Sunday, August 25, 2013

Biodun Fatoyinbo - Don't Try to Man In-between, Say the Truth or Keep Quiet

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So, the conversations have continued, including funny memes like this picture above. One of my friends said the conversations better also be happening at "church, at Bible studies, at women's groups EVERYWHERE." and I dare say it must be. Biodun Fatoyinbo tried to add to the discourse but couldn't take a stand. Like writer Puis Adesanmi posted on Facebook;

"Biodun Fatoyinbo offered a ko s'eku ko s'eiye response to the sex scandal from the pulpit today. Hear him:

"I'm sure you read somethings about me in the social network. I've been receiving calls from different people even big people in government... They have been advising me; 'don't talk, we understand'.

Read my lips: Because I know that there are people here that are not part of us:

We are going to speak but we are consulting. We'll come out with a robust reply.....but for now...we ask God he said 'don't talk'.... My destiny is not in anybody's hands..."

Now, I don't like this one bit. I don't like this potential set up for an "I cannot disobey God and offend eminent people" alibi down the road. For if God advises a Pastor not to speak, why put God on notice that you intend to disobey him and disregard his advice down the road with a robust reply? If God says not to bother talking because he understands fornication, isn't this a window to saying obedience is better than sacrifice along the way? Similarly, when big government officials - the juiciest tithe demographic for prosperity gospel churches - say, "don't talk, we understand", is it not risky to offend them by talking? I don't like any of these clever undecidabilities. It is better to pull a Creflo Dollar or an SLS in these circumstances. When Creflo Dollar had a bust up with his daughter and ended up having a police mug shot, he manned up and addressed the issue squarely, firmly, and decisively on the pulpit at the first opportunity. When Premium Times went to town with tales of SLS's indiscretions, he manned down and decided that discretion was the sweetest part of valour. He did fem fem. He couldn't risk challenging our folks at Premium Times because he had no way of determining what else they had - with proof. You man up or you man down - those are the two straightforward and laudable options. Don't try to man in-between."

I totally agree with Pius.If you're reading this and your conscience has not rested since this story broke because you have found yourself in similar situations or know others who have and the pastor involved is still standing on a pulpit without repentance, don't be browbeaten by the likes of Biodun Fatoyinbo who want to use God to hoodwink others.

I want to share with you these thoughts from another friend.

"Somewhere in the world right now, a church member is staring at their pastor and wondering if there is an Ese Walter in his/her life. Somewhere in the world right now, there is an Ese Walter who is wondering why he/she didn't do same OR who is still fucking the (wo)man of god and wondering how her/his own story will end. Somewhere in the world right now, a Pastor's wife is glaring at the young women in the church and wondering who is/are the Ese Walter(s) among them. Somewhere in the world, a pastor is having nightmares about his own Ese Walter exposing their affair. Somewhere in the world, an Ese Walter is preparing to blackmail a pastor and another one is wondering why she didn't gather evidence when she could. Somewhere in the world also is an unrepentant pastor giving him/herself a pep-talk that encompasses levels of grace and how to better and more safely practise his/her church inbreeding. Somewhere is a christian slave who's pastor is the standard for morality and is even dis moment vowing "if pastor can, well so can I". Somewhere also is a genuine christian who will brook none of this nonsense, who is shocked, shamed and appalled at this travesty." - Pearl Osibu

So, don't stop talking, joke if you must, but if you can, look your pastor in the eye, ask questions and/or demand accountability. And if you're a woman who is being chased by your married senior pastor [if you need something from the pastor like prayers, counselling, or references, or the attention is unwanted, the correct term is you're being harassed] please report him to his mentors or your women group and follow it through.


  1. Of all the reactions/comments from bloggers and their followers, this particular post has been the only one to see right through the whole drama. Myne, I'm not blowing up ya head but so far you the only one who has showed some critical thinking and analysis of this whole saga.

  2. Hi Myne,

    I am not surprised at all at his response. I went through a similar experience while in the polytechnic, and the leader/guy involved, even while we were being disciplined according to scriptures never agreed he did anything wrong. in my own case, with two other young women, we never had sex, but we might as well as had. He also made a statement similar to levels of grace, his words were - i can teach you to keep your body under so much that you will not be aroused even if you see a naked man- ( I still remember the words after eighteen years, it happened in 1995). He fondled, we touched his manhood, and he kept asking, are you aroused? if you say yes, he says, you have not learnt your lesson, you are still proving stubborn, you don't want to learn how to keep your body under. So, when the whole other executives of the fellowship found out, (he was a former executive, hence the trust), he maintained he wasn't wrong, he was teaching scriptures. For a year, I was guilt ridden and could not pray or talk to God, I became a zombie Christian, till He eventually came through and made me realize He had forgiven me. Anyway, the point of this long comment is that such men would never agree they did anything wrong, and the must have started long ago. It cured me of 'pastor worship'

    1. So, e don tey. Thanks for sharing sis Anon.

    2. Wow! Wow! It is even difficult to process what you have just said. How can..? This is sad.

  3. Thanks for sharing, anonymous. These things happen everywhere, men using God's name Ŧo fulfil their sexual lust. Sadly too, it happens in the two main religions in Nigeria.


  5. Myne, thanks for sharing without insulting. This COZAgate is wrong and no amount of silence can make it right. The act is wrong, the silence is wrong. I will tell no long tales but it happened to me too. As the other anonymous member, thank God it did not morph into full-blown sex. A pastor says he is conducting deliverance on you and he is carassing your breasts in the pretence of casting out mammy water spirit. Me, I jejely found my level. It did not feel right in my heart. And yes, he was married. Parents, pray for your children, stop adjudicating your responsibility to religious leaders, teachers, etc. We may not be able to name names but if it has happened to you, share in brief. Let the irresponsible pastors know that there is no secret.


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