Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Dear Myne - My Christian Boss is Sexually Harassing Me, What Shall I Do?

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Am also a victim of this, but I've got no pastor, friend, sister, brother, nor fother to confide in. My mum kept silent when i complained to her about her pastor's sexual advances and abuse. As a single mum its hard raising my child alone. I've got a job as a back up singer in a christian oriented music studio but am been threatened with sexual advances by the boss who is married and happens to be an elite figure of Christianity held in high regard.

With his expressions and desires to know me i told him of myself and my status then he started showing sexual interest towards me and at the same time making me believe that its sheer favour he allows me a space as a singer in his studio that on a normal ground am not needed.

He made me to understand this and i was grateful he considered me and calls me for jobs. Now he threatens my only source of livelihood and he abuse my body to satisfy his urges and some times he resort to rape. I cant lose my job or i wont be able to care for my child, but the damage to my person is infecting.

I refused further abuse from him now he wants to take my job from me. Even the roof over my head is threatened. All i want is to hurt him back and cause him the pain his caused tell his wife and expose the beast beneath his cool cover. How can i do this?


My response;

Dear Anon, I'm so sorry for your pain and the terrible time you're going through. What you really need is someone to unburden yourself to, and I believe your relief has started as you shared this story with us. Do not dwell too much about hurting this man, telling his wife may not even hurt this man, and may hurt her more, but she does need to know, even if not from you.

Start looking for another job, and then expose him by simply telling as many people as you know, at your church, and at the studio. Also, since there is rape involved, you can also talk to the police, and Project Alert if you're in Lagos.

PROJECT ALERT - 21, Akinsanya Street, Off Isheri Road, Taiwo Bus stop (Behind FRSC) Ojodu - Berger, P.O.Box 15456, Ikeja, Lagos, Nigeria, 08052004698; 08180091072


  1. You do not have to take it! When you do the right thing, God will make things right for you. Let love for God and your Child, wanting to be a good model for your child and secure a good future motivate you.

  2. Please don't endure this abuse any longer. Report this monster.

  3. Myne you forgot to tell her to gather PROOF PROOF PROOF
    Then share your story with the world. The man is evil. There is no consensual sex here when you threaten a person's livelihood to get what you want.

  4. .Please does the christian boss in question has someone he answers to....Go with your mum or someone in your family that understands and report him....Please don't ever try to yield or sit on his laps...Things like this never ends well. Infact if you know his wife....report him to his wife, don't go alone to report o. Take one of your brothers or so along. Its either you report him to his wife or spiritual mentor....summon up courage and report him.Don't ever say Yes to him.

    1. ahn ahn didn't you read the story? She has already said that she does not have brother, sister and her mother refused to be involved. And did you read the part where she said he has already RAPED her.

    2. And what will reporting him do? They will tell her to forgive him and move on and he will do the very same thing with his next employee.
      When men coerce, rape and abuse their positions, we need to start exposing them. Not because we rejoice at their falling but because we don't want someone else to fall victim. That is the reason there is a sex offender database in the US - so you can beware of repeat offenders.

  5. This is so nt fair...Like myne stated above, go and look for a good job [Make sure the man is not aware of your plans}....nd look or think of a way to expose him ....Rape is one of the worst thing that can happen to a woman, his next victim might be a kid ..I usually dnt like ladies involving men's spouses in dramas and all dat, but in this case ,she needs to know..whichever way..RAPE is too much!!...Just be strong, get a job and run away from the abuse!!

  6. No offence but parts of the story does not make sense. How do you still go back to the place to work after he RAPED you, I understand Nigeria is tough place to get jobs; but I 'll rather hawk Ankara on my head than put up with that. 2 nd why is he threatening your housing, unless he paid for it. Which if he offered you should have never accepted, no married man should be footing the rent of another person I don't care how generous they care to be unless he is a close relative. worse come to worse move in with a relative or your parents why you sort yourself out. House of Tara is training women in the art of makeup artistry to help them become independent although there is an initial fee. If I'm wrong in my above assertion my sincere apologies. May God guide you.

    1. the roof over her head is threatened because if she doesn't have a job, how will she pay her rent? You have to be in that position before you know whether you will rather hawk ankara.
      The story makes sense to me because I have come across several women like that. Plus remember she is a single mother. When she is faced with school fees or food prices, she will wipe her tears and go back to work.
      And sometimes when these things happen, these women become mentally helpless due to no fault of theirs. Life can seem hopeless. It doesn't help when some say it's your fate in life.

    2. @Anon 4:11 Until you have walked in someone's shoes, be gentle before doubting or judging them.

  7. PLEASE, gather proof, enough, either by video recording or audio recording with your phone, or plan with trusted friends.
    As for jobs, if you could relocate to Ibadan city, God will surely help me provide one for you.
    But please, expose him. PASTORS ARE NOW BEING EXPOSED HERE & THERE.

  8. Let me begin by saying my heart goes out to you. It is a shame that self-professing Christians are allowing themselves to be used by SATAN himself. You said you do not have a pastor which leads me to believe you may not be a born-again believer yourself. I ask that you commit your life to the Lion of Judan, Jesus Christ, who is beautiful for all situations. He will lead, guide and protect you from all evil. Your soul is of paramount importance and if you die in your sins, you will have yourself to blame and no one else.

    That said, in my younger days, I was harassed by the vice principal at my secondary school, my thesis supervisor and so forth. To this day, my greatest regret in life is that I did not expose them for the low lives they were (probably still are). I was scared of the consequences; I felt no one will believe my stories. I have since realized that the greatest weapon in the hands of the oppressor/predator is the silence of the oppressed/victim. EXPOSE this man immediately by going to the people he answers to. If it costs you your job, believe in the Lord and he will reward you for your uprightness and penitence. You are worth more than you are getting from this man and one can only imagine the dejection/depression this ordeal is causing you.

    God will see you through if you choose to end the abuse and sinful lifestyle today. Trust God because he is no man's debtor. He is a rewarder of all who diligently seek him. God bless and keep you as you choose to extricate yourself from this web and stand for righteousness and decency.

    Best wishes!

  9. The fact that you are pained at this evil forced upon you by this lecherous unchristian boss is the same pain you would pass through if you leave the employment and is not able to get another job in time. To invite God on your side, you need to confess your acceptance so far to your priesthood leaders (pastor). The job has already been lost. After a few more sexual intercourse with you, he would be tired and would recruit another younger girl for the same purpose and you would lose your job anyway. So if you ask me, no amount of fear should keep you in that mental torture and spiritual bondage you are presently in.

  10. my sister are you sure that you did not encourage this by provocative dressing and suggestive body exposure? if your answer is no then i will advise you to leave the job so that you can keep your dignity and honor. God is able to give you another job. but if you are the one seducing him by your lifestyle then do something about that.men are moved by what they see,please i am not justiying his action niether am i judging you. even if you leave the job for another one and your mode of dressing is such provocative be sure that you will never escape the same elsewhere. stay bless.


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