Tuesday, April 2, 2013

5 Relationship Myths To Beware Of by Z.R. Moore

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People believe what they want to believe when it comes to relationships. Beliefs about relationships lead some people into horrible situations. By not having any evidence that make these myths true people still base decisions of commitment on assumptions. Myths can really be harmful when it comes to choosing who to be with. Here are five myths that get people into trouble when it comes to relationships.

1. They will always be the same: People tend to believe that their partners won't ever change who they are. This is based on an assumption that this person won't continue to grow as human being as the years go by. Time tells us that this is not the truth. People do change as they age, as situations change, and from troubling situations that they go through. The problem with this myth is that sometimes people outgrow the relationship that they're in. Once this happens it's hard for that person to remain in that partnership when it's representative of who they once used to be.

The issue with this myth is that the other mate is basing their level of commitment on the stability of this person's character. When this changes the whole dynamic of the relationship changes. This is why when people get older they tend to end long term relationships, since these relationships are more reflective of who they once used to be. Know that when you're in a relationship with someone to not put all your hopes on this person remaining the same until they die. This isn't likely to happen.

2. They'll love you no matter what: There is nothing more reassuring than knowing that your love will love you no matter what. This is a false security that unfortunately a lot of people put a lot of stock into. The issue with this myth is that no matter how much a person loves you there is a limit as to what they will or won't take as acceptable behavior. This excludes the deal breakers such as cheating, abuse, or substance abuse issues, because these things are obviously valid reasons to terminate a partnership. What I am referring to is things that you may think your partner may look over, or forgive you for but they actually don't. Most people trick themselves into believing that they can love a person whatever they do until they are faced with that situation, and have to face the truth they can't. The idea of "no matter what" is comforting and romantic, but usually not very realistic.

3. They'll always do what's best for the relationship: This is another myth that people take great comfort in. Most people believe that since a person is in love with the other that the relationship they're in is always top priority. By this partnership being priority over all other things this automatically causes a person to make the best decisions concerning the relationship. This sometimes isn't always the case. You have people who have been in committed relationships for years who'll decide to cheat, misuse finances, or make other decisions that destroy the relationship. Just because a person is in a committed relationship doesn't always mean that their decisions will reflect that in their actions.

4. That it will get better in time: A lot of people have wasted many good years thinking that things will get better in time. However, the more issues are ignored in a relationship the more likely it is that this won't ever happen. Some people resign him/herself in relationships that need a lot work, help, and counseling that they don't make the effort to correct. They figure that the longer they stay with that person that things will work out over time. If you don't make any effort to fix the problem then the problem will only get worse. Problems give birth to more problems. Obviously, if there is an issue in a relationship resolving that problem should be priority.

5. That it will last forever: This is the biggest myth yet. Most people want their relationships to last until the ending of time. However, most relationships don't even make it halfway. There are many reasons why relationships don't last forever like we want them to, but the fact that most people believe that they should doesn't help to make that a reality. People base decisions to stay with people on the assumption that their love will last forever. It's true that some people have succeeded in making some partnerships last that long, but resting on this myth won't guarantee the longevitity that the majority of us seek.

Relationships are hard work. It takes the complete effort by both parties to make a partnership successful. Myths aren't realistic reasons to base your decisions about lifetime partnerships on. By knowing what is the reality about relationships you can find a long lasting relationship with that someone you love.


Z.R. Moore is a professional life and relationship coach. For more information on this topic, and others please check out her eBook on Amazon.

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