Monday, August 26, 2013

Dear Myne - I Made Out With a Friend, Should I Tell My Fiance About It?

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I made a stupid error. My story is a bit complicated, but will try to make it plain. we was introduced online and gradually we became very close and now in a long distance relationship. During the past 1 year of the relationship, I have been faithful, avoided guys and stayed loyal to him.


Am moving back home from across the country in a few weeks, and finally we will get to have a serious relationship..He already proposed. However, last week Sunday, I visited my male best friend, in his attempt to console me on an issue, we started kissing. We made out (heavy petting) but nothing more.

Now am so racked with guilt. Should I tell him of my indescretion? He once told me, he would never forgive a cheating woman. I know I was wrong, nothing justifies my action, am very sorry. No, am not in love with my bestfriend, he is my go to person for a lot of things. He knows about my boyfriend and he is also very sorry.

My boyfriend constantly tell me of how he is fighting temptations and keeping loyal to me, and now..I just feel so bad. We meet in person for the first time in a few weeks, knowing I betrayed his trust is making me so sad. Maybe telling him will free me of this burden of guilt.








20 comments:

  1. Confession is rili good for the souls. Pick a gud time and tell him. If he rili luv yu he will forgive.

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  2. The major reason having someone of the opposite sex as a best friend is a no-go area - especially when you are in a serious relationship. Hope you'll reconsider the friendship after this incidence.

    That being said, you have to confess to your boyfriend or else you'll be imprisoned with guilt and fear as prison mates :)

    All the best.

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  3. Tell him what? To what purpose? Abeg. Deal with ur guilt & let it go.

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  4. Are you sure you're not in love with your bestfriend? If you are really not and this was a one off mistake then there is really no need to tell your boyfriend If you really continue with your relationship. Forgive yourself and move on. And you have to reconsider your friendship with your bestfriend.

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  5. *if you really want to continue with your relationship

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  6. you better shut ur mouth oh else you will see the beast in him come out

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  7. You better take that guilt to the grave!

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  8. Tell him???? for what ... instead cut off your friend and move forward. If I were in your shoes. I don't think I would want to know. This is superficial wound, the deeper wound is why are you making out with your friend and JEPORDIZING a relationship with your FIANCE and your relationship with your bestfriend? The deep rooted issue is do you really want to be with your fiancé. .... as matter fact TELL HIM so he can leave you. You clearly do not know what you want. I wish my other half would have a girl best friend... I'd sever that immediately. Not because I am insecure but more so to prevent human nature like mistakes, such as the situation you are currently in.

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  9. Are you sure you're not in love with your bestfriend? If you are really not and this was a one off mistake then there is really no need to tell your boyfriend If you really continue with your relationship. Forgive yourself and move on. And you have to reconsider your friendship with your bestfriend.

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  10. Tell him how? Pray for forgiveness from God and ask him to free you from all guilt. God will forgive cos he's merciful, but your bf may or may not forgive you. Some things are beTter left unsaid biko. Peace.

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  11. I'll join those who say, don't tell him. #noneed

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  12. If you know you cant deal with guilt nd all dat...TELL HIM......The truth might piss people off, but it does set people free too..Yes, he will be angry , might break up with you !!!..But I believe so much in the saying ''whatever will be, will be''!.If you guys re meant 4 each oda, you will both find your way back 2 each oda..You knw urself nd hw u feel....just do wat u knw its best !

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  13. Not only to free urslf from d guilt. Things apen. Ve u wondered wot if he gets to find out somehow tmao. Yes,I know peep ll say he wont find out if u keep mute,bu we neva can tell. Try to think of it,mayb afta marriage,he gets to know dat his supposed adorable and faithful wife dd sth lyk ds. Trust me, it wud be more disastrous den. TELL HIM NOW! But @a very good time. To,free ur self from d guilt, to know for sure dat he's d one. If he rili loves u, though it ll be hard,he ll forgive u. Bu if he doesnt, den move on wt ya lyf. U'll be free den, afterall twz a mistake and ur sori. Pls, tell him!

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  14. Somethings are better left unsaid,the sonner we realise that the better for us.

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  15. Confession would do you a lot of good. It helps you deal with the problem from the root. And you come out a better person. I hope your fiancé understands!!!

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  16. I think there is notin 2 confess here,the most important thing is that u 4give urself nd move on with life, d deed has been done,wat if u tell ur fiance nd he reacts negatively?be assured that even afta he 4gave u,he won't trust u anymore,tink abt it

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  17. BIKO DON'T TELL HIM OOO...NOT TELLING HIM MEANS YOU RESPECT HIS FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS AND YOU MAY EVEN LOSE THE TRUST HE HAS FOR YOU.SOMETIMES SOME TRUTH ARE BETTER LEFT UNTOLD. BUT WAIT OOO,,,IF IN THE FUTURE HE DISCOVERS NA? U DON ENTER GOBE ESPECIALLY IF HE'S AN UNFORGIVING DUDE.

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  18. Please tell him o. If not for anything but for your peace of mind. It happened to me too actually and it was because my ex decided he wanted to get closer to God and then refused to speak with me for over two months. Of course I felt it was over and got closer to someone else and the petting happened. I told him and he said he forgave me only for him to come back a few months later that he couldn't handle such cos what was the assurance that if he did something nasty in future I won't repeat it. I blamed myself for telling him but on the other hand, I thank God I told him cos he wasn't the right person for me. Just tell him and if he forgives you great, if he says it's over, well, move on! As long as God forgives and u are guilt-free, you are good to go girl!

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  19. I join d number of people that say u shld not tell him bcos there is noting to confess,I once found my self in ur shoes,I travelled wit someone while coming back I felt so cold nd I layed my head on his shoulders (my friend),before I knw wat was happening OMG we were already smooching ourselves,I could not face my husband bcos I felt guilt seriously,I felt like telling him,to worsen d matter I went to counselling to see a pastor he told me there is noting wrong instead I shld fall in love with him d pastor,I sought help in another man of God he counselled me nd adviced me to move on,nd dats exactly wat am doin,I ve tried forgetting d person nd my life is back to normal.its a matter of time u ll get through d guilt.if u tell him u only destroy d trust he has on u.after all u didn't have sex with him jst kiss,my dear move on.

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