Thursday, June 13, 2013

7 Ways to Always Be a Lover to Your Husband

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When you met your husband, and before he became your husband, it is very likely that you had some physical attraction to each other. Then you became lovers and everything was good. However, like so often happens, life happens, you get older, children come along, and you find that you're drifting away from each other, and you're more like friends, siblings or worse, housemates.

I was reading this blog and I agree with Lisa Jacobson's list of 7 ways to stir up your love life and keep the heat up in marriage.

Think like a lover. It begins with a mindset - how I view him. So when he walks into the room, am I thinking, “Oh, good, there’s the man who can take out the garbage” or “the dad who can give me a break from the children?” OR “Wow. There’s the guy I get to sleep with tonight." Trust me, it sure makes a difference in how I meet up with him.

Talk like a lover. Lovers say sweet, inviting things to each other.  Maybe I’ll remark how handsome he is. How strong he is. How he makes me shiver - with delight. How I’m not sure I could live without him. I find that if you convince him that he’s the man of your dreams, he'll likely become that man.

Act like a lover. Sometimes I forget and get lost in the dailyness of life. But then I'll observe a newly engaged couple. I'll watch the way she hangs on his every word. How they exchange secrets with their eyes. The way she presses in when next to him. No one could miss the electricity between the two.  And I’m reminded, “Oh, right, that’s how it’s supposed to be.” I’d forgotten for a time, but I want that back again.

Plan like a lover. This one is between you and me. It's not very romantic sounding....but I plan for things. Because you see, I'm a very busy lady and we've got a bunch of kids. And I only have so much time and so much energy. So, I plan ahead - to the point of mentally "scheduling" when we're going to be together. A little strange, I know, but if I don't make it a priority, well, then it just doesn't happen - or at least doesn't happen well.

Take a nap, run the bath, snuggle on the couch, turn in early - and start connecting from the beginning of the day. If forced to admit it, yes, I confess: I strategize.

Respond like a lover. One thing I've noticed about lovers? They respond so readily to each other. They're not concerned about timing, about the correct approach, the mood, or the lighting. They don't require anything fancy; they're thrilled to be together. So I try not to need things to be “just so” for passion to build between us.

Give like a lover. Lovers give their love lavishly and without restraint. They don’t hold back. Or hold out. And since I’ve already confided in you, here’s another: I don’t always feel like it. Sometimes I give of myself only because I love him. I’m not in the mood, not in that head-space, and it’s not where I’m at. Sometimes - it’s a one-way deal. It is simply my gift to him.

Desire like a lover. At one point, when expecting our 7th child, I realized that my desire for him had faded. While his level of interest hadn’t changed in the least. I wanted to want him, but found I didn’t have it in me. I couldn’t understand why the Lord would make me one way...and make him in such a totally different way. It didn’t make sense to me. After a long soul-struggle, I brought it before the Lord. My request was simple: I asked Him to give me a desire – a real, physical desire – for my husband. And I don’t know how to explain it, but He gave it.

1 comment:

  1. There is a reason why there are no comments on this and this is why:

    Here is the number one reason to connect with your husband, to always be a lover to him.


    If you have kids, it is just gut-burstingly hard, bruisingly difficult I tell you. Especially when you consider for a lot of men - as as the writer of this article will tell you - their libido does not wane and yours does. All those kids, having them, looking after them not only takes a toll on your body but on your emotions on your very soul. You change. Kai, you change.

    Oh have fewer kids. But once you have even the one, it changes things.


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