Thursday, May 30, 2013

How Weight Loss May Affect Your Relationship

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I first noticed the effect intentional weight loss could have on couples in one episode of the Extreme Makeover - Weight Loss Edition, one of my favorite summer TV shows. Some of the people featured are married or in relationships and in most cases, their partners are very supportive, often times, joining them while at home and losing some weight themselves.

So when we saw one episode where the live in girlfriend was very disparing of her partner's efforts to lose weight, it was quite surprising to me, and very disappointing. Before the one year run of the weight loss program, they had broken up because the guy was very motivated to get to his weight loss goal, and he did.

She would tease him as he worked out, refusing to join in if he asked though she was a bit overweight herself. She also insisted he accompanied her to parties where only fattening foods were available. If he tried to count calories or ask for lighter foods, she laughed at him. This was someone who at the beginning said she had agreed to support and work with him all the way.

That participant in the program and their story is one I'll not forget in a hurry because even theough their breakup led to him being homeless and sleeping in his car in the gym parking lot for a while, he stuck to his determination to see the weight loss through, and by the end he had surpassed them, and by shedding the excess weight of his girlfriend, he became not just thinner but even more motivated in other aspects of his life, securing a new job, and finding a better partner into the bargain.

Somehow similar this story, I recently read on Cele|bitchy how Jennifer Hudson’s weight loss using Jenny Craig has started to adversely affect her fiancé David Otunga. David says he misses the curvy singer he fell in love with when they met five years ago – and he prefers that old Jennifer to this new thin one. According to the print edition of the Enquirer which the blog quotes,

“Jennifer weight has been an issue between them ever since she lost her big chunk of weight in 2010,” says an insider. “When they met, she was a happy, proud, healthy woman who loved food and embraced every aspect of life with so much enthusiasm. Now she takes up to four hours to get ready when they go out, and she gets tressed out every time she puts a morsel of food in her mouth.”

In 2010, Jennifer signed a multimillion-dollar deal with Weight Watchers, and by 2011, she revealed she’d lost 80 pounds and gone from a size 16 to a size 6.

David is also concerned that Jennifer is becoming more famous for her shrinking waistline than her considerable talents, according to the insider.

“David tells her he thinks she’s beautiful no matter what size she is, but he misses the down-to-earth ‘I don’t care’ Jen… every meal is a pain in the butt, and he’s starting to feel totally sidelined by her obsession with her weight.”

Now, I don't know the exact details of their home life but I think it strange that her fiance is talking to other people about her weight loss. Unless that person is their therapist, how this affects him and their relationship should only be a topic between him and Jennifer Hudson. That said, his concerns are valid and it is possible that someone may become obsessive about their weight loss and even when they surpass their goals, they fail to see how their continued rat race may be affecting their relationships to their loved ones.

These two stories are to say, be prepared that it may not all be sweetness and light when you intentionally try to lose weight for health reasons, or you want to feel better about yourself. Some naysayers may pop out of the wood work, teasing you, or even sometimes sabotaging you. Such people if you realize they have been using your previous weight to pull rank over you, wanting to be seen as the thinner, and maybe finer one, should be cut out quickly.

However, if a previously supportive loved one, especially a partner, raises some concerns about how you may be neglecting them or your relationship in favor of your weight loss activities, it may be time for a reality check.

Make sure you are still doing the weight loss in a healthy way, that is, you've not become anorexic and your exercise and diet regime are not negatively affecting your physical and mental health. Also, you have to ask yourself whether you are spending enough time with your loved ones, or if anxieties and vanities about your weight loss have made you start to overshadow or neglect them. None of these is a good place to be.

Remember that balance is key in all things. All the best as you lose that weight.




4 comments:

  1. It is ironic because her fiancee is all about health and fitness, yet you would think he would want his partner to be about the same in that regard. Many men cannot handle it when a woman improves herself; it could be getting more education, promotion to a high profile job, weightloss..etc. Some men just feel as though if a woman gets enhanced then her chances of meeting a higher quality man improves, and inturn she could upgrade him.

    Everybody deserves to be happy in life, and just because you are partnered does not mean you forsake pursuing that which brings you joy and peace in your being.

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