I felt it was my church and decided I was going to plant my ass there. About eleven months had gone by and I was still attending the services quietly and faithfully. I really did like the church. One day a worker in the church approached me that the senior pastor wanted to see me.

Me? I thought. Why would the senior pastor want to see me? Not the second man but the head nigga in charge? Ok na! I started to think my sin was oozing so bad the pastor could tell I needed Jesus. (Poor old me.) I saw him at the end of the second service (they had two services at the time) and he said to me that he would like me to work with him. I knew I had no intentions of becoming a pastor so I had to ask in what capacity. He said he’d like for me to join a department, preferably the Pastoral Care Unit (PCU).

A few weeks later, against my friend’s advice not to join the workforce, I was a PCU member. All of a sudden, I had some status in church. I was ‘somebody.’ Dress had to be on point, hair, shoes and what not… As workers, we were literally trying to outshine each other or so it seemed. Anyways, I felt like I was a privileged member of an elite circle. Hehehe. (It did feel good though, for the most part.)

About a year after joining the workforce, I was on my way to London for a Masters degree program that would last two years. As was the rule for workers travelling, I wrote to say I would be away for 2 years and Pastor Biodun Fotoyinbo asked that I keep in touch by sending him my number and email when I had settled in London so he “makes sure I continue in the faith” because according to him, people loose their faith when they leave home and he wanted to make sure I didn’t. So, on that note, as soon as I got a phone line in London, I was sure to call ‘my pastor’ to say I arrived safe, had settled in and also gave my phone number.

We had spoken a few times especially when COZA started to stream online. I always watched and would give feedback on quality of production and share a little bit on the challenges I faced settling in a new land. One evening, Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo called me that he was coming to London and needed me to help him make some hotel bookings as the person who was meant to do it couldn’t get it done (this was rather strange as I had never been involved in his travel itinerary) Later that day, he said it had been sorted and my help would not be required but that he would like me to arrange a cab to pick him up from Heathrow. I was happy to help my pastor from Nigeria and even saw it as a privilege. (I would later come to learn that all of this was a calculated attempt to hatch a plan that I suspect was set in motion when I was asked to join the workforce.)

The cab guy was there to get him the next day and when he arrived, he called to ask why I didn’t accompany the cab to pick him up (again, this was strange but I stopped my mind from overanalyzing the situation as I knew I had no business with his visit to London) About two hours later, he called me and said he would like to see me. When I arrived his hotel, I called from the reception but he asked that I come upstairs. I got to the room and tried to stop my mind from thinking why I was going to his room. As he opened the door and invited me in, I had to speak to my heart to stop its palpitations. My better judgment asked me not to go into the room but the kind of reverence I had for Pasotr Biodun Fatoyinbo bordered on fear and I steeped into that room.

“Care for a drink?” Asked Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo.

“No sir,” I said.

“You don’t have to be shy Ese, even if it’s alcohol, feel free and order what you want.” I wasn’t sure I heard my pastor asking me to order alcohol. I imagined it was a test and ignored the voice inside that was saying, “I’d have henny and coke please.” He proceeded to ask how I had been coping in London and if I was a committed member of any church. He also said he thought there was something special about me and wanted to know that I had not strayed from my faith. I really thought he had heard I was doing something I shouldn’t while in London but tried my best to focus on the conversation instead of my straying thoughts. He kept telling me to relax and feel comfortable with talking to him. After a few minutes, he asked that we go to the roof of the hotel as his room was a pent suite and had a connecting door to the roof.

While there, he sat on a reclining chair and asked me to come sit on his laps. This was a bit awkward for me and I froze for a moment as I asked why. He said he had told me to feel free with him and loosen up. I found myself strolling to sit on his laps. At that moment, I felt like a little girl who was experiencing something her mind couldn’t fathom. He asked me to kiss him and all I could think about was seeing him preach on the pulpit back in COZA Abuja, Nigeria, which was my home church. He again said ‘feel free Ese.’ And asked again, that I kiss him.

A few hours later, let’s just say, we were rolling under the sheets. It felt as though my mind had paused. I am not saying I was jazzed, (although it’s possible I was in some trancelike state and didn’t know it but I just was so afraid that I couldn’t say or think otherwise.) That was the beginning of this affair. A sexual affair that went on for a little over a week, DAILY!

