Friday, August 9, 2013

Actress Chika Ike Speaks on Her Experience of Domestic Violence in Her Just Ended Marriage

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When she announced the end of her marriage with seeming relief and thanks to God, many of her fans challenged her for not taking marriage seriously enough. Now, Chike Ike has written an open letter, talking about the physical abuse she endured from her husband throughout the five years their marriage lasted. In her own words,

The past three years has been a very emotional period for me. I focused my energy on work and to build back my self esteem. its been really hard for me to come out straight and talk about this because sometimes I pinch myself to wake up and not believe that I was a victim of domestic violence. I've been through a lot in my life, faced a lot of challenges but this is one topic I've tried so hard to avoid and have been waiting for the right time but I have come to a resolve   that there's really no right time because every second of the day,lives are being lost due to domestic violence.  I was a victiim of domestic violence in my marriage and that was the singular reason I left my marriage, aside other reasons.

Growing up as a girl. I was always known as the sweetest kid on the block, before I got married, I have been through some relationships and for once no man had ever laid a finger on me. The first time it happened in my marriage I didn't understand it because I am not the type of woman a man beats but I guess there are no types. It just happens and no woman deserves it. As a young girl I thought it was love or his way of expressing his emotions,after every beating he pleads , cries and says it won't happen again, once again I thought it was love and made excuses for him.  Over the years when it kept happening consistently I started looking for other definitions for it.  I started loosing my self pride,self esteem , self worth, and most painfully i lost  a pregnancy (Miscarriage) I almost lost my life in the process then I realised how serious and abnormal it really was.

I have heard and read a lot of accusations from ignorant people who don't know my story,I guess that's why they are ignorant.  I was 20yrs old and  very naïve to the world when I got married .“ They said I married for money“ LOL. I was married to a corporate guy,who had a 9_5 job in a bank, Lives in a rented 2 bedroom apartment at Egbe..  So do the maths! . I married for love. I did a traditional wedding. A white wedding and a court wedding. So that's how much I wanted to be married forever.  For five years I hoped, prayed & wished that one day it will all change. But the last straw that broke the carmels back was during a heated argument he threw a glass  jug to my face and I dogged it and it shattered on d wall. I saw death flash before me and I made a decision to save my life. I left my marriage.

Am not saying  this to draw pity from anyone because we are entitled to our opinions and believes. I am not also saying this to discourage people from falling in love because its a beautiful feeling and I still believe in it. I am saying this to educate, share and talk about my experience as a victim of domestic violence because it is real.

Learn more about abuse in relationships at the National Domestic Violence Hotline website.

If you're in Nigeria, visit the Project Alert website.

If you are in an abusive relationship and need help, call 1-800-799-SAFE. (USA) or for Nigeria - 234-1-8209387; 08052004698; 08180091072

You can also email


  1. Truly not many people lie about domestic violence, and her husband is there to say his side if necessary. Some manage it but for others they have to leave. Chika keep your head up!

  2. Such a sad tale for someone so young. I wish her all the best for the future.

  3. It is sad and annoying. You did well by taking d bold step of saving your life. Violence is no love at all. All d best beautiful one.

  4. When a married African woman starts to commit adultery with soo much evidence, will the African husband fold his hands after several advices? I would advice you come out with the causes of the violence and what measures you took to stop it Chika pls.

    1. Even if she was committing adultery as you're implying, does this justify her husband hitting her?! I think not!

  5. Why is it that all these ladies in the acting world are always claiming domestic violence?...couldn't be that their 'domestic' character is flawed?

  6. Is like the words, for better for worse, richer and poorer, in sickness and in health. Had been thrown to the ground. Marriage is for mature partners not 4 babes. It does not matter how old u are.

  7. There's no reason for husband to beat his wife. Period!


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