Thursday, May 9, 2013

Re - Pregnant But Unhappy Chic

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I have received an update from the lady in yesterday's post, "I don't want to keep the pregnancy, my boyfriend does". She says;

I'm beginning to have a change of heart concerning my present situation. My mum is difficult and I know that getting across to her is an almost impossible hurdle. I'll try to talk to her about keep[ing] the baby this weekend.

I would let you know how it goes. God bless! Thank you soo soo much. I appreciate your response. I have nobody else to talk to. God bless you.

This was my response to her;

I would really ask you consider keeping the baby as your BF is supportive. If you love him and see a future with him, you must realize that things would never be the same if you terminate the pregnancy. He may consent and even marry you, but he won't ever forget, and may end up blaming you when the topic comes up later on.

I know it's hard for we women to go the career route once pregnant or having children early on, but remember the career is always there. Change your life plan and set a career that starts later when your children may have all started school. Remember, you're in the US with the likelihood you'll live long and healthy and be able to work till you're in your late 70s.

Maybe you should forget a big wedding. Plan a small civil one for a couple of months or so from now. You can then have a renewal with wedding vows some years later. Pray and talk to your parents. It may take time but I'm sure they'll come around, especially once the baby comes. Hopefully :)

If your BF is a grad student who is also holding down a job, I think he's hardworking. Give him a chance, work with him and pray for the best.

Abortion is a serious medical procedure and has physical and psychological effects, so do not take it lightly. Be prepared to bear the repercussions.

At the end of the day however, remember it is your body and your choice, don't allow anyone bulldoze your decisions.


  1. Lovely response Myne. Very lovely and all encompassing. I hope it works out well for her.

  2. Hi Myne, this is my first time commenting on your blog, I want to thank you very much for all you do Keep up the good work. As for the lady, I just wanted to add that being pregnant will not stop any employer from hiring her in the US, it is even against the law for them to base thier judgement on that if she is otherwise qualified for the job. I am a living proof of that, I changed jobs while I was pregnant with my 2 kids. Though, it will be tough, but it is very do-able, with determination and hard work. My only advice on that note is not to tell the prospective employer that she is pregnant until they offer her the job, might be better though, that she tell them before accepting the offer. I wish her all the best.

  3. When i read this post yesterday, i was short of words. Everything seemed so perfect and the pregnancy which is to be a source of joy is giving so much worry. There are lots of women out there who would do almost anything just to miss their period. Its a gift from God, though the timing might be wrong. However, I am happy she is making a very good decision and i believe she will not regret it, even though it might be rough initially.
    Your boyfriend will love you more for this decision and eventually all will just be fine.
    Myne, thumbs up to you.

  4. Great response Myne! If she already has offers, I assume she is graduating this May/June. Doing the math, she will have some time to begin work, get benefits, and have the baby. As someone else said, the energy companies will hire her regardless of the baby, if they are serious about her.

    I dont know that she has to have a wedding at all, but I understand Nigerians don't like to have kids out of wedlock so I suppose she can do a small civil ceremony in the meantime to satisfy everyone.

    I imagine she feels very lost right now and that this is such a detour from her plans, but with some hard work, juggling, and (hopefully) the support of her fiance she will be fine. After a couple of years and she can put the baby in daycare.


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