Monday, May 20, 2013

Is Infidelity Always The End Of A Marriage?

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We've all heard the story, either a public figure or celebrity, or someone we know confesses to an extramarital affair, and tongues start wagging. Sometimes, the marriage in question withstands the infidelity; other times, the breach of trust is too deep, and the couple splits. The question of which marriage will, and which will not withstand infidelity continues to be a guessing game.

One thing is sure, one cannot determine which marriage will hold and which will founder based on the noise from the media, the public, or other people outside the relationship make, and sometimes even the couple at the time the news breaks. Another thing also seems to be clear, having an extramarital affair is not what's behind the breakup of most long-term relationships. Check out this Battabox video

The consensus seems to be that both Nigerian men and women are usually unfaithful, and only a few are faithful. And while the women will forgive a cheating man and remain in a relationship or marriage for fear of the same thing happening in a new marriage, more men will immediately let their cheating women go. Some of the men however insisted they would want the woman to explain the reason for her infidelity, and will probably keep her and the marriage.

In the AARP Sex, Romance and Relationships Survey on the sexuality of people 45 and older, it was found that divorces resulting from extramarital affairs happen for only a relatively small number of couples. So while infidelity is certainly the precipitating factor in some marriages failing, it's not the reason in most cases. Some of the survey results are as follows,

Among all the survey respondents, 21 percent of men and 11 percent of women admit that they cheated during a current or recent long-term relationship. In pointing fingers, about 12 percent of both sexes say that their partner cheated on them. Surprisingly few people say the cheating did irreparable harm to their relationship: Roughly 40 percent report that it had no effect at all, about 30 percent think it only caused temporary tension, and a mere 6 percent or less say it was the fatal blow.

What's more, some report that infidelity made their relationship better. About 25 percent of cheaters say that it gave their relationship a boost in the sex department, and 11 percent of cheatees agree.

As you can imagine, who did the cheating matters... Nearly 60 percent of female cheaters say their stepping out had "no effect" on their relationship, and just 9 percent think made their sex lives worse. Among women with cheating partners, however, only 24 percent say it had no effect on the relationship-and almost 40 percent say it made their sex lives worse.

From the results it also shows that the gender of the person answering the questions matter - women who had been cheated on were almost three times as likely to say that their partner's cheating caused a lasting tension and lack of trust, over the 6 percent of men who had been cheated on who say their sex lives were worse after their partner's infidelity.

Does this mean, men are more likely to forgive infidelity from their women than we think?


  1. I dont think cheating will end my marriage, whichever of us who steps out. We had talked abt it, & decided we wld try to pull through should either one of us does the unthoughtof

  2. I'm conflicted but know I won't also leave my marriage on a one-off cheating incident. But how is one to be sure it won't happen again?

    Thanks for bringing back annonymous, Myne.

  3. Very interesting conversation. I think the majority of the men are not faithful and the faithful ones are few

  4. I knew you'd reactivate the anonymous comments soon enough :)

    Cheating is a very tough nut to crack there are way too many factors to consider before making a divorce decision.

  5. So wot happens if d husband keeps cheating?would u stay or leave? I guess its a topic 4 another day

  6. If a married man or woman is cheating on the other party, then there is a reason. The best way to solve the problem is not to break up at the first sight of infidelity, but to sit down and iron issues out. Get to know what she sees in other men and doesnt see in you. What are you doing wrong. Are you treating him/her right? These are questions to ask before breaking up.


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