Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Types of Women To Avoid On Twitter and Facebook

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Rejoinder to Types of Men to Avoid on Twitter and Facebook[post] by Oyebanji Ayodele

Nowadays, it is nothing new that a lot of relationships start off on the internet. However, it must be said that beneath every online personality is some sort of anonymity. Or symbols meant to be decoded. Thus, it is essential you look beyond the façade of the posts, pictures and chats you have on Facebook, Twitter and their likes. So if you're a guy, looking forward to getting hooked up online, or your hook has already caught a fish, this is for you. In case your online love falls within any of these groups, don’t just sit, watching. Find an escape route.

1. The "I Love My Body" Group 

These ladies capitalizes on the visual sense of men. Their members flaunt their front and back assets opulently. You see more of their pictures. Sometimes, nude. They steal all the attention, likes and comments, leaving whatever you must have posted deprived. When online, you take a breather on their pages. I do.
They occasionally chirp on Twitter and Facebook. And when they do, they ask you to assess their near-nude and much revealing pictures.
In case you have not met any of their kind, this is what happens: something begins to heave in your head, your eyes bulging out of their sockets. Then, if you are not careful, you may fall for their tricks and send that DM or PM that has your naked tool. You will be blackmailed forever. Does the name Carlos Danger sound familiar?

2. The "Christian or SU" Group

They are the early risers on social media. You wake to their ‘Good morning Lord’ and ‘Thank you Jesus’ posts. They feed you with the quotable quotes for the day. Sometimes, short sermons. Preachy thingz, that’s what they are. On account of their reserve, you consider them the best ‘take home to mama’. They can’t cheat, you say in your mind.
Listen! Their type has exhausted their cheating airtime. Don’t be surprised if they confess having had a past before meeting Master Jesus. They comfort you with the scripture: ‘old things have passed away and everything has become new…’
To add to your new problem, you may have to put up with their narrow minds. For instance, you must never demand a blow job from them. If you dare, you may end up being a subject of a deliverance session. In your house.

The "Chop and Go" Group

These women are beautiful. Or, they pull out all the stops to look beautiful. They are crazy about making money. They’re not streetwalkers but high-class ashewos - let's call them aristos. It’s the economy, I don’t blame them. And I hope you won’t blame yourself.  On their Facebook and Twitter pages, DANGER is penned in legibly faint letterings. All you need do is open your eyes. Their kind project refined images online. They don’t look starved, but they really are. Their type exerts a pull on you with updates and pictures of lavish meals, designer dresses, shoes, luggage and so on. If you ever manage to land one of them, your offline dates will take you to boutiques and eateries alone.  God help you if you are some broke fellow.
When you are trapped in their net, you end up becoming an instant ATM. Milking you dry is not the expression, you won’t remember having anything at all. They are the high maintenance kind of ladies. They live for their appearances. Once you can no longer pay their bills, they leave you.

4. The ‘Feminist’ Group

That is what they call themselves. Feminists. I don’t know what to call them, but I know feminists when I see or read them. Members of this group are not. You find their posts and tweets regularly these days. No thanks to Senator Ahmed Yerima.
They use hashtags the most. According to them, they fight for the rights of women. They are fighters, really. Blood-sucking, phalli-cutting fighters! Here is a sample tweet:
‘Come near my child with your prick, I’ll castrate you! #childnotbride’
You’ll run from them if you really love yourself. You dare not offend them. If you do, they go either for your small head or big head.

For you reading, you may probably not find this list comprehensive enough. If so, drop your views as well as share your experiences in the comments box.

This post is a rejoinder to the post - Types of Men to Avoid on Twitter and Facebook. Oyebanji Ayodele blogs at and tweets @ayoyebanji


  1. 4. The ‘Feminist’ Group
    The writer really did not just write that. So being a feminist is supposed to be a bad thing? or "You’ll run from them if you really love yourself. You dare not offend them. If you do, they go either for your small head or big head" is supposed to mean that men should go about offending women because they ordinarily wouldn't retaliate?

    Please have several seats.

  2. Thank goodness I'm not the only one who noticed that. People always love to make feminists look bad. Not all are angry lesbians seeking to destroy men you know. Many just want more rights for women. Men like this would not want to marry an illiterate woman, but a feminist is the one who fought for women to be educated. smh.

  3. Am I the only one who read "I don’t
    know what to call them, but I know feminists when I see or read them. Members of this group are not."? Give the writer a break! He's only saying the people in that group are wannabe feminists. Doesn't seem anti-feminist to me

  4. Some of these 'wannabe feminists' complaining here read the one bashing men and they said nothing. Double standards oshi!

  5. "I don’t know what to call them, but I know feminists when I see or read them. Members of this group are not." Haba! Let's read b4 commenting. This is an arrow thrown at wanna-be feminists, not feminists. And believe me, there are many wanna-bes around.

  6. #2 oh!!!! Hahahahhaa.... "The Christian or SU Group" lmao. My mother always said its when that biological clock is ticking and all other avenues have been exhausted that you begin to see women forming sister of Jesus.

  7. Its the christian one I don't get. Whats wrong with biblical tweets if those are the majority of thoughts that cross her mind. Why do they have to be perceived as retired sinners? And even if they are, nobody holy pass. Even you have a past. That's myopic reasoning. If you want to get to know someone, open your heart and know them without biases.


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