Friday, April 19, 2013

Positive Social Spaces

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I want to use this opportunity to address some of the comments on the Chimamanda post. That post was not meant to offend anyone, but to correct the impression some people got from wrong blogs and sources about what she said the first time around. On this post, a comment actually left a link to one of such wrong information blogs .

It was unfortunate that the comments became embroiled in that which divide us. Maybe I should generally moderate comments on this blog, or have stopped the comments on that post after I saw the way it was going, but I couldn't have guessed how it would end. To anyone who was insulted or offended, I apologize. Adura Ojo, I'm glad to hear you've calmed down, this is for you too.

I may be a hypocrite, but I can never hate myself. Am I perfect? Far from it. Do I try to live a more healthy lifestyle, I do try, but I am also real and true to myself. I eat ice cream and processed foods. I know cell phones and microwaves are radioactive, but I still use them. And yes, I know relaxers may be linked to hair and general health issues, but it is my choice to use them, under advise, at this time.

If anyone has been motivated to give their natural hair a try by reading about my natural hair experience, I am very happy. I hope they enjoy it like I did. It will be great also if they know they have the freedom to simply be themselves rather than boxed into a team of either/or. I am not a hair nazi, and my post on my aha moment should let anyone know which side I'll bat for. I consider hair personal, though I understand that what I believe personal may not be the same for everyone.

I blog about my personal life not to lead anyone, or teach people, or to say how much better my life or anything I do is. I am on a growth journey myself, learning everyday and hoping never to stop. I believe in role models, not to become idols, but to see what is possible in the spectrum of human existence. I model my own life to add to that spectrum, that multiplicity of stories.

Do I get angry? Not often, not on the issues people may assume, and I try to channel it positively. One decision I have made is not to willfully inject negative anger into social spaces, both for my own sanity, and for others who share that space with me. This is me, I'm not trying to be condescending to anyone, or telling anyone else how to live their life.

I sincerely hope we can agree to disagree and move on.

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