Wednesday, February 13, 2013

She Just Might be More into You than You Think

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The subtle signs that men miss - Part 1 by Tobi Atte

Have you ever had that teacher that walked in on the first day of class and said “You already have an “A” in this class… your Job is to keep it that way till the end of the class”. Well, it’s a very similar situation with the ladies. Sorry ladies…I’m about to leak some secrets ….but not to worry. It’s for a good cause. Many good men here could use the help.

Many men think that most women are rude and snobby when in actuality; they just don’t understand the non-verbal or underlying messages that the women are sending them. Most times when women are sending those unconscious messages, they do so without even thinking about it and they do so for many reasons. For the sake of this article we will say there are four.

(A) To invite you to make a move or approach without being obvious about it
(B) To tell you that it’s ok for you to take the lead
(C) To test whether or not what they think they see (e.g) confidence , is actually who you are.
(D) To test the boundaries…to see what you can take….if you can handle them where they are emotionally, physically, spiritually etc.

That said, most men are not very good at telling when a woman is interested. They often misinterpret the cues and miss out.  In this two-part series, you will learn 6 of most underrated signs that she may just be more into you than you think. These are the first 3:

1) The dynamics when you meet her friends: You officially meet her friends at a group dinner…a party, or an event and they ask you questions about yourself, what you do  or want to do, and then “confirm” your answers as something your lady friend has mentioned before. Like “Oh yea she was telling me you were into music”. Or when you answer questions in a way that they find interesting and attractive, almost like clockwork, they smile, possibly break eye contact with you to look at her and then back to you to continue the conversation. Or the transition from the bathroom break. So you are all chatting or hanging out in a group and then they all take their ladies group bathroom break and then her demeanor changes when she gets back.

That’s a HUGE sign. Read carefully….it’s not even necessarily what the demeanor changes to that matters…it’s simply the fact that it changed. You caused a change. Of course be careful to read her carefully and take a hint when she is not feeling your company and adjust. But if she comes out and remains as playful and fun as she was or gets more so, then it’s a dead giveaway because it means you survived the strategy meeting. The ladies’ group bathroom break is more intense and powerful than the White House Situation room. Fates of many men have been determined during that bathroom break. Lol.  Yup. Ladies, you are probably reading this with a smile of mischief right

Men, long before your ever suspected that she might even like you like that, her friends already have a hint and are on a positive investigative journey to soak up info about you that will be juicy for girl talk later and of course to make sure they are looking out for their friend. Don’t be alarmed. It’s a good thing. She is not a gossip and she has not sent you to the wolves. If she did not like you at all, she probably would have confirmed to them at the slightest query. Even if she didn’t confirm to them that she likes you, the fact that she didn’t deny that she likes you is strong non verbal language in girl-world and that is a great thing. There are no wolves…just fans…relax and do a fist pump. She just might be more into you than you think.

2) Fidgeting or stiff: This can be tough to figure out, and this applies to the beginning stages of when you first meet. The stiffness is more of a transition thing. If she is silly and lively with her friends when you are not around (or when she doesn’t know you are around) but she gets stiff as a board when you are around, don’t focus on the fact that she is stiff, focus on the shift in behavior. It may just be her way of trying to be proper in front of you. As for the fidgeting, it’s almost the same thing. Many men are instantly discouraged and think the girl is snobby or rude or not paying attention. That’s not to say there aren’t a lot of snobby and rude women out there, this is just to say don’t jump to conclusion.

In a dating scenario, a lady is rarely nervous when she is talking to someone she is not attracted to in any way. So if she is acting slightly nervous around you. That may not be a bad thing. Watch how engaging she is in conversation despite the fidgeting. Sometimes an even better giveaway is when catches herself fidgeting and tries to suddenly stop herself. Like if she suddenly stops playing with her pen or the empty glass in her hand and suddenly stops shifting in her chair and suddenly sits still. Yea...that’s the inner dialogue in her head telling her “OMG stop fidgeting and stay calm, you’re going to give the secret away!” but if you know this my friend, then she already DID give it away. Relax and do the happy dance. She just might be more into you than you think.

3) She makes seemingly negative remarks about men but doesn’t take it out on you: When she says things like “Men are so terrible at communication” (while you have be on the phone with each other for 3 hours) or “You can’t trust men” (When she has allowed you to pick her up at night and take her “out” on a date), she is not accusing you. She may merely be;

(A) Suggesting that communication and trust are important to her;
(B) Initiating conversation about those things important to her in a man without sounding insecure and inexperienced and
(C) Inviting you to prove her wrong  and show that you are different from most men.

Your job? ENGAGE her in that dialogue. Cause her to reflect and keep talking. Find out… “So what exactly does communication mean to you? What exactly makes men terrible at communication? Can women be terrible at communication? How does a man know is he is communicating the right way. So again, when she makes seemingly negative comments about men but not taking that negativity out on you, relax and do a back flip. She just might be more into you than you think.

3 down…3 to go. I never claim to know it all and these are not the “all in all” signs that a woman is ready enter a committed relationship with you but if you understand these things, it’ll save you from some guess work and maybe from missing out on that great lady.


Tobi Atte is a relationship, motivation and life coach. For one on one or group life/relationship coaching, feel free to contact Tobi at He is a certified Neuro Lingusitic Programming Practitioner. Tobi is a dynamic speaker on relationships, motivation, change, leadership, success empowerment, fresh perspectives on faith, and personal growth in general. Tobi is the writer behind the website and visit the same name on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube: ijustmetme


  1. Good one Tobi, I am a guy and I want to see more of this kind of article on this blog.


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