Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Dear Myne - His Hot and Cold Attitude Confuses Me

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I love your posts Myne. There's this guy, i met him sometime ago but my problem is, he isn't consistent. We have gone out once and after that, the chats and calls stopped for a long time. Whenever i go to his work place cos he works in a bank near my office, i ignore him and get down to business with the tellers but immediately i leave, he calls me and gets all sober on the phone as though i'm not interested in him. I feel he's the ladies man as every lady who walks into his banking hall wants his number and i also feel he doesn't know what he wants either cos whenever he remembers to contact me, he tells me that i feel i'm too good for him.

One day, i decided to call him, my thoughts were; i had not been fair enough to him and i really need to drop my uptight attitude. When we spoke, he said i'm aggressive and i fight against my emotions. He said i'm head over heels in-love with him or perhaps in a deep crush but maybe too shy to express my feelings....( of course i'm not, i just think he's a very presentable guy who could be what i want in a husband in the near future)

Whenever i go to the bank where he works, i'm usually in the company of a friend and he complained that i tell her everything about him. He also made mention of the fact that i'm so close to some Nigerian celebrities due to the nature of my work thus, i have no time for a 'broke guy' like himself.

My problem is, i have only gone out on a date with this guy once and he has concluded this much about me.
We spoke for over an hour over the phone and he promised to call me after church the next day but he didn't call. I spoke to my mom about it and she said that 'if he had me in mind, he would have called me back' although my sister opposed to that thought.

I personally felt he was weighing me, i think he wanted to see if i would call him and remind him about his promise to call but unfortunately I'm not that kind of person. I have never chased a guy before, they always come naturally and I wade most of them off because I feel I have to see something more in them to take the next step. I know i liked this guy from the moment i met him, and i sense the feeling is mutual because from his colleagues point of view, the guy never takes extra interest in any other girl that comes around him, most times, it's the girls that try hard to get his number.

I am more confused of his actions because, whenever i am around, he tries to make everyone stay off me by either holding my hands or touching my hair but after that, he doesn't call often but wait till weeks later to claim that i have forgotten him.

I really want to move on and stop associating with him entirely but i'm plagued by the fact that it might not be the right step after all. Sincerely, i wish i could forget that we ever spoke cos i'm tired of his roller coaster movements but again, i wonder if i should acknowledge him more often.


  1. Hello Myne, its been ages and I trust you are living life with joy.

    Dear Miss, in my personal experience which stems from meeting millions (ok I exaggerate) of guys like the one you have described, I will say let him be. If a man wants you he will make an effort to get you, to have you and to keep you. Think about it by flipping the script if you were to do the chasing because you want someone you will pull out all the stops to get the person. Let him be my dear, think of how much value you have and can add to a man's life, be proud and confident of your worth and with that knowledge only give in to a man who places a premium on your value. goodluck.

  2. This sounds all the way familiar to me. And i have this to say, you can't let go of someone you never had in the first place! Mutual attractions, fine! Likeness, no doubt! But there has to be much more than that for a seemingly relationship to hold put. The magic is consistensy and a heart of sincerity.

    This guy is obviously not ready for you. That he's weighing you? Maybe. That he's considering you? Possibly. So don't loose sleep over him until he "shows" you how he really wants to get on with you.

    Presently writing (in my head) something on this issue titled "If i was a Guy." I hope to pen it down as soon as i'm chanced from NYSC things. I tell myself if i was made a guy, i would do all i can spiritually and otherwise to have that special someone! And after i get the consent of my Maker about her, i would so much disturb her that she has no choice but to say YES!

    So please, let your heart be at rest. If indeed he's interested, i bet he knows what to do!

  3. honey, he's used to girls doing all the chasing. you not throwing yourself at him has bruised his ego n he needs to fix that. that's why he is blowing hot n cold. he allows u do the calling n when you stop his pride gets crushed, so he calls you once n make u think he is interested. the moment u start calling again, he sits back and enjoy u fussing over him. what u described is an insecure, obnoxious guy who thinks every lady cant do without him. . he is just a joke. even if u guys decide to date, you will be the one doing the work.so please park him for one side and move on. every lady deserves to be chased. (but that doesn't mean they will do too much yanga sha.)

  4. Let the guy be, he is obviously not ready for you because he got his hands full on somethings. If he were he will definitely come after you. Best of luck dear!

  5. Simple answer for you. He is just a tease. His moves are calculated. Forget him.

  6. My dear, are you a learner? This guy is a player, speak to your legs fast!

  7. He is just not that into u.


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