Thursday, July 18, 2013

Dear Myne - Should I Fight For My Man This Time?

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Dear Myne, I have been going through your write ups and I must say you’re doing a good job keep it up. I have a problem please my boyfriend no longer wants me because of another girl, I am so confused right now. You see my present boyfriend was my ex. I have known him for like 7yrs now. We grew up together then we started dating but while he was in school, he cheated so I left him.

But after he graduated, did his youth service and started working, he came back to me apologising that he loves me he wants us back. So I thought of the whole thing I loved him anyway because he was my 1st boyfriend.

I decided to date him again and we have been dating now for almost 2 years only for his character to change recently. He stopped calling like before and he was talking about us going on a break in the relationship. Last time I went to hang out with him, I checked his phone and found out that he was cheating. A text he sent to another girl read, "swthrt don't worry ok, don't cry things would work out fine it will be sorted out soon"

When I saw it, I went mad. I asked him if it was because of this girl he wanted to break up with me. He said he was shocked and didn’t know what I was talking about. So I called the gal. With his phone. I begged her please leave my boyfriend he has a girlfriend. I told her “am talking to you like a friend, a sister and a future wife”.

The girl said she's in love with him also and so many other things. The issue now is that he doesn't want to leave the girl yet he claims he loves me. I told him ok before we break up you have to be calling me like the 1st time we started dating. Again I told him he would do that for 3 months then I would leave his life alone. I feel I might get back my man before then. I need him back.

So, though I am fighting for him this time around but I'm confused if it's worth it. His parents are aware of our relationship, even my own parents know about it. Dear readers, please I need your advice.


  1. if u ask me,i'd say let him go,a guy always knows what he wants....

  2. People keep talking about this being in love with two people at the same time, bt I believe it boils down to discipline. As long as you know this and still want to fight, good luck!

  3. Seriously, there is nothing to fight for, he cheated once, he is cheating, he will cheat. You can get him to marry you but by then be ready to always fight off his girlfriends. Please love yourself enough to take a walk. You may think you are hurting now, but this is incomparable to what a serial cheater of a husband can do to your psyche.

  4. I quite agree with all the comments....In the first place, you were wrong to have called the other lady to leave your man alone....If you have to go that length for a man that has not married you....then it's not worth many ladies will you have to call, beg or threaten....please, let him go, before you become a laughing stock..There's no crime and shame in being alone...enjoy and have fun..wait on who God has prepared for you...and don't give up on yourself..always remind yourself that you are queen ,and deserved to be treated as such!!!...Don't settle for less!!

  5. The first time you guys brokeup because he cheated and this time around he is cheating again!!!!

    The writing is in the wall that if you marry him, he will cheat on you in marriage.

    Babygirl take a walk, you said your parents know & his parents know about the both of you, so end it and if your parent and his parents ask you what happen tell them the truth that he cheated on you so you walked.

    If you dont tell the truth and you force yourself to win him back and marry a cheat, when he's cheating is chocking you in marriage you will then confess to your inlaws and parents and by them my dear they will blame you for not speaking up.

    So sit down and think deep if you want a happy life and peaceful marriage then drop this cheater and WALK.

    Future lo matter

  6. This post annoyed me greatly. Its just completely disturbing the lengths some women will go for what they see as GENERIC "love". Just plain sad. As the saying goes... Fool Me Once, Shame on You, Fool Me twice ,Shame on ME ... I will wait for Fool ME 3X

    Also, please stop disturbing that other girl, the fact that you found her number does not give you the right to call her. She is not your friend, sister, cousin, etc etc. LEAVE HER ALONE. YOUR issue is with this so-called man you say you Love! If I may, let me rearrange your words "BEG HIM!!! to please leave his other girlfriend alone."

    LET ME SAY THIS. The fact that he cheated on you does not mean you are inadequate, not beautiful, or whatever, HE IS SELFISH, IMMATURE and FOOLISH. I only say this because, for you to want to continue with a man who has cheated on you twice, you must have serious insecurity issues.

    IN the End, I say this will all SERIOUSNESS... LEAVE HIM! For two Reasons

    1) As a Test: If you are truly of value he will not let you leave. He will do whatever he can repair the strain. However if my memory serves em correct you have left him before. But you Return and were cheated on AGAIN. So possibly reason #1 may not work, because he likely does not respect or value you.

    so option 2 ...

    2) Leave For Your Self Worth: Simply because you can do better. Forgiving him again will do absolutely nothing for your self esteem. Yes you will have a so-called boyfriend (possible fiancé) but his past will continually lurk around you. You will constantly want to check his phone, constantly question if you are the only one. That fear is already there, or you would have not thought to check his phone. If I may quote my favorite book, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear

  7. I actually like your strategy to fight for the guy, it's not every time we run from problems in relationships. No one is person, not even you. 3 months is not too much to ask, and it's possible to rekindle your love if he can remember the early times. But be determined to walk if he doesn't.

    1. perfect I meant to say.

  8. I don't think that guy deserves u, he has known 2 much abt u n there is nutin u can do now than 2 let go off him. His 1st apology 2 bring u back is bcos he didn't go beyond his limitations meaning u're stil taking much care of urself(ur beauty is wat he is stil considering 4 u 2 stay n very soon it will fade away making him luk 4 smaller girls: it is in his blood n won't be able 2 stop it) n u u're only show-casing urself 2 him 4 his luv bcos u felt his future his bright, there is one in many guys 4 u out there who would take gud care of u 4 faithfulness,trust n luv n i knw by now he is determine in beating d hell out of u,imagine if he is dead won't u move on wit ur life? So move away 4rm him n let him face his clauses n u ur happiness..bcos no one can plant cocoa n reap up cocoayam

  9. My dear am sorry this has happened but my advice would be to walk away. I understand fighting for your man, but that is in certain senarios not this. I know how much it hurts. Just walk away. He is not worth it. And if he ever comes back tell to go where the sun dont shine. You will find love again. And you dont want to be married to him and always wonder what he is up to. You deserve peace of mind with whom you settle with.

  10. Pls my dear take a walk Cus he is nt serious he did nt love u let him go

  11. it good to fight for your man, but sometimes you just have to let him go. He seems to me that he knows what he wants.

  12. Now I hate name calling but you sound like confused teenager. Why? Your case sounds so familiar. My boyfriend back in Uni broke the relationship twice, each time, he initiated the break. Once in school and then during our service year. Needless to say, I loved this guy helplessly(Dude is a 'fine boy'.) Fast forward some years, jilted me now has a decent job, a 2nd degree, and a decent glowing and blossoming life like the tree planted by the riverside and guess what? He wants back. He has begged, cried and asked me back in everyway possible but i declined. Why? He'll most likely come back with let's take a break story as soon as a hotter chic comes by, God help me he doesn't pull that up in marriage. Yall should have seen how elated i was when i realised that my committed, steady, focused current beau used to be neighbors with him. Ex's great loss!

  13. Take a walk have been der its not worth it @ d moment I hate EXs cos dey neva change. Pls don't beg any man to marry u if he feels u r enuf he won't cheat on u, trust me if u r not enuf for him now u ll neva be enuf for him

  14. All as been said but let me add my little advice that you should not be supprised that even his folks knows about all his escapades so thinking that they know you with him makes you special.They are on the lookout for the highest bidder amongst you his babes.So therefore run for your life so that you can be happy in your marriage to the man that will appreciate you.


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