I can hear somebody’s mind thinking, ‘well, you weren’t raped.” And I remember a pastor I opened up to when I couldn’t take all the mind games asking if I seduced him. No, I didn’t seduce him and no, I wasn’t raped but I felt trapped in this affair. Come to think of it, how could I have seduced him when I wanted nothing from him? I mean, I was too busy minding my business in London trying to get through with my masters program and I was overly comfortable. And even if I wanted to seduce anyone, it wouldn’t be a married man, not to mention a married pastor.

What I couldn’t reconcile the whole time, was how the same person who preached against the very things we were doing (i.e drinking in pubs, fornicating, committing adultery) was the same person endorsing and encouraging it.

At some point, I got really confused about what Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo and I were doing that I had to ask how he handles it. I will never forget what he said to me. He said and I quote, “I will teach you a level of grace that you don’t understand.” My mind couldn’t fathom that somehow grace was enough covering for not just fornication on my path, adultery on his path and the many lies that was bound to follow what we were doing that was clearly abominable. I somehow dealt with the thoughts and fears that followed on my path. He had said to me that he wanted me to be his girlfriend and he would take me around the world and spoil me with money and things. Somehow, money had never been one of the things that motivated me (I am from a home where all my needs have been adequately met) In all my ‘badness’ through finding myself, I never did things I did for money but more of rebellion against rules and authority.

Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo also said to me that he had a dream where I exposed what was happening to the media. Said it was all over the place and that people were calling me the girl that caused chaos in COZA. He also said I should remember the bible said to “touch not God’s anointed.” I immediately started to rebuke the devil and said I could never do anything like that. I was almost swearing with my entire family as I thought really I had touched God’s anointed by submitting my body to be used. Little did I know at the time that all of these were ways to mess with my mind and even manipulate my thoughts.

Fast-forward a few months later, I was back in Nigeria and my church had become uncomfortable. Anytime I sat in church and listened to Pastor Biodun preach, I felt shame. I finally sent him a message saying I wasn’t comfortable anymore. I was confused and needed to talk about what had happened. He said I should meet him to talk and I did. It was a really weird meeting for me especially when he tried to kiss me at our meeting. I finally realized at this point that he couldn’t help me. I thought God was angry with me and I couldn’t pray so I decided to withdraw completely from COZA. This was the beginning of my mental torture. I couldn’t talk to my family because already, I was the only one attending a different church and somehow my mom never liked the idea. As the days went by I tried to use drinking and smoking to cover up the deep shame and guilt I was battling with. But as soon as the high was over, the thoughts came back and I felt stuck like I couldn’t move forward.

I felt I had to talk to someone and I decided to speak to my then good friend, Ernest Akale but unfortunately for me, Mr. Ernest did not have the capacity to hold what I said to him. He broke down completely the days that followed and I found myself having to pause how I was feeling and what I was struggling with to help my friend be strong. After a while, he withdrew from not just me but his then fiancé and friends. I had to then tell the fiancé what had caused it (she suspected we were having an affair so I had to clear the air) To my surprise she was a lot stronger than her man and told me to suck it up (I’m paraphrasing). She said if she were me, she wouldn’t leave the church but stay to torment Pastor Biodun and collect money from him. Ok! That sounded extreme for me, as my intention was not to blackmail but to heal my broken self. Anyways, I finally found the courage to speak to my then unit head who said he was going to talk to Pastor Biodun but didn’t have the liver to do so. Before long, the story was spreading and naturally getting twisted.

I went to a new church and it seemed like the COZA bug had chased me there. The pastor would always refer to COZA as some example and each time that was done, it seemed like a spear was thrust through my chest. One day, I broke down in the service and started crying uncontrollably, as I couldn’t take another mention of COZA and the pictures it painted in my head.

