Friday, July 19, 2013

Would You Give Your Husband a Pregnancy Pass?

Posted in: , , ,

Do I hear someone ask what a pregnancy pass was? If you're like me, you'll be very surprised. I thought it had to do with giving pregnant women time off or allowing them not to perform certain tasks, but that's so not it. The pregnancy pass came up on the new FOX TV show “The Real,” and it was Tamar Braxton who just had her baby some weeks ago that asked the question. So what is it?


According to the writer at Madame Noire;

Essentially, as Tamar explained to her co-hosts Jeannie Mai, Tamera Mowry, Loni Love, and Adrienne Bailon, a pregnancy pass is when a woman who is expecting allows her husband — and father of the child she’s carrying — sleep with other women because she’s not up to having sex. It should come as no surprise that when this question was asked, the resounding answer — on set and in our office — was “hell no.” For starters, I haven’t met or heard a pregnant woman yet say that she didn’t have sex while she was carrying a baby.

Things may have gotten tricky toward the end and her and her partner may have had to try some new positions to get it done, but sex was absolutely happening — and often. Second, I — and a lot of other women — will likely be damned if, while they are carrying a man’s child, that same man has the nerve to step out and sleep with someone else. 


This some how reminds me of the question in this post, about whether a woman can and should allow her Boyfriend or Fiance to sleep with other people since they are abstaining from sex themselves. Most of the answers were in the negative and I doubt it would be any different in this case.

In fact one could argue a pregnancy pass is worse than a celibacy pass, if I can call it that. At least before marriage, the twp people have more autonomy and have not made any vows to be faithful or anything. The pregnancy pass however, we're dealing with marriage, and if the pregnant woman is unable to have sex, it is probably because of her growing belly which she made with the man!

So have you ever heard of the pregnancy pass, and is it something you would consider?







87 comments:

  1. The answer here is hell no too. Haba mana! I'm not married yet not to talk of pregnant, but that conji will kill him before I allow my husband and maker of me pregnant to step out on me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's a resounding "God forbid" join double "hell no".....

    ReplyDelete
  3. No way! I wouldn't dare. Am not sharing my hubby with anyone
    #olivertwist

    ReplyDelete
  4. hmmm...God forbid....dat's encouraging infidelity!!!......

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lol, he'll to the N.O!!! We're both pregnant! If I'm not getting any, he definitely isn't.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Why is it that EVRYTHING in life should be about making a man happy. Women literally lose their lives everyday trying to bring life into this world and even while we put our lives on the line, we are supposed to also make sure men get sex elsewhere while we; blow up, get all kind of dark marks ansd spots, stretch marks, lose bladder control, damage our backs, the possibility of developing diabetes and the pain and exhaustion of giving birth, not to mention if it is a c-section we are out of commisison for six weeks. Even through all of that some dum dum is coming up with the idea to give a man a pregnancy pass. No wonder women get treated like crap by so many men, because they know some of us are living idiots.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I wasn't confused by the term "pregnancy pass" which is why i was fully prepared to come here and asked if you had flipped your lid lol. Anywho, i wish a mofo would even fix his brain to even contemplate thinking that this would ever even be a topic worth thinking about let alone actually asking about it.
    Same would go for a "celibacy pass" too. Not an option at all.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am currently pregnant and hell would be let loose if my hubby left me to get some outside. No be me give myself belle so he must share in the French libido leave!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Taa you people have come again. How do they come up with these ridiculous things again and again?

    ReplyDelete
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  11. Hell NO. Abi I don give am. The pass ni,I won't give him nd if he is caught mistakenly 20ppl shall fall dat day. Bcos he won't want another man to share me wit him the same tin applicable to me nd vice versa

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  15. Hope I am allowed to get such a pass if he has to go on a business trip for a long time....total BS,

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm in the minority. If asked this question I'd take the time to consider it and have an open dialogue about the request.
    My fiance is an amazing man who is there for me during not only the good times but the bad as well. Assuming our relationship was going well when I was pregnant, and that my sex drive for whatever reason was not there (or very minimal), I would of course take his needs into consideration. I have been in many relationships where my sex drive was higher than my partners , and it was very difficult for me, I often felt rejected and undesired when my passes were continually turned down. I love my fiance and have no intention of making him feel that way. There will be times in our lives when our drives are not as compatible and that for them to be so differing that he would work up the nerve to ask me a question would be hard for him, as he is acutely aware of my needs and goes above and beyond to protect my feelings. To be immediately dismissive and rude if he were to bring this up would be thoughtless on my part.
    Obviously we would have to talk about this, and decide if it was the right choice for us, but who am I to not be open to have a dialogue? I expect my partner in life to be kind in regards to my concerns and feelings; it is only fair in return to be thoughtful and understanding to his. If this was something that we decided to go through with, I would want to be involved in the logistics to ensure I didn't feel threatened by the woman we chose and that everyone was taking precautions to avoid any STDs or unplanned pregnancy. I want my man to come to me with things, and to not go behind my back, if I am rude and mean to him for asking a question, chances are the next time he won't ask.
    I think being able to have tough conversations and be there for each other , with the good and bad is essential to any successful relationship. That's not to say a women has to be ok with this, but I can't picture myself being so closed minded that I avoided having a healthy discussion about it. The moment we stop listening to the other one's feelings we are in my opinion dooming our relationship to failure.
    I assume most women (from my experience), even if they had this discussion would choose to not go through with allowing a pass, but this wouldn't be the first time I was different from the mold I so often encounter. Sex is very important to me, and I think it is essential that a couple is sexually compatible, as being so will help avoid many arguments and potential differences in the future of the relationship, thus giving them a higher chance of success. I feel lucky to have finally found a partner who can "keep-up" with (and even trump!) my sexual drive. I in finding someone whose drive exceeds mine, need to be thoughtful of the times he has desires and I do not. It is fine for a couple to place less importance on sex, I just believe that is should be BOTH parties who place a lower importance on it, and not just one, otherwise someone(s) will ultimately be suffering.
    I think the likelier instance than a "pregnancy pass" in my case would be a pass if at some point later in life our drives were mismatched for a more extended period, as when it comes down to it, 9 months of incompatibility in a whole lifetime together, really isn't that long. If I lose my sex drive after menopause I hope that my fiance (then husband) and I will be able to figure out a way for his needs to be met. After all, is it really fair to expect him to meet my emotional and other needs and to not meet, or try to meet, his needs?
    That's just my two cents, and what I'm guessing is going to be a rather unpopular opinion. Please take my opinions with a grain of salt, as they are just that, MY opinions. I am not asking anyone to give there husband a pass, I am simply trying to present the other side of the situation.

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