Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Dear Myne - Do I Marry This Guy I'm Not Attracted To

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Sometimes u don't even choose to be single...but u still are! Some women truly desire to be married and long and enjoy the male company - but rather than end up with the wrong person, let her stay patient and get it right. Or almost. I am ready for marriage and in my early 30s, but the only 2 men I have come very close to marrying have disappointed and I cannot kill myself.

The next person who's loving me like crazy has a 6 yr-old son, was deported from Spain 2 yrs ago and just told me he was one of the leaders of the Buccaneers in UniLag back then.

I was a choir leader in my chapel for 2 yrs back then, I hav spent my entire life studying and obtaining academic degrees to make my life and that of my family better - not to mention the unborn children. Do I marry this guy whom I'm neither attracted to in any way nor matches my background - all in the name of marriage? That's simply insanity.



  1. Dear Poster,

    You've already answered your own question by acknowledging that he is not the right man for you. Your backgrounds are different. Your lifestyles are different. You're not even ATTRACTED to him. What other answers do you need?

    Sometimes we women see trouble coming and run towards it.

    - Emem.

  2. my dear marriage is not about settling, so if you are not feeling this guy don't marry him don't marry for marrying sake.

  3. I am in my late twenties, single and not seeing anyone at the moment. Sometimes its pure fun; to go and come as I please. Other times, as the writer said, I long for male company: someone to ask me how my day went and all the other romantic stuff that we women can conjure up in our fantasies. But I will NOT settle. I came across a post of Facebook that goes: "Dear Singles, the PAIN of marrying the wrong person is worse than your present FEAR of getting too old for marriage". I fear getting married to the wrong person, I don't know about you. That being said, It would be tragic to have waited this long to get married only to settle into a bad marriage as it were.

    1. I wish I had read your piece before getting married! the pressure was too much

  4. DO NOT MARRY HIM if it's not what you want. Marriage is not by force!

  5. Na wa o! Single guys are complaining that there are no 'good' gurls again out there, and single ladies are complaining there are no husband materials again out there, so the pressure keeps building up. Well, I guess the anon above has said it all: "he PAIN of marrying the wrong person is worse than your present FEAR of getting too old for marriage." Since it is a life time thing, I think it is worth the wait.

  6. Don't! It happened to me too but I'm happy I didn't take the plunge.


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