Very long, boring story cut short, for the last 5 months I gave the whole church thing a big space and break. I wasn’t sure I believed in God. I wasn’t sure I understood what it meant when people said ‘Jesus saves” and I definitely wasn’t sure how to deal with the mental torture that was affecting not just me but my relationships with family and friends. I was very unstable, fearful and worst of all guilty. I got a chance to talk to Pastor Folarin of COZA Lagos Chapter, popularly called Pastor flo about everything. I made an effort to reach out to him because I realized the right thing to do was talk to an elder in the church and seek some sort of remedy to a wrong I believed had been done me. Instead, Pastor Flo said, Pastor Biodun had confessed to him and they had ‘talked’ about it and somehow that was supposed to be Ok. He asked what it was I wanted coming to talk to him about it when I did, I told him I realized what happened between Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo and I was wrong and not just that I felt abused and manipulated. I also said I thought it was wrong for Pastor Biodun to go on preaching without taking time to deal with his personal character flaws. I said I thought he was danger to all the young women that attended the church. Come to think of it, maybe he meant if I wanted something monetary or material (as someone had suggested when I opened up to her) but the truth is, I never wanted his money (or is it the church member’s money.) All I wanted was to meet with him and have him accept that he misled me, betrayed his wife and the church he pastors. I wasn’t the only lady in COZA who had been a victim of his sexcapades and manipulative patterns but I was the one who could come back after months of struggle with not just my faith but also my affair with him. And I wanted to set things right. I wanted to talk to Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo maybe for closure and I felt like I needed an apology because he played the “touch not my anointed” card to keep me locked in guilt, shame and fear when all along it was a calculated plan and I dare say, it started when he asked me to join the workforce.

Not to mention the audacity to talk about teaching me a level of grace I didn’t understand. I had no intention of understanding a grace that would permit me to go on doing things that were wrong and what’s worse having to carry the burden for almost a year.

Different surprising advises came up in the weeks that followed the rumour making rounds. I was told to hush because Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo had been a cultist in the past and could send people to shut me up. All my so-called friends in COZA withdrew from me and treated me like I had the plague. What was worse was Pastor Flo finally saw my then pastor to ‘talk’ about what had happened with Pastor Biodun and lied that it happened once and was a mistake. My question then became, ‘do these people even care how broken I had become?’ ’do they care about the emotional and spiritual welfare of the people they were pastoring?’ The sad answer was NO. Most of us old members of COZA kept leaving but they couldn’t care less. What was important was to keep growing the church and having more and more cars with stickers that read “More than enough.”  Back then, I always felt horrible when I saw another car drive past me with the sticker. I was breaking, I was struggling but no one could help. All they could do was ask me to hide so Pastor Biodun’s goons don’t hurt me. And then the interesting one was if I had evidence to prove my claim. Let me just say here that, it isn’t a claim, it’s a confession to free me from all of the guilt and shame I have had to live with for no reason at all. (That being said, I have evidence to prove all I have said here, the latest being a 58 minutes recording of my meeting with Pastor Flo a few months back)

This is my confession and I cannot begin to describe how much weight has been lifted off of my shoulders just pouring the truth out about what went down. So, to all my ex COZA friends gossiping about me, get your facts right. To those who said they’d help me deal with the pain but didn’t, I forgive you, I have learnt how to deal with it and I am doing just fine. To those who fear for my safety saying Pastor Biodun would send people to shut me up, I really have gone past fearing for my life. To live is gain and to die is Christ (or how does Paul say it again?) And to the only person who ever supported me through it all, thank you, I am learning to be brave. Please don’t think I am perfect in all of this but in line with living my authentic life and putting all forms of abuse behind me, this is where I press the stop button and stop the bleeding. This is where I break the silence and call the church to stand up for what it has been commissioned to do. If you will not enter the Kingdom, please don’t stop others who are trying to enter.

I still remember when I used to nurse the idea of digging up emails, text messages, hotel billings (as once I used my card to pay for his room when his master card failed to work) to prove there was an affair. It was pathetic. Why for the love of heaven was I trying to dig up evidence? I am satisfied setting the record straight. I am ready for any shaming or bashing that would follow because the truth is, because of what I have suffered and come through, I am really not moved by what people say or think about me anymore. I am a stronger woman and a damn abuse survivor seeking to connect with other victims of abuse to show them how to deal with the shame, hurt and guilt and how to come out stronger. Turning their mess into their message.

I am Ese Walter and I have gone through all forms of abuse from family, boyfriends, my ex pastor and some strangers not to break me, but so I stand and so I qualify to help victims. My scars have qualified me and when all is said and done, I will still be standing. I AM WOMAN, I BEND, I DON’T BREAK!

And this is her addendum to answer some questions arising;

I want to state first and foremost that I never used the term “sexual abuse” in this post. I have never been sexually abused my entire life. However, I have been on about researching abuse generally because I started to realize the reason I had been how I was was because I didn’t have confidence in myself as a human being and I struggled with self esteem for as long as I can remember. Abuse is not only sexual and what I refer to here is not sexual abuse but psychological (mental and emotional), manipulation and control. These are forms of abuse and this is what I was referring to.

When I joined COZA, I didn’t know my left from my right. I was finding my way and naturally I was drawn to the word and the fact that I thought this was the one church that would help me grow. As for my then pastor Biodun, I really did see him as a god. I knew nothing about God for myself and I wasn’t reading the bible. I felt he was the one that would help me understand and grow. At the time, I had been attending church for less than three years. I will not deny the fact that I lived my life as I pleased all the while I was in University and even afterwards but like every human being knows, there comes a time when you decide to get it together.

Secondly, I am not hurting or broken anymore. The times I mentioned those in the blog, I was talking about what was happening to me at the time. By God’s grace I crawled out of the self-destructive hole I had entered. This experience drove me to dig deeper and understand grace for myself. Not only that, it made me understand how wrong it is to fear ‘men of God’ and even treat them as God. And I dare say, if I didn’t have this experience, I wouldn’t understand what it means to have a relationship with God.
I have asked God for forgiveness, I hold no grudge against Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo or anyone displaying ignorance here or elsewhere. I did what I knew to do as it regards meeting church elders. Not just pastor Flo but others and it seemed no one could talk to Pastor Biodun. As for those saying people will loose their faith, I think that would turn out for their good eventually because when you loose your faith because of man,you would then be able to seek God for yourself and find truth. After all, the bible states that He wishes that ALL men come to the knowledge of truth.

Yes we were both guilty,I have not excused myself from the role I played. I was guilty as sin, however, I have come to know better. If you know anything about low self esteem, you would understand why it went on for as long as it did. Looking back, I think I expected him to know better than me but I know better now. That being said, the whole affair ended because I put my foot down. He made all sorts of propositions to me when I returned to Nigeria but I was looking to heal and move forward.
My aim with this blog is to show other ladies who suffered same fate at his hands both in Illorin and Abuja (some of whom have emailed me but are still trapped in guilt and shame to speak up) that there is nothing to be ashamed of. The clout he has over people can cause them to do thoughtless things but in the end, it’s all out there and I am at peace with myself and with God.
For those calling me a liar, please ask Pastors Biodun Fatoyinbo and Flo if I have lied. I rest my case!!!






40 comments:

  1. What an incredibly brave woman! Is it sad to say that I'm not surprised by her story? I have known two pastors with similar weaknesses, and they were enabled by the elevated status on which I and other church members placed them. Since that experience, I have stuck with small, simple churches; pastored by men who have no airs, who don't have 'bodyguards', 'aides' or 'Bible-carriers'. Simple men who are humble and who don't hold themselves above God's laws. Ese's healing is the most important thing I've taken away from this story and I have to say that God and His angels are rejoicing for a lost one who has now been found. However, they are still weeping over Pastor Biodun...

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  2. When I hear stories like this, I know it is just the tip of the iceberg, so many ladies have been hurt by men like this, and it continues to happen. I am a victim, the pastor who dated me was not married then and he was not a senior pastor, but he kept pressuring me for sex so much, and with the little we did, touching and all, I almost lost my faith. I had to leave that church for my sanity. He later got another choir member pregnant and he did not marry her.

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  3. I don't blame her. I too did same when it was becoming too difficult to bear. I admire her courage and wish her well.

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  4. I hope they used a condom because Mr Pastor has most likely been dipping in many pools.

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  5. People need to stop putting these men (and women) of God on pedestals.
    They are ordinary people. We all have the authority and ability to tread upon serpents and scorpions.
    When people realize this, their power to manipulate goes puff in the sky.

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    1. That is the problem, people act as though these pastors were sent straight from Heaven. No pastor has any special access to God than any other person on the planet. The Bible says "I am not a respecter of persons", simply meaning every single person have the SAME access to God. The Bible told us to "TRUST NO MAN" for a reason.

      I am very proud of this young lady of great courage. Ese, I hope your work bears fruit. Keep doing the wonderful work you are doing to help women who have been mentally and emotionally taken advantage of by these satanic pastors.

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  6. Funny so many comments on other sites are blaming Ese and condemning her for speaking out. Some are making excuses for the pastor and why he fell into sin, but they do not cut the same slack for Ese. What am asking is, if Ese has confessed and repented her sins, what is stopping the pastor from doing same?

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    1. Nothing stops the pastor from doing the same. But I think she expected more from the church leadership.
      It's a dicey situation really because too harsh a disciplinary action by the church leadership puts an emphasis on the sin and not the ready forgiveness that we have from God.
      What I like about her post is it forces people (who want to hear) to rethink their obsession with pastors. Maybe a compromise would have been to write the story with descriptions but not name the pastor.

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    2. Why should she not name the pastor? what's so special about him? You're no different from the other pastor worshippers. No emphasis on sin, forgiveness your ass! Make una all dey deceive una sef go! You all need a brain transplant from your sickening brand of christianity.

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    3. oh shut up anon 12:30 .... did you read the part where I said maybe a compromise? And FYI it was in response to anon 11:00. And FYI again, I wrote the comment at 10:35AM so I'm definitely not a pastor worshiper. However, there is not one solution to a problem. We put heads together and think well maybe this maybe that. Maybe there could have been a better way to mitigate it. My not naming has to do with comments about shaming his wife.
      Use your brain and not your emotions. Comment rationally. How old are you?

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    4. Nigerians can be such hypocrites sometimes. if this was a politician we would be screaming blue murder but because he's a pastor there should have been a better way??? did you not read where she wrote that she reported this to other pastors and they did nothing? please, these people are MEN before men of God. with them, anything is possible.

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    5. @ Anon 1:47PM
      Shut up right back! The likes of you would rather keep it hush hush abi? Touch not my anointed. bla bla bla. There is no negotiating on this. No 'keeping it in the house and settling', you hear!!! It's one murky business to be exposed so other idiotic pastors know their days are numbered. What has age got to do with this? Ode oshi!

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  7. The thing is. Ese's story didn't strike me as a repentant confession. More like a "here's what happened". Notice she didn't once. not once mention any regret she felt for publicly shaming his wife and children. she confronted the church elders about it, which was the right thing to do. But she didn't like their response so she posted it on a blog....
    how would YOU feel if your husband cheated and the girl he cheated with told the whole internet? you'd be mad at both of them non?
    all i can think about is the poor wife and poor kids who have to read this story that is now viral all over the internet. i wish they'd agreed to resolve it in private. As for the 'abuse of power' bit...i reserve that term more for leaders who FORCE girls to sleep with them, not consensual participants. At the end of the day, most women in the world are attracted to older men in power. nothing new about that. you see it everywhere. unless we suddenly think most relationships in this world are abusive.
    and yes, it may seem like people are only criticizing ese, but remember she's the only one who has said anything so far. let's watch what happens when the pastor confesses.

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    1. I get your point but remember that to whom much is given, much is expected.
      You can confess and repent but should you remain in that position that you misused?
      I think that's the question here. I think the girl rightfully expected more from the church leadership.
      If the pastor was my husband, the embarrassment wouldn't matter as much as pleasing God with our acts.
      Sincerely, I would ask him to apologize to the girl and I would ask him to make sure he gets it right with God and I think a measure of repentance when you are in a high position is to display some humility (not to please man but God) and not hog that power that made you go astray. I make mistakes as a Christian no doubt and I think that if I misused a position God has given me, along with repentance, I would leave that post for God's sake.
      Also you can tell from his statement that it wasn't a new falling. When a man starts talking about a higher level of grace, he has strayed faaaaaaar.

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    2. I would thank that woman! I would thank her for showing to the world what a demon I have for a husband and father of my children. Don't you think the wife already knows the manner of man she is married to? The wife and kids have no shame to bear because they did nothing wrong.

      He is a public figure, a spiritual leader at that, and so his failings should be just as public. Until these pastors know that they will be held publicly accountable when they do misdeeds, then they will never stop. Imagine some poor widow giving her last penny to pay tithes and this man using it to wine and dine his mistresses. A church that frowns upon alcohol, and yet he is living this double life encouraging a young woman to order an alcoholic drink. Adultery being a grave sin and he is freely committing it. He is an A-class hypocrite, a viper, making a mockery of the Christian faith and using people's money for his own enrichment.

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    3. let's chill out a bit. I think it is taking it too far to say the man is a demon.
      Struggling with demons maybe .... ain't we all in one way or the other?

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    4. I will use any term I wish to, I have that free will. Please use yours how ever you choose. He is more than a demon, luckily I used a half-decent term, than calling him what he truly is! When you have chosen to be a spirtual leader then the life of Christ becomes your earthly example of living, and you embody that completely, not just talk and sing about it.

      Pastors do not get the privilege of falling along some paths. We all have failngs, but some failings a spiritual leader cannot afford to make. Doctors are held accountable if they practice bad medicine, they are called quacks. Pastors who practice bad faith are worse than the devil himself, because even Satan has standards.

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    5. Actually a doctor is not called a quack when he practices bad medicine. A quack is someone who has no training or qualification to practice medicine. A doctor who practices bad medicine might have his license revoked but that cannot wipe away his training or knowledge.
      The irony is that you are making the same mistake that Ese made. She placed a man of God on a pedestal. YOU might be a saint but fact is a spiritual leader can and will make mistakes. THE POINT IS THAT HE SHOULD BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR IT JUST LIKE LAYMEN.
      You can shrill all you like but if that man asks God for forgiveness, that is it although it doesn't make him less accountable. Thank God my God is not human like you.

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    6. Thankfully for my saintedness whatever pain I have caused to any person as an adult it is SOLELY to me. I can sleep freely at nights knowing that no tears are on my shoulders, that is freedom. I am a pantheist first of all, so I place no human on a pedestal. Thank God MY God actually lives in me and my compass through life is my conscience. Let those who want to be a rudderless boat and have the all-safe fall back of forgiveness from their God to commit their sins, do that.

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    7. Mr/Ms pantheist, I recommend a Stephen Hawking youtube marathon this weekend. A pantheist who believes that every man has God within him and who mocks the all-safe fall back of forgiveness from a Christian God yet believes that pastors are infallible. I see. This is a man who isn't supposed to be different from all others who have God living within them and yet he is held to a standard different from these others?
      Anyways, to begin with, the objection was to calling the man a demon (by the way you believe in those?) but your knee-jerk response derailed the point of that.

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  8. I weep,not for now,but for then
    heal,baby,heal more
    be strong.bend,yes,but never break.
    U are woman
    u are free.
    I do'nt know u,bt i love u so.for conquering and breaking that vicious cycle of crazy thoughts,shame and guilt.
    God bless u and keep u.stay strong!

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  9. Not trying to defend anyone but this story could be false... Let's verify before we condemn

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    1. This thing happened two years ago, many church member have commented that they heard of the story. What no one heard was that the so-called pastor was called to order or repentance. Until COZA or the pastor speaks out, they have my condemnation.

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  10. LOL. Y'all are so funny. He didn't force her,did he? He is wrong and she's wrong. Did she get a convivtion from God to publicize this? She didn't think. She's venting the wrong way. God help them both.

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    1. So if she said she got a conviction from God, will that make it OK? It is your type that believe every word from your pastor because he says its from God. Msheww...

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  11. This happens everyday- in schools, campuses, workplaces; we all pretend as though the church is not part of society. The church is not heaven on earth and your pastor is not christ. Ese as an adult, you messed up big time, your pastor messed up even more. I guess your fake pastor's wife should be grateful to you for having an affair with her husband and even forgive you for broadcasting to the world. I perceive you are still a deeply hurting woman, you have not helped your case nor advanced the cause of womanhood. The person who truly needs all these your info is the pastor's wife. And you should seek her forgiveness, so God can forgive you too. As for your pastor, he is only digging his own grave.

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  12. I find the entire story utterly disgusting, disgusted by Ese’s actions and this so-called man of God. I can’t be sympathetic to stories like this. Nigerians are big hypocrites. We claim to be religious yet there is so much moral decadence. I’m glad she says she isn’t calling this sexual abuse. We need to revisit the reasons we choose to go to church. Church has become a centre for showing-off wealth, socializing and idol worshipping. These days especially amongst the young generation, they are looking out for “hip” places of worships, pastors who’ve got swag, pastors who speak with phoneh. At the end of the day we fail to see that these so called men of God, are just mere men…they have weaknesses like everyone else and it is foolish to place them on a pedestal. Anyone can tag themselves as “God’s anointed”. We need to seriously wake up! I’ve heard so many people rationalize their foolishness with that ‘touch not my anointed’ phrase, you have seemingly learned individuals been cowed into worshipping pastors. We’ve lost the essence of having a relationship with God which shouldn’t be dependent on your pastor or your place of worship. Really sad situation we are facing in this country. I can’t bring myself to seeing any need for gender discourse here, it beats me how a graduate can so impressionable.

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    1. Best comment here.

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    2. GBAM!! Spoke my mind almost word for word.

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    3. You spoke my mind. Both parties are guilty. He abused his office and she subconsciously knew what she was getting into when she slept with a married man! happy she is out though.

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  13. I just had an experience too with a Pastor that is here heading a big Nigerian church founded in the UK. The pastor actually called me to tell me a member came to tell him that she's my husband's girlfriend and she feels guilty coz she sees me but he didnt want me to tell my husband. To cut a long tail short, I was not willing to share a secret with the pastor about my husband, it just didnt sit well with me. my husband was not attending the church with me at the time but fter that I got him to come to church with the understanding that the pastor would help me deal with this because I insisted it needed to be discussed and then we need councelling which he point blank refused. After a month of him ducking and diving I started suspecting there was no truth to this. I finally told my husband what happened.when my husband confronted him it really turned out there was no such. He even denied having called me for a meeting to tell me this. Now I am left wondering what was the man's real motivation? What secrets is he keeping with other women about their husbands and what relationships is he having with them. How could a man of God expect me to keep mum over an issue as fundamental as this? Chai these pastors we can go on and on about them.

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    1. Imagine that. What else could have been his real motivation except for an affair? Thank God you didn't get entrapped in his web.

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  14. Anon Aug 23 @ 11.31am, what if this were a politician, university lecturer, musician or Nollywood actor, will you maintain your stance?
    You are a pastor worshipper of the highest order

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  15. This and that.. My Opinion?
    1. It takes 2 to tango.
    2. Entirely consensual
    3. She wants d world to know, looks to me like a hit-back. Is she sorry? Now that's between her and God.
    As for Pastor Biodun, we may never understand his silence. Operating on a higher level of Grace? hmm.. 1 Peter says Judgement will 1st begin from d house of God and Hebrews says it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. Humanly speaking, his condemnation is greater but he might have settled himself with God. Abeg o.. Let him who is without sin be the first to cast the stone.

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  16. There will always be people who will defend a pastor even if he kills right in front of them.
    I am proud of Ese Walter. This is the very reason i dont like all these church worker business.

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  17. It beats me when some of you talk of healing to Eseor that she's a brave woman bla bla. It was very obvious that the lady was not a true christian (or believer), she encouraged this whole thing. I really admire a lady that narrated her encounter with a pastor who wanted to sleep with her but she picked up her bible and started preaching to the so-called man of God who then felt ashamed. She told the friend who introduced her to the Pastor, when being confronted of course he denied it. The lady left the church.
    Now this lady acted like a true believer; she didn't have to go public about it like the Ese girl did neither did she encourage any illicit affair with the pastor as he had wanted.
    Why then should people encourage a girl who slept with a married man and a pastor for that matter, daily for a whole week?! Was she hypnotized or mesmerized? Or was she at gun-point? Please let's be reasonable here.
    The pastor is not justified here but i think it's best we allow God to judge him since He ordained him. What Ese and the general public is expected to do is to pray for them. They are humans but some of them do not realise that the flesh is expected to be mortified when you attain a certain level in Christ.Please pray for those who are in such pastoral offices so they would be strengthened with might by his spirit and complete the work of the ministry.
    Come to think of it, this is really the signs of end-time. Did it ever occur to her that by going public alot of christians' faith would grow cold. Hmmm, beats me!
    Why is it always the pentecostals spreading their dirty linens in public? Have you ever heard of (i.e a catholic reporting such incidence about their catholic priests and reverend sisters?) People please let's be guided rightly!

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    1. Don't be an ignorant person, this is not a competition between Ese or another lady, or about the pentecostals and catholics. By the way, have you not heard of the damning cases of sexual abuse of young boys against the Catholic priests around the world? Educate yourself please.

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  18. I have been reading social media comments on this issue and I guess I am not surprised with the "touch not my anointed" approach of some Nigerians. It's clear as to why some Naija pastors act like demi gods!The church members enable them...FULL STOP. Pastor slap girl , congregations says "touch not my annoited", Male pastor molests teenage boy, same old "Touch not my anointed. It is truly sickening that people can make excuses for these shameless men!

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  19. i just want to say that both pastors and their sex slaves should be reprofed. most ladies in this kind act are also to be blame. what were they doing in such a church the very day they suspectted the lustful or immoral move of so called pastor? it is one thing for someone to lure you into immorality it is another thing to say no or yes. there many ladies who are highly anointed tand purposely sent to churhes to seduce young pastors and to destroy their ministries by exposing them after they might have completed their satanic mission. there are also many highly anointed so called pastor who are out there to destroy loose and indecent ladies. my suggestion here is that whenever you sense lustful move of any so call pastors leave the church and run for your life before you are ruin